Thursday, 23 April 2015

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 29th April 2015

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 20


Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm to award Rotary Community Grants.

Please tender apologies to President Ric by noon Tuesday.

                               29 Apr            6 May               20 May        
Duty Officer          John W           Michael G         USC Meeting     

ADO & Scribe       Keith R          Sherryl G

Registration          Chris R-S       Bernice McL           

Fellowship             Ric T              John McL
9th May
Lionel T (Leader)   Robin T   John W

23rd May
Malcolm B (Leader)   Philip S   Rick V

President Ric welcomed guests Steve Miskin from the RC of Home Hill, our ADG Ian Hope from Glasshouse and, after prompting, CL Claridge who had visited us previously.

We were given reminders of the upcoming events including the District Conference on Bribie Island 2/3 May, the help needed with the Interact sausage sizzle at Bunnings and the cross country running event at the precinct both on 26th of April. The recently held garage sale at the Baptist Church was a bit of a fizzer, netting only $200 while Jim and Elaine managed private sales of $180 (less the $40 fee gives a profit of $160 according to Jim – go figure). Show rosters were circulated, a reminder of the USC Combined Rotary Meeting on 20th May, a letter from our sponsored Ebenezer student Kenedi Lucas brought us up to date on his achievements & Jeff C mentioned a forthcoming Rotary tour to South Africa. Lionel called for help in distributing flyers advertising BowelScan.

President Ric announced that the Board had agreed to make the following grants to local community organisations:
* Art for Space/Golf Club $1600 to be used for seating & art on the precinct walk. The Golf Club will pay for public seating on their grounds, our funds will be used for the general public seating.
* Croquet Club $1000 for the purchase of lightweight mallets and balls to enable elderly, youth and handicapped people to play.
* Friends of the Library $960 for the purchase of 6 CD/DVD/MP3 readers to enable Erowal Aged Care Facility patients to listen to ebooks.
* Pattemore Historic House $1000 to purchase foldaway outdoor furniture to be used on the verandas during functions.
* Neighbourhood Centre $1000 for mental health awareness training for centre volunteers.
* International Day Against Homophobia Event – $1000 to help with the running a public awareness /education event.
* TS Centaur $450 to pay for cadets to attend an outdoor survival course.
* Maleny Players $960 to assist financially the placement of two students at the Maleny Youth Theatre Classes.

These projects will attract District Grant funding of 50%. Representatives of the successful applicants of the scheme to be invited to our meeting on 29th April when they will be presented with cheques.

Heads and tails was won by Chris Ross-Smith and Chris B managed to extract funds from all in attendance through some amusing although not quite truthful stories. Has an amazing imagination does our Chris.

"The Opal Cutter” was the theme of the talk by our guest speaker Barbara Lamont who was ably assisted by Edi Heide.

As a young adventurer Barbara arrived in Australia in 1982 and ventured forth to the opal fields of Coober Pedy as she wanted to see people living underground. Her initial short sojourn turned into a 26 year odyssey, having married a local miner 2 months after arriving. The time spent in Coober was one of many trials and tribulations with the ever hopeful thought of striking it rich ‘next day’. Her skills evolved over the period from hand digging pits to developing tunnelling machinery and vacuum lifts for rock to being the ‘powder monkey’ for the blasting operations (shooting).
In 1990 she expanded her operations by opening a cutting and designing shop in Coober which proved a very satisfying venture, being recognised as once of the best. A move in 2008 to a mining lease in Bolder near Cunnamulla saw several years once again scrabbling for a living but enjoying it. A recent move to Montville (retirement?) to open an opal jewellery shop is proving successful and finally no more digging holes in the ground.

Barbara was thanked by Lionel T. and presented with a calendar and copy of ‘Humanity in Motion’.

President Ric thanked everyone and said go home, so we did.

6th May
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Michael Wearing on Mens' House.

13th May
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

20th May
Combined Clubs meeting at USC for Rotary Scholarship Awards - Partners welcome.

27th May
Project Meeting at the Masonic Hall with $10 meal.

29&30th May
Maleny Show.

24th June
Changeover Dinner.

1st Nancy Baker  4th Phillip Stark  12th Chris Brooker  23rd John McLennan  27th Chris Ross Smith & John Whan

6th Lloyd & Shirley Larney  13th Jeff & Jan Cornfoot  26th Bill & Marlene Hankinson


Wife - "Where the hell have you been?  You said you'd be done with golf by noon!"

Husband - “I'm so sorry, Honey, but you probably don't want to hear the reason."

Wife - "I want the truth, and I want it NOW"

Husband “Fine.  We finished in less than 4 hours, quick beer in the Clubhouse; I hopped in the car, and would have been here at 12 on the button.   On the way home, I spotted a girl half our age struggling with a flat tyre.  I changed it in a jiffy, and next she's offering me money.  Of course, I refuse it - then she tells me she was headed to the bar at the Sheraton - and begs me to stop so she can buy me a beer.

She's such a sweetie, I said yes.  Before you know it, one beer turned to three or four and I guess we were looking pretty good to each other.  Then she tells me she has a room at the Sheraton less than 50 steps from our table.

She suggested we get some privacy while pulling me by the hand.  Now I'm in her room, clothes are flying, the talking stopped and we proceeded to have sex in every way imaginable.

It must have gone on for hours, because before I know it the clock says 5:30.  I jumped up, threw my clothes on, ran to the car, and here I am.  There. You wanted the truth, you got it."

Wife - "What complete and utter baloney!! You played 36 holes, didn't you?"

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