Sunday, 16 April 2017

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 19th April 2017


"THE RANGE"  Vol. 58 No.19
WEDNESDAY 19TH APRIL 2017

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Sharon Tregonning on Advanced Care Planning.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Jeff before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS                       
                               19th Apr           17th May            
Duty Officer            Chris B             CL Claridge           
Assist DO               David F            Malcolm B                      
Registration            Keith R             Ric T
Fellowship              Rick V              Bill H

SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
13th May
Lionel Tilley (Leader)   Andy Shouteten  Malcolm Baker

27th May
Jeff Cornfoot  (Leader)  Roly Neiper  Phillip Stark

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
President Jeff welcomed members and guests to the meeting. He reported that the Club had gained good PR in the Glasshouse Country and Maleny News and a positive response to the Community Grants evening held at the RSL last month. Rotary also features in the current Hinterland Times - advertising the calendar photo competition. Several members reported that the District Conference held at Caloundra last weekend went well. Past RI President Glen Kinross’s speech was particularly mentioned.

Reminders were given about the 2017 Maleny District Sports and Recreation Club Awards night to be held on Sat 22 April at the RSL. It would be good to have a Rotary table. The club has nominated the Interact Club for one award. Some discussion was held on the sausage sizzle trial of later starting and finishing times. Results were mixed - the position of the sizzle could affect the takings, and Rotary PR may be more the priority than fundraising. Our incoming exchange student from Spain arrives on 4 July. Jeff thanked Malcolm who has agreed to be his counselor. Lionel announced that this would be the last year of the Rotary Bowel Scan program. Kits in hand would be sold at the usual venues. The Federal Government will be running their progamme after that.

Sue Larsen from the Fred Hollows Foundation was welcomed at the guest speaker. Sue is the National Fundraising Manager for the Foundation, which started 25 years ago. Sue previously worked for Thai International Airlines for 20 years and met Fred Hollows through her work there, and his work in Eritrea and Nepal. Fred loved indigenous Australia and launched the National Trachoma Programme. Trachoma is an eye disease endemic in lots of indigenous areas. Fred pioneered and revolutionised cataract surgery through the use of the perspex intra-ocular lens. He set about reducing the cost of the lenses and the operations, and training local people to do the work.

Sue’s presentation highlighted lots of statistics relating to the need to treat preventable blindness, and about the success and extent of the Foundations’ work in 25 countries including Nepal, Eritrea, Northern Africa, South East Asia, Pakistan and Afghanistan.
• 32.4 million people in the world are blind
• 90% live in developing countries
• 3 out of 5 of them are women
• 4 out of 5 have preventable blindness
• In 2015 the Foundation reached 890,066 in eye operations and treatment
• 64,613 people had been trained, including 232 surgeons
• $2.4 million has been invested in equipment and technology
• $25 donation can restore sigh t- a gift that is life-changing.

It was gratifying to be reminded that Rotary International had kick-started the Foundation with a $100,000 donation presented to Gabbi Hollows at the Melbourne Rotary International Convention in 1992. Sue’s presentation reassured us that the work that Fred Hollows pioneered is still being carried out by the Foundation, which is now stronger and reaching more communities- providing affordable and sustainable eye care, investing in people to carry on the work in the 25 countries it has reached. Sue outlined ways that people can get involved as volunteers, and/or in participating in fundraising activities such as Coastrek  coming up on the Sunshine Coast in July. For more information visit coastrek.com.au or the Fred Hollows Foundation website at : www.hollows.org.

Sue finished the presentation with a video showing the remarkable work of the Foundation through the commentary of Ray Martin, the Foundation’s first chairman, travelling to a remote area in Laos where surgery was needed to be carried out on twins, both born with cataracts. 

Sherryl gave the vote of thanks.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
22nd April
MDSRC Awards Dinner at the RSL.

26th April
Masonic Hall at 5:30 for 6:00pm for Club Assembly.

29th April to 1st May
Car parking duties at Maleny Wood Expo.

3rd May
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

10th May
Combined Clubs Meeting at USC.

17th May
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker TBC.
   
BIRTHDAYS FOR APRIL
1st Nancy Baker  4th Phillip Stark  8th David Fraser 12th Chris Brooker  23rd John McLennan  27th Chris Ross Smith & John Whan

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR APRIL
13th Jeff & Jan Cornfoot  26th Bill & Marlene Hankinson

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
THE COURSE OF TRUE LOVE DOES NOT RUN SMOOTH
A WIFE'S TALE

Several days ago, as I left a meeting, I desperately gave myself a personal search. I was looking for my car keys.

They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the car park.
 
My husband has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
 
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. His theory is that the car will be stolen.

As I scanned the car park I came to a terrifying conclusion! His theory was right. The car park was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all.
 
"Hello My Love", I stammered; I always call him "My Love" in times like these. "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had disconnected, but then I heard his voice. He barked, "I dropped you off!"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."


He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your bloody car."

This is what they call, " the Golden Years!"




Friday, 31 March 2017

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 5th April 2017

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 58 No.18
WEDNESDAY 5TH APRIL 2017

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Sue Larsen on the Fred Hollows Foundation.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Jim before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS                       
                               5th Apr           19th Apr        17th May            
Duty Officer            Michael G       Chris B         CL Claridge           
Assist DO               Sherryl G        David F         Malcolm B                      
Registration            Phillip S          Keith R          Ric T
Fellowship              Alan W           Rick V            Bill H

SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
8th April
Rick Vickers  (Leader)   Ric Townsend   Chris Brooker

22nd April
Jim Atkinson  (Leader)  Michael and Sherryl Gregory

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
President Jeff opened the meeting with a report about the success of the DIK packing trip (10 Club members had travelled to Brisbane) and the recent decision of the Board to give $500 each to DIK and ROMAC.

Though the Maleny Interact Club did not win best presentation at the recent Conference they were congratulated on winning it every year for the past 3 years. The Award this year had gone to the most recently established Interact Club near Gympie.

Chris Brooker spruicked the bikes for wheelchairs project – 10 bikes had been stripped so far and more volunteers were needed to dismantle bikes that had been donated.

Other issues covered included: Gazebo sign (now sorted), Community Grants Dinner arrangements, MCSR tour for interested Rotarians on 29 March, Historical Society Open Day on 7 May. There was serious notice of the new Rotary requirements in relation to volunteering involving children – in future the Blue Card was not sufficient and a full police check was now needed for each member. Members were warned never to be alone with an under 18-year-old child.

Chris Ross Smith spruiked the Arts Council event at Community Centre at 2pm on 26 March – Eleanor’s Story.

The Sergeant extracted a few coins from the unwary.

Ken Wishaw, Professor of Paramedic Science at the Sunshine Coast University, was our speaker for the evening. He had been a Lieutenant Colonel in the Army and a doctor in Buderim but now retired to pursue his lifelong passion of astronomy.  Ken enthralled us with a fascinating talk about the search for and successful identification of a site in Maleny for stargazing.

He showed us extraordinary photographs of distant planets and stars taken with an iPhone through a telescope at the Maleny Golf Club and educated us about space, stars, planets, moons, solar systems and galaxies.

Apparently, the Maleny Golf Course is potentially one of the top astronomy sites in Australia and, with the support of Cllr Jenny McKay, Ken was in negotiations with the Sunshine Coast Council for the formal designation of the Maleny Golf Course as an “astro tourism” site – the goal being an open air planetarium that would attract stargazers far and wide.
There is to be a demonstration on 24 March on site and the first public event was planned for 1 April.
Ken was seeking feedback on the idea and support – more information on Darksky.org.  Angela gave the vote of thanks.

COMMUNITY GRANTS AWARDS DINNER
A short report on this successful event at the RSL and details of the recipents of the awards have been published on our blogsite.


FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
12th April
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

19th April
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Sharon Tregonning on Advanced Care Planning.

26th April
Masonic Hall at 5:30 for 6:00pm for Club Assembly.

3rd May
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

10th May
Combined Clubs Meeting at USC.
   
BIRTHDAYS FOR APRIL
1st Nancy Baker  4th Phillip Stark  8th David Fraser 12th Chris Brooker  23rd John McLennan  27th Chris Ross Smith & John Whan

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR APRIL
13th Jeff & Jan Cornfoot  26th Bill & Marlene Hankinson

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
US COURT RULES ON HOLY DAYS

In Florida, an atheist created a case against Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood and objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others.
The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays..."


The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counselor, is woefully ignorant."

The lawyer said," Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists." 

The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fool's Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day.

Court is adjourned..."

You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture!




Thursday, 30 March 2017

Rotary Club of Maleny's Small Grants for Community Groups March 2017

AWARDS NIGHT 23 MARCH 2017

 At a very successful dinner on 23rd March at the RSL, the Rotary Club of Maleny held an awards night  where 15 local community groups were presented with cheques to enable them to finance projects that had been submitted for approval.

President Jeff Cornfoot explained the background to the scheme:
  
"For the last 3 years the Rotary Club of Maleny has called for applications from local Community groups for grants of up to $1000 to assist with specific projects. The 2017 program has been completed with 15 groups sharing a record $10,200." 
  
The attached video presentation lists the successful applicants (in alphabetical order) and the projects for which they had requested funding.  Special thanks are due to Ric Townsend for the production and posting of this video.

video

Friday, 10 March 2017

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 15th March 2017

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 58 No.17
WEDNESDAY 15TH MARCH 2017

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Ken Wishaw on Light Pollution.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS                       
                                15th Mar            5th Apr            19th Apr            
Duty Officer            CL Claridge       Michael G        Chris B           
Assist DO               Angela G           Sherryl G         David F                      
Registration            Lionel T             Phillip S           Keith R
Fellowship              John W              Alan W             Rick V

SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
25th March
Chris Ross-Smith  (Leader)   Angela Griffin   John Whan

8th April
Rick Vickers  (Leader)   Ric Townsend   Chris Brooker

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
Our guest speaker for the night was Julia Peddie from the local community group Compassionate Housing Affordability Solutions for Maleny (CHASM).  Julia’s stated intention of her address was to leave members with a greater appreciation of the need for affordable housing in Maleny and, inspired by the potential for the community to find and run our own solutions, to maintain the social diversity and to strategically manage and design our community’s future …and indeed she did.

Julia presented some startling statistics for example: women over 55 are the fastest growing group of homeless in Australia (double that of the UK); only 7% of single mothers in Australia own their home; Maleny has one of the tightest rental markets in the State – this is resulting in people having to move away including young families and pensioners as well as people who have fluctuating incomes such as service workers, the self employed and artistic people. Last year 82 people reported experiencing homelessness to MNC. This is an issue our community must take control of given the lack of interest by the State Government.

To find affordable housing solutions for the community, CHASM was formed in 2016.  The aim is to provide a diverse range of housing options that allow people of all income levels to live in the neighbourhood of their choice and to create a society that is inclusive, improves wellbeing and provides for a sustainable future.

The group has presented three key projects to Council and is in discussion for a display village of small and affordable housing on the Sunshine Coast; the first being rolled out this year is ‘Home Made: Living Small & Simply’ . The first small dwelling will be trialled on the Maple Street Community Garden land.


CHASM is seeking from the community:
•    Landholders wishing to be involved for long-term lease arrangements or provide land donations;
•    Fundraising partnerships;
•    Material donations;
•    Building and trade skills donations;
•    People to help build and obtain a Certificate 1 in Construction;
•    Board members for governance and finance;
•    Crowd-funding help.


Phillip proposed a vote of thanks.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
22nd March
Club Assembly at the Masonic Centre now cancelled.

23rd March
RSL at 6:30 for 7:00pm for the Club's 2017 Community Grants Awards - Partners Night.

24th to 26th March
District Conference at Caloundra.

26th March
Bikes to Wheelchairs at the Maleny Showgrounds.

29th March
Possible vocational visit to the new Mary Cairncross Park building - TBC.

5th April
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Sue Larsen on the Fred Hollows Foundation.

12th April
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.
   
BIRTHDAYS FOR MARCH
5th Judy Tilley  26th Rick Vickers

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR MARCH
6th John & Beth Wann  22nd Peter and Kay Wilkinson

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
WITH THE APPROACH OF ST PATRICK'S DAY, LET'S RISK AN IRISH JOKE

An Irish mother's letter to her son

Dear Son,

We are all doing very well.

You won't recognise the house when you get home - because we have moved. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved 25 miles to Wexford.
  
I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't  have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.
 
Your father's got a really good job now. He's got 500 men under him.  He's cutting the grass at the cemetery.

Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out if it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an auntie or an  uncle.

Your brother Tom is still in the army. He's only been there a short while and they've already made him a court martial!

Your Uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in the Dublin Distillery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took three days to put out the fire.

I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten  minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice this week, first for three days and then for four days. Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the same egg four times.
 
We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the last payment on your grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven days, up she comes.

About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
 
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He wound down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the flatbed at the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.
 
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
 
Your loving Mum.
  
P.S. I was going to send you some money but I had already sealed the envelope.


Monday, 27 February 2017

Rotary Club of Maleny and Mary Cairncross Park

MARY CAIRNCROSS SCENIC RESERVE RAINFOREST DISCOVERY CENTRE


This new building was formally opened by the Governor in the presence of invited guests.  Amongst these was Chris Brooker representing the Rotary Club of Maleny.  The text of Chris's speech which covers our Club's involvement with the establishment of this Reserve is given below.

"Your Excellency, Distinguished Guests, Ladies and Gentleman.

I congratulate Sunshine Coast Council for their foresight in upgrading the facilities here to the magnificent structure in which we are and thank you for inviting me to talk as recognition of Rotary’s involvement in what is one of the longest running projects involving Rotary in Australia. 58 years.

Unfortunately, sometimes the history of our contribution to the Reserve gets lost in the annals of time and records.

Photos of the original opening show Sir Henry Abel Smith escorted by two Rotarians, Norm Tesch as Past President and Vic Waddell current President.
 
I have relied heavily on the book Rotary in Maleny, written by Jack Wilcox OAM and my own recollections.
 
In October 1959, after the Club had discussions with Landsborough Shire Council and in consultation with Elizabeth Thynne, it was agreed that the new Rotary Club of Maleny would create and maintain the Reserve and Sanctuary as the Club’s first major project. Without Rotary, this Reserve wouldn’t have happened and we have been involved with the Reserve in various capacities since then.
  
The Charter President, Norm Tesch, wished to have the Reserve open in October 1960. Thousands of hours of volunteer work over the next two decades by Rotary members, wives, their children and friends turned the 100 acres of Natural Scrub into an enduring tourist attraction. .

Almost every weekend, most of the members worked to clear dead trees and lantana, clear and establish walking tracks from the original snigging tracks, dig toilets, remove rubbish (no wheelie bins in those days) identify and name trees, erect shelter sheds, water tanks and toilet blocks, tables and fireplaces and mow the grass. Imagine 12 Rotarians with old Victas in a line mowing grass in summer every weekend.

 The Cairn at the front was erected as a memorial to Mary Williamina Cairncross in 1964; Sir Henry Abel Smith again did the honours.

In 1968 the small bridge over the creek was another Rotary project.
 1985 saw the replacement of tables and perimeter posts and in 1987, the Rixon Burnett walk was declared. Rixon was a past Rotarian and Shire Councillor and probably pivotal in the original talks between Rotary and Landsborough Council.
 
1989 Rotary funded and constructed a children’s playground and Apex built the fence along the side of the park track and in 2002 we donated 5 hardwood seats and we today maintain representation on the management committee of the Reserve.
 
As a Rotarian, I am very proud of our history and continuing participation with Mary Cairncross. Another Rotarian, my dad, Bert Brooker, was involved right from the start and I was one of the kids who spent countless hours playing on the grass here, catching leeches in the creek and honing my driving skills, at 15, by taking Bert’s Falcon for a spin down to Landsborough Rd cnr. Only did that once though.

Mayor Jamieson and Councillor McKay, once again my sincere congratulations.

Thank you.

Saturday, 25 February 2017

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 1st March 2017

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 58 No.16
WEDNESDAY 1ST MARCH 2017

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Julia Peddie (CHASM) on Housing Affordability.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS                       
                               1st Mar           15th Mar              5th April              
Duty Officer            Roly N            CL Claridge         Michael G           
Assist DO               Phillip S          Angela G             Sherryl G                      
Registration           John McL         Lionel T              Phillip S
Fellowship              Bill H              John Whan          Alan W

SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
11th March
Jeff Cornfoot  (Leader)  Roly Neiper  Keith Rogers

25th March
Chris R-S  (Leader)  Angela Griffin  John Whan

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
President Jeff was warmly welcomed back after his fundraising motorbike ride in Rotary District 3181 where he and his “international biker gang” had been welcomed and hosted royally by local Rotarians. $50,000 was raised for TRF and each rider was recognised with a Paul Harris Fellowship.
Our Club toasted District 3181, which has 2000 Rotarians and President Jeff presented glamorous banners from the Indian clubs.

Back in work and chairing mode, President Jeff welcomed our guest speaker Helen Walker and other guests; reminded members of DIK commitment on 4 March; District Assembly on 19 Feb (6 attending); MCSR opening when Chris Brooker would represent the Club; Romac Trivia Night fund raiser.

Chris Brooker reported on: 29 March working bee for harvesting bike parts for recycling into wheelchairs by Surfers Sunrise Club; Panel decisions on Club Community Grants 2017 yet to be announced; possible project for lockers for the High School; Date Claimer of 1 July for parking duties at Muscle on the Mountain; and Hospital Auxiliary project for special beds for Maleny Hosp.

Phillip Stark spruiked the get together at the RSL on Sunday 26 Feb to meet invitees who might be interested in Rotary. Members welcome.

Alan Wilson reported he was home hosting a representative from St Jude’s Orphanage who would be speaking at the District Conference; and also the idea for support for a Rotary Community Corps in Popondetta PNG, sponsored by Maleny and Boroko in PNG.

Jim reported that testing of extension of sausage sizzle by 1 hour had not increased sales.

Chris Brooker encouraged donations from Melinda (attacked by wasps, poor thing when she tried to nick – no pick! a lime at an open home); Malcolm’s operation; Alan taking a nap in the pub; Ric’s haircut; Keith’s forlorn attempts at rentacrowd at the SS; Michael Gregory’s out of date Rotary shirt; President Jeff for visiting the romantic Taj Majal without his wife!

Helen Walker was welcomed back to the Club to share her experiences as the only nurse for Australian citizens on remote Australian Territory Islands – this time the Cocos Islands, off the West coast of Western Australia - 950 kms from Christmas Island. Travel is by Virgin Air twice a week from Perth when weather permitted. The Islands consist of twenty-seven tiny coral islands surrounding two atolls – Home Island and West Island with a population of 450 individuals of mainly Malay Muslim heritage and 150 ex pats who provide services for the Islands including teachers for the one High School. In addition to the health clinic there is an excellent dental clinic run by a Cocos Malay dentist. Helen compared this to Torres Strait Islands where there was no dentist and the population suffered. Helen felt that because of the high standard of dental hygiene that maybe the population on Cocos were resistant to rheumatic fever, which by contrast was common in the Torres Straight Islands.

Very competent Cocos Malay clinic workers support Helen’s fully computerised clinic on a day-to-day basis. The closest hospital is Christmas Island or for major emergencies - Perth.
The Islanders earned income from tourism to these remote and peaceful islands through activities such as kite and wind surfing, tours and birdwatching, sailing etc. Other income comes from export of coconut, which could be expanded with help, though it is subject to a tariff set by the Australian Government.  New businesses would be welcomed to provide employment and enterprise opportunities for the population who live in peace and harmony together in what Helen describes as paradise.

Angela proposed the vote of thanks.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
4th March
Working bee at DIK - bus leaves Landsborough Station at 0830h.

8th March
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

15th March
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Ken Wishaw on Light Pollution.

22nd March
Club Assembly at the Masonic Centre now cancelled.

23rd March
RSL at 6:30 for 7:00pm for the Club's 2017 Community Grants Awards - Partners Night.

26th March
Bikes to Wheelchairs at the Maleny Showgrounds.

29th March
TBC
    
BIRTHDAYS FOR MARCH
5th Judy Tilley  26th Rick Vickers

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR MARCH
6th John & Beth Wann  22nd Peter and Kay Wilkinson

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
HOW MANY OF YOU KNOW WHAT A PARAPROSDOKIAN IS?

A paraprosdokian (/pærəprɒsˈdoʊkiən/) is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence, phrase, or larger discourse is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part.

Examples of paraprosdokian Wisdom

·    If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.
·     I find it ironic that the colours red, white, and blue stand for freedom -  until they’re flashing behind you.
·      Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
·      Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
·      I’m great at multi-tasking — I can waste time, be unproductive,  and procrastinate all at once.
·      If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
·      Take my advice — I'm not using it.
·      My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.
·      Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they’re at home when you wish they were.
·      Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
·      Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
·      Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
·      He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
·      Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?
·      I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
·      Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
·      I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn’t find it.
·      If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
·      Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let him sleep.
·      If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
·      Money is the root of all wealth.
·      No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.