Sunday, 8 January 2017

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 18th January 2017

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 58 No.13
WEDNESDAY 18TH JANUARY 2017

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Des Harms on Onsite Sewerage.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                       
                               18th Jan       1st Feb            15th Feb                
Duty Officer            Ric T            Keith R             Rick V                     
Assist DO               Alan W         Lionel T            Phillip S                      
Registration            Andy S         Malcolm B       Bernice McL
Fellowship              John W         Jim A               David F

SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
14th January
Ric Townsend (Leader)  Chris Ross-Smith  John Whan

28th January
Rick Vickers  (Leader)  Michael and Sherryl Gregory

11th February
Chris Brooker  (Leader)  Phillip Stark  Jim Atkinson

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
President Jeff opened the meeting with a welcome to our outgoing Youth Exchange Student, Mollie Beckmann, her mum Michelle and a hosted exchange student, Nicole, from Italy (no, not Rotary).

After the usual preamble, Jeff gave a short (5 minutes ??), very interesting and informative talk on Rotary Foundation with reference to a book he has on it. Luckily he was only up to page 25 or the talk could have been longer.

Our sergeant gave his usual brief and bull fine session. Even had a modicum of truth in a couple.

After the coffee break, Mollie gave a short introductory talk (copy attached) and was then subjected to a Q and A. Mollie spoke with knowledge of the program and a good grasp of the fundamentals. She has recently returned from the Sunshine Safari whereby both inbound and outbound students are taken on a bus trip to local areas and obtained a lot of information from interacting with the other students.

Mollie was also the past President of Maleny Interact Club.  She leaves late January for Spain for 12 months. We wish her all the best for an enjoyable and interesting exchange.

"Hi everyone and thank you for having me tonight.
I wasn't too sure what exactly I was expected to say tonight so I hope you don't mind that I have prepared a short introduction about myself, where I am going and what I am hoping out of this experience. So for those I haven't had a chance to meet yet, my name is Mollie Beckmann and, as of today, I will arrive in district 2242 in Spain in exactly a month. About 5 months ago Chris Brooker approached our Maleny High School lnteract club presenting the opportunity of spending one year in a foreign country. My family has had international students- not through Rotary- since my mum was in primary school and so I have always wanted to do an exchange but didn't know about the possibility of doing it through Rotary. I am so grateful to all of you for giving me this opportunity.

District 9600 has never sent or received a student from Spain before, so myself and a girl Mia from Noosa will be the first. About 2 months ago I was sent the first email from my host family. Before this, the only information I knew was that I was going to Spain, nothing else. ln this email my host mum Anna explained that I will be staying with them for 6 months, giving me only two host families. Whilst I am with her, I will have three younger brothers- which is not too far from what I have here and will attend a school about 5 minutes from my home.

My house is in a small town called Valls about 10 minutes north of Tarragona by the beach. This means that I will be about 40 minutes from Barcelona. Most people I have spoken to were not particularly au fait with the geography of Spain, myself included, so I have a map to show you where I will be. ln Spain, there are three multidistrict's, 2201, 2203 and mine; 2242. My district covers the north east section of Spain which means it covers the entirety of the Catalunya region.

 ln Catalunya they are actually a bilingual community, meaning I will need to learn both Catalan and Spanish. From this exchange I hope to learn about myself. I will be welcomed into a new country, a new school, a Rotary club, a town and a family. I will learn from their culture and their ways of doing things. I will be open-minded and come home more adaptable and flexible than I have ever been. I will leave with not just my family here but with two other families that I love just as much. They are many things I hope to gain from this exchange, but what I hope for most is to not leave after having a great year vacation to come home, but be leaving a second home after making friends and having family that live up to the ones I have here.
Thank you for having me here tonight, and even more, thank you for giving me this opportunity. I will always be grateful."

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
25th January
Club Assembly at the Masonic Centre - no meal.

26th January
Australia Day at Maleny Showgrounds.

1st February
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Max Lindegger on Ecological Solutions.

8th February
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

15th February
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker TBC

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY FOR JANUARY
1st Malcolm and Nancy

BIRTHDAYS FOR JANUARY
1st Jan Cornfoot & Kay Wilkinson  21st Michael Gregory

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
A POSSIBLE GLIMPSE INTO THE FUTURE

1981 & 2005 - TWO INTERESTING YEARS
  
Interesting Year 1981
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe .
3. Australia lost the Ashes.
4. The Pope died.

 
Interesting Year 2005
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe .
3. Australia lost the Ashes.
4. The Pope died.

 
Lesson to be learned:

The next time Prince Charles gets married, someone should warn the Pope - and Cricket Australia.







 
      




Saturday, 17 December 2016

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 21st December 2016

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 58 No.12
WEDNESDAY 21ST DECEMBER 2016

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Molly Beckman who is our Outbound Exchange Student.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS                       
                               21st Dec                
Duty Officer            Jim A                     
Assist DO               Chris B                      
Registration            Bill H
Fellowship              Roly N     
        
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
31st December
Jeff Cornfoot  (Leader)  Malcolm Baker  Roly Neiper

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
LT reported that there has been a significant downturn in the uptake of bowel scan kits and many Rotary Clubs have pulled out because it conflicts with the Government program; we will use up our present stock in 2017 and that will be our last year.

Some proceeds from the carols night would go to the Neighbourhood Centre,  a reminder that the street carnival is on this Friday and rosters confirmed, and general discussion on Uniting Church Xmas Tree setting up and theme.

MM advised us of Ray White’s ‘Little Ray of Giving’ initiative – full details can be found in the current Hinterland Times.

MB introduced our guest speaker, Rae Guyder, a registered theatre nurse, member of the Rotary Club of Bribie Island and the District Chairman for Interplast.  She has a special interest in community health and is passionate about her role in promoting the work if Interplast which was established in 1983 through collaboration between Rotary and the Royal Australian College of Surgeons. 

Rotary is represented on the Board, the objective is “Repairing Bodies,  Rebuilding Lives” in developing countries and teams consist of volunteer surgeons,  anaesthetists, nurses and allied health professionals to provide free life changing reconstructive surgery and medical training.  The volunteers restore function and hope to people affected by burns, tumours, hand and foot injuries, congenital abnormalities and more, while training programs give local professionals the skills they need to treat these conditions. 

The first program was conducted by a team of just three in Fiji and now Interplast operates across the whole Asia Pacific region, delivering dozens of surgical and training programs each year.  800+ programs have been delivered, more than 23,000 life changing surgeries accomplished, and more than 40,000 patient consultations held.  Only plastic and reconstructive surgery (ie no cosmetic) is performed and sustainability is achieved through training and capacity building of in country partners.  Teams are invited by participating countries, are made up of required specialists, and need around 300kg of equipment.
 
Interplast is fully accredited with DFAT and each program costs around $45,000 so funding is always needed.  It’s impact extends far beyond any individual patient.  By providing hundreds of educational opportunities each year they change the futures of medical trainees who otherwise may never have had the chance to learn certain skills and techniques and the volunteers themselves hone their skills treating conditions that are rarely seen at home.
  
MG thanked Rae for her informative presentation, mentioned our years of involvement with the “Helping Children Smile Program” and presented her with the iconic Maleny Rotary bag, calendar, history, and Humanity in Motion. 

CHRISTMAS PARTY
Sincere thanks to Bill and Marlene for their kindness in hosting this successful event and congratulations to all the organisers involved.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
28th December
No meeting.

4th January
No Meeting

11th January
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

18th January
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Des Harms on Onsite Sewerage.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR DECEMBER
6th Chris & Jocelyn  12th Jim & Elaine Roly and Kerry Neiper 17th Lionel & Judy

BIRTHDAYS FOR DECEMBER
11th Jim Atkinson  15th Robin Thorne

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
POSSIBLE NEW YEAR RESOLUTION
SHOULD I REALLY JOIN FACEBOOK?

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Face Book and Twitter.
  
I signed up under duress for Twitter and Face Book, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way.  I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.


My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation.  I am not ready to live like this.  I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.



The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library.  I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Bluetooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive.  I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble, talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me.  I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time.
 
Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating."  You would think that she could be nicer.  It was like she could barely tolerate me.  She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light.  Then, if I made a right turn instead.  Well, it was not a good relationship...

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house.  We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me.  They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store.  You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop.  I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me!

Now I toss it back to them.  When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?"  I just say, "Doesn't matter to me.  I am bi-sacksual."  Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. 

I was recently asked if I tweet.  I answered, "No, but I do fart a lot."

P.S.  I know some of you are not over 60.  I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are.  I figured your sense of humour could handle it.

We senior citizens don't need any more gadgets.  The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.

A HAPPY, PEACEFUL AND SUCCESSFUL NEW YEAR TO ALL.



Friday, 2 December 2016

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 7th December 2016

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 58 No.11
WEDNESDAY 7TH DECEMBER 2016

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Rae Guyder on Interplast.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                       
                               7th Dec              21st Dec                
Duty Officer            Malcolm B          Jim A                     
Assist DO               Mike G               Chris B                      
Registration            Ric T                  Bill H
Fellowship              John W              Roly N     
        
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
17th December
Bill Hankinson  (Leader)  Keith Rogers  Andy Shouteten

31st December
Jeff Cornfoot  (Leader)  Malcolm Baker  ANO?

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
The guest speaker was CL talking about her trip to Ebenezer.

She gave an excellent and powerful talk starting with the big picture and introducing us to the geography, history, social dynamics and economy of Zambia - this was followed by a most evocative description of the Victoria Falls and Zambezi river  before she focused on the purpose of her visit - the present development, challenges and possible future of 'The Ebeneezer Trust' with its children's village, primary school and produce supportive farm - all inspired,guided and developed by the late Ranji Chara.

There are many appalling statistics that relate to the poverty stricken existence of much of Zambia's population. So many women who can't get work turning to prostitution and gathering in cities such as Livingstone where they catch and then spread AIDS. Half a million children orphaned by parents dead from HIV/AIDS  and so many of the children also infected and so few adults to help them. A government that just doesn't have the money to cope with such catastrophes.
.
One of the most powerful  aspects of C.L.'s talk was that her calm and quiet manner whilst listing such terrible facts, without histrionics or emotional emphasis, allowed our own imaginations and emotions to be involved. What follows are C.L's own notes for her talk.

Ebenezer Child Care Trust March 2016

Zambia borders the Democratic Republic of Congo to the north, Tanzania to the northeast, Malawi and Mozambique to the east, Zimbabwe and Botswana to the south, Namibia to the southwest, and Angola to the west.

Zambian demographics - 2014:
•    Life expectancy at birth: 49yrs male, 53yrs female
•    Infant mortality rate 76 per 1000
•    46% of the population is under 15 years
•    28% of households have electricity
•    49% of women are employed
•    Over half a million children orphaned due to HIV/AIDS
•    83% of the population live below the poverty line.

Causes of poverty in Zambia:
•    Demographic pyramid
•    Incidence of HIV/AIDS
•    Corruption
•    Brain drain

Originally known as the Old Drift crossing, Livingstone owes its existence primarily to the Victoria Falls and was established as a staging point across the Zambezi River. The town is named after Dr David Livingstone, the first European to see, name and publicise the Falls who first sighted the Falls in 1855.

Livingstone was founded in 1905 at a safe distance from the then swampy banks of the Zambezi. In 1907 it became the capital of what was known as Northern-Western Rhodesia. In 1911 it became the capital of Northern Rhodesia, what is today called Zambia. In 1935 the capital was moved to Lusaka but Livingstone retained its “Tourist Capital”.

Zambia is divided into 10 provinces and 105 districts. Livingstone is in Southern Province and was until early 2014 the capital of the province. Choma is now the capital and administrative centre. Choma is 186 km from Livingstone. The move of all government provincial offices to Choma has disadvantaged Livingstone as not only by making interaction with the offices difficult but also by reducing the employment opportunities

Lying 10km to the north of the Zambezi River, it is a tourism centre for the Victoria Falls and a border town with road and rail connections to Zimbabwe on the other side of the Victoria Falls. The impact of this move to Choma is the chances of employment are now largely restricted to tourist sector. Jobs requiring higher qualifications are scarce.

Livingstone is a transit city. It is the first stopping point in Zambia for tourists, goods trucks, and others. This results in increase in the sex industry, higher levels of HIV/AIDS, drugs and unemployment. Women also come from surrounding towns to be part of the sex industry. Many are trapped in a poverty cycle.

Victoria Falls – the smoke that thunders

One of the Seven Natural Wonders of the world. The river is mostly in Zimbabwe but a part meanders through Zambia. It also stretches through Angola, Namibia, Botswana, and Mozambique.

They are the largest falls in the world and are 1708 m wide (one and a half times wider than Niagara Falls) and vary from 80 m to 108 m high (twice as high as Niagara Falls).  At peak flow roughly 700 million litres of water flow over the edge per minute. Falling 100m, the spray rises 500 m in the air.

The river is on a basalt plateau that has many large cracks filled with weaker sandstone. The largest cracks run roughly east to west with smaller north-south cracks connecting them. The falls have been receding upstream over the last 100,000 years, eroding the sandstone-filled cracks to form the zig-zag chasms which are called the Batoka gorges. The original Vic Falls was 8 kms downstream from the current falls. It has cut through seven subsequent gorges to be where it is today.

Ebenezer Child Care Trust

Ranji Chara a Sri Lankan grandmother arrived in Livingstone in 2001. She saw the plight of the huge number of orphans and street children and decided to do something about it. Initially she set up a feeding program for street children. She soon realised that more was needed.

Now, 15 years later, the Ebenezer Child Care Trust houses 30 children plus 20 toddlers and babies. Rachael who came to Ebenezer as a teenager is now working with the Elephant Rehab organisation. She is the first Zambian female to work with elephants.

Primary School
The ECCT Primary School was established in 2005 and currently educates over 340 children in classes kindergarten to 7. The children in the Children’s Village and primary school are orphaned and from impoverished homes affected and infected with HIV/AIDS.

Farm
ECCT also runs a 40 acre farm to grow food to help feed the children in the Children’s Village and Primary School. When there is an excess of produce it is sold to provide income for ECCT projects.

The farm was purchased in 2009. It’s located 12 kms east of Ebenezer Children’s Village in the Libuyu District, where the soil is more fertile than closer to Livingstone.

RAWCS
In a nutshell the project will construct a school to provide student, teacher and workers education and skill development opportunities as a strategy to reduce the incidence of children orphaned or abandoned as a consequence of HIV/AIDS.

The land for the school on Nakatindi Road is 150m x 140m ie 21,000 sq metres or approx. 5.2 acres or 2.1 hectares

It is proposed the new school will be for years 5-12 with the existing school for Nursery-year 4. The rationale for this change of use is sound. The record of students who graduate from Ebenezer Trust School and then enrol in government secondary schools indicates in general, their grades and their behaviour deteriorate.  For example of the 10 girls who have moved to government secondary schools 8 have become pregnant. Also one of he top boys in the Ebenezer Trust School started and continues to drink since attending a government secondary school. He is also failing his exams. District Education Board Secretary and other Department of Education staff confirm the general pattern of behaviour, high drop out rates, and low grades in government schools. They also confirm many girls become pregnant. The Joint Working Group is still accessing the feasibility of this proposal.

Grant Aided Status with Ministry of Education.
There is strong support for the construction of the primary plus secondary school from stakeholders. Both Livingstone City Council and Department of Education District Planning Section are keen to help in anyway they can.

The Board has approved a student enrolment of up to 40 per cent paying students. There is not only a financial benefit in having paying students, there is also a considerable social benefit. By having a mixed student population the stigma of vulnerable and orphaned children is reduced. These children will also develop social networks and connections within the wider community, which will provide them with greater support and opportunities post secondary school.

The construction of the school will involve disadvantaged and vulnerable youth through the involvement of Youth Community Training Centre. YCTC will work with ECCT and the builders to organise work placements in plumbing and metalwork, bricklaying and plastering, carpentry and joinery and in power electrical.

The project is almost at a standstill after Ranji’s death. It is anticipated Ranji’s replacement, her daughter Jeevani Perera, will be in place as Director within a month or so and things will be set in motion once more.

Chris R-S gave a very appreciative vote of thanks.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
9th December
Maleny Street Carnival

14th December
Club Christmas Party at Bill and Marlene Hankinson's.

21st December
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Molly Beckman who is our Outbound Exchange Student.

28th December
No meeting.

4th January
No Meeting

11th January
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

18th January
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Des Harms on Onsite Sewerage.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR DECEMBER
6th Chris & Jocelyn  12th Jim & Elaine Roly and Kerry Neiper 17th Lionel & Judy

BIRTHDAYS FOR DECEMBER
11th Jim Atkinson  15th Robin Thorne


AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
A POLITICAL PERSPECTIVE

This little gem was printed in the "Federal Gallery" the journal of the "Association of Former Members of the Parliament of Australia."

The Joy of Committees

Oh! give me your pity, I'm on a committee,
Which from morning to night
We attend and amend, contend and defend,
Without a conclusion in sight.

We confer and concur, we defer and demur,
And reiterate all of our thoughts,
We revise the agenda and frequent addenda,
And consider a load of reports.

We compose and propose, we suppose and oppose,
And points of procedure are fun;
But though various notions are brought up as motions,
There's terribly little gets done.

We resolve and absolve, but we never dissolve,
Since it's out of the question for us.
What a shattering pity to end our committee,
Where else could we make such a fuss.

(Author Unknown)




                    AND PREMATURELY IT TURNS OUT





 
      




Friday, 11 November 2016

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 16th November 2016

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 58 No.10
WEDNESDAY 16TH NOVEMBER 2016

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker our own Dr CL Claridge on her visit to Ebenezer.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS                       
                               16th Nov        7th Dec            21st Dec                
Duty Officer            Phillip S         Malcolm B        Jim A                     
Assist DO               Chris R-S       Mike G            Chris B                      
Registration            Sherryl G       Ric T                Bill H
Fellowship              Bernice McL  John W            Roly N     
        
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
19th November
Lionel Tilley  (Leader)  John and Bernice McLennan

3rd December
Jim Atkinson  (Leader)  Chris Ross-Smith  Angela Griffin

17th December
Bill Hankinson  (Leader)  Keith Rogers  Andy Shouteten   

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
- Attendance & Apologies
- Minutes of previous meeting held 26th October 2016
- Business arising from meeting
  Confirm attendance at Christmas Party
- Financial report-all funds accounted for on Treasurer Jim's return from an overseas break.  Melbourne Cup Function very successful.Close to $7,000.Full report next Meeting.
- General business
  Bernice raise opportunity of having our Christmas party on 14/12/2016 at Bill Hankinson's.        
- Next meeting Date –Directors meeting 9/11/2016
- Close

Our Guest Speaker was Wendy Rosenfeldt on Transcendental Meditation & Ayurvedic Health.
She listed and explained the 8 benefits of Transcendental Meditation.  These are:
1.Success
2.Health
3.Energy
4.Resilience
5.Brain power
6.Clarity
7.Creativity
8.Happiness
We enjoyed the presentation and how these 8 points were drawn out and shared.  A copy of her Power Point presentation is attached to the bulletin notice.

MELBOURNE CUP LUNCH
We are indebted to Ric T for the following post on the Maleny Locals Helping Locals Facebook page:
 

The Rotary Club of Maleny's Melbourne Cup Day raised quite a few thousand dollars for The Blackall Range Care Group and The Maleny Neighbourhood
 Centre... and some local individuals had a win as well... :-)
 ...well done Nicole

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
23rd November
Masonic Hall at 5:30 for 6:00pm for Club Assembly and Annual General Meeting.

29th November
Rotary Foundation Centennial Dinner at Eatons Hill.

2nd December
Carols by candlelight

7th December
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Rae Guyder on Interplast.

9th December
Maleny Street Carnival

14th December 
Club Christmas Party at Bill and Marlene Hankinson’s.

21st December
TBA

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY FOR NOVEMBER
12th Ric and Jacinta  19th Mike and Sherryl

BIRTHDAYS FOR NOVEMBER
2nd Sherryl Gregory  4th Elaine Atkinson  11th Ric Townsend  25th Bill Hankinson 

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
A WARNING TO THE NEXT GENERATION



Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.

“Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?” I asked.

Her talking about my  "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me", she said and suggested that I go down to the Senior Centre and hang out with the  gals.

I did this and when I  got home last night, I decided to play a prank on her.

I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a Parachute Club.

She replied, "Are you nuts? You are 78 years old and now you're going to start jumping out of  airplanes?"

I told her that I even got a Membership  Card and e-mailed a copy to her.

She immediately telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Mum, where are  your glasses?!"

"This is a Membership to a  Prostitute Club, not a Parachute  Club."

"Oh man, I'm in trouble again,” I said,  “I really don't know what to do. I signed up for five jumps a week!!"

The line went quiet and her friend  picked up the phone and said that my daughter had fainted.


Life as a Senior  Citizen is not getting any easier, but sometimes it can be ever so much fun.  


Friday, 28 October 2016

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 2nd November 2016

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 58 No.9
WEDNESDAY 2ND NOVEMBER 2016

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Wendy Rosenfeldt on TM & Ayurvedic Health.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS                       
                                 2nd Nov           16th Nov               7th Dec                
Duty Officer             CL C                 Phillip S               Malcolm B                     
Assist DO                Alan W              Chris R-S             Mike G                   
Registration             Bernice McL     Sherryl G              Ric T
Fellowship               John McL          Bernice McL        John W     
        
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
5th November
Phillip Stark  (Leader)  Roly Neiper  Ric Vickers

19th November
Lionel Tilley  (Leader)  John and Bernice McLennan

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
Our guest speaker October was Michael Gillies from the Department of Environment with the Sunshine Coast Regional Council who is heading the Mary Cairncross Scenic Reserve Building Renewal.  Michael acknowledged the long involvement of Maleny Rotary with the Mary Cairncross Reserve which started with the very early days when the land was first made available by the Thynne family, and continues to this day.

The building renewal is a $4.5 million project funded jointly by the SSC Council and the Queensland Government. It will combine the café with an educational/discovery centre and a 150 metre walk area which will take visitors into the park and link the café with the discovery centre.

Currently there are over 260,000 visitors to the reserve each year and it is anticipated that this will increase quickly with the new building development. The main driver of the redevelopment was to improve the educational facility for those visitors who do not take the walks through the reserve. The new educational facilities will utilise modern technology made up of interactive visual displays and with limited text to read. It is hoped that displays will be changed every three months.

Planning for the redevelopment started about ten years ago with wide consultation on what would be required in a new facility. Actual work commenced slowly in April 2016, with the relocation of flora and fauna away from the building site, even the rats and echinococcus. Over 20 endangered species were relocated into the reserve. Fortunately, only one tree had to be removed to accommodate the building and walk way.

Michael showed the meeting a considerable number of pictures of the artist impressions of the new building, which will be two stories with café on the bottom and the educational centre on the top level overlooking the Glass House Mountains. It will be a modern structure but designed to tone in with the natural environment with time. Visitors will enter through two large wooden doors made of cedar. Epiphytes will be encouraged to grow on the exterior of the building to help blend it in with the natural features of the reserve.

It is estimated the project will be completed by mid 2017, possibly earlier around Easter. Interested parties will be invited to inspect the redevelopment which may provide Rotary with a chance of a preview.

Roly gave a vote of thanks for this presentation.

CHARITY CRICKET MATCH
The Club was mentioned (in glowing terms) quite a few times during that day. The donation was much appreciated. Not sure about the proud owners of the duck trophies being reminded why they won them.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
16th November
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker our own Dr CL Claridge on her visit to Ebenezer.

23rd November
Masonic Hall at 5:50 for 6:00pm for Club Assembly and Annual General Meeting.

29th November
Rotary Foundation Centennial Dinner at Eatons Hill.

30th November
Meeting cancelled.

7th December
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Rae Guyder on Interplast.

14th December
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY FOR NOVEMBER
19th Mike and Sherryl

BIRTHDAYS FOR NOVEMBER
2nd Sherryl Gregory  4th Elaine Atkinson  11th Ric Townsend  25th Bill Hankinson 

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
A CAUTIONARY TALE ABOUT A VISIT TO A VET

YOUR DUCK IS DEAD

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out her stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook her head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled her eyes, turned around and left the room. She returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.

He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later she returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to her computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which she handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.

  "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

 


Friday, 7 October 2016

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 19th October 2016

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 58 No.8
WEDNESDAY 19TH OCTOBER 2016

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Michael Gilles with an MCSR update.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                       
                               19th Oct         2nd Nov             16th Nov                 
Duty Officer            Andy S           CL C                  Phillip S                     
Assist DO              Roly N             Alan W              Chris R-S                      
Registration           Malcolm B      Bernice McL      Sherryl G
Fellowship             Keith R           John McL           Bernice McL     
        
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
22nd October
Mike & Sherryl Gregory (Leader)  Andy Shouteten

5th November
Phillip Stark  (Leader)  Roly Neiper  Ric Vickers

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
A near full house of members enjoyed a lively meeting on Wednesday and had the pleasure of welcoming Greg Williams of MDRSC, a replacement for Mike Norman, former President of MDSRC, who was in the throws of relocating to the Gold Coast.

An unexpected treat was a short story from Chris Brooker about the origins of the iconic Rotary Bridge over the Obi Creek, which sadly had been demolished that day having fallen into disrepair - see below.  Though replaced with a smart new bridge it is sad to see the old icon gone.

Various fines were administered by the Sergeant, including CL, who was celebrating her birthday; Bernice seemingly cat napping during last week’s meeting; Alan managing to con Bill into transporting his redundant kitchen from Bribie Island to the Historical Society’s premises for future pot boiling; Sherryl’s upcoming 50th High School Reunion – she looks too young; and the Scribe for peeping at two pythons getting very friendly in the Obi Creek one springtime morning.
 
Announcements included – the need for 4/5 volunteers to help with car parking for the opening of the Beersheba Museum on 29 October; that SSCC had announced intentions to rezone to community use, the land at the corner of McCarthy Road used by the Historical Society and the Men’s Shed etc.

Greg Williams gave an excellent presentation updating the Club on the development of the Maleny Precinct so far and future plans, with special reference to the unique Beersheba Museum commemorating the Light Horse regiments that bravely fought in WW1 and WW2 due to be opened on 29 October. The Museum building, which would be the home of the 5th Light Horse Troop in Maleny , would also be available for community groups.  A new extension was to be constructed for the Bridge Club together with a large car park. To expand the activities the horsey community had plans for “Eventing” events and the establishment of a cross country horse trail.
 
Greg also reported that the Golf Club had just got permission for the extension of the course to 18 holes. Greg finished by formally acknowledging the financial support of the Club for the Museum, which had come at a critical time when extra funds were needed to undertake the internal fit out of the new building; and then asking for volunteers to help with the painting of the inside of the building.  He kindly presented the Club with a Certificate of Appreciation.

President Jeff thanked Greg for the excellent talk and presented him with some Rotary literature and the Club’s unique Maleny Platypus bag.

ROTARY INFORMATION
Chris Brooker spoke of the history of the Rotary Bridge.  In early Maleny, access to the Showgrounds was from the other side of the Obi Obi creek by a log placed over the creek.  It is believed that the original log came from Cork's property in Reesville.  This state of affairs carried on until the early 1990s when Rotary decided to sponsor a bridge across the creek.  The original idea came from Winston Johnson who was tied up with the Show  Society and just out of Council.  Winston reports that he was in Orange NSW and saw a bridge in a park down there, took some photos, showed them to Lloyd Larney, who was our President at the time, and it was away.

The bridge was designed by Tom Moodie, a structural engineer and RSL member, built by Hoopers Engineering in Montville, transported to Maleny by semitrailer and lifted into place by George Moffat's crane. Not a big crane, only truck mounted.  The bridge fitted to a millimeter.

Jill Jordan who was local Councillor at that time attempted to get Council to fund the bridge but failed. So Rotary completely funded the bridge from the drawing up of plans to completion.  Rotary members and other volunteers set up the earthworks, placed the bridge in position and painted it.  At a later date, Council funded the walkway to the bridge.  A subsequent project in the mid 90's, using"work for the dole", provided the broadwalk from Coral Street to the Showgrounds.  If the bridge had not been built, the broadwalk would not be there today - another thing for which to thank Rotary.  Also when the broadwalk needed maintenance, Rotary played its part in clearing and weeding a section.

PP LLoyd and members in 2015

In 2004, Lloyd Larney was chosen as Caloundra City Council Citizen of the Year to honour his achievements as a volunteer.

Unfortunately over the years, age and rust contributed to making the bridge unsafe and Council eventually decided to replace it.  The new one cost about
$300,000 but does not have anywhere near the charm and charisma of the original.  Recently Maleny Golf Club applied to have the old bridge given to them
to be placed over a culvert. Council was happy with the idea.  However when the Golf Club arranged for an engineer to inspect the bridge, unfortunately it was found that the progress of the rust had rendered it beyond economic repair.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
26th October
Masonic Hall at 5:50 for 6:00pm for Club Assembly with nibbles.

2nd November
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Wendy Rosenfeldt on TM & Ayurvedic Health.

9th November
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

16th November
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker our own Dr CL Claridge on her visit to Ebenezer.

23rd November
Masonic Hall at 5:50 for 6:00pm for Club Assembly with nibbles.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY FOR OCTOBER
26th Rick and Cilla

BIRTHDAYS FOR OCTOBER
12th Gloria Rogers  14th Keith Rogers  16th Kerry Neiper  28th Bernice McLennan  30th Andy Schouteten 

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
TRAVELLING CAN BE GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH
SOME OF THE BENEFITS OF AIR TRAVEL


 
December 2015 Statistics On Airport Full Body Screening:

Terrorists Discovered        0

Transvestites                  133

Hernias                       1,485

Hemorrhoid Cases      3,172

Enlarged Prostates      8,249

Breast Implants         59,350

Natural Blondes                 3