Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 21st December 2016

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 58 No.12
WEDNESDAY 21ST DECEMBER 2016

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Molly Beckman who is our Outbound Exchange Student.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS                       
                               21st Dec                
Duty Officer            Jim A                     
Assist DO               Chris B                      
Registration            Bill H
Fellowship              Roly N     
        
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
31st December
Jeff Cornfoot  (Leader)  Malcolm Baker  Roly Neiper

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
LT reported that there has been a significant downturn in the uptake of bowel scan kits and many Rotary Clubs have pulled out because it conflicts with the Government program; we will use up our present stock in 2017 and that will be our last year.

Some proceeds from the carols night would go to the Neighbourhood Centre,  a reminder that the street carnival is on this Friday and rosters confirmed, and general discussion on Uniting Church Xmas Tree setting up and theme.

MM advised us of Ray White’s ‘Little Ray of Giving’ initiative – full details can be found in the current Hinterland Times.

MB introduced our guest speaker, Rae Guyder, a registered theatre nurse, member of the Rotary Club of Bribie Island and the District Chairman for Interplast.  She has a special interest in community health and is passionate about her role in promoting the work if Interplast which was established in 1983 through collaboration between Rotary and the Royal Australian College of Surgeons. 

Rotary is represented on the Board, the objective is “Repairing Bodies,  Rebuilding Lives” in developing countries and teams consist of volunteer surgeons,  anaesthetists, nurses and allied health professionals to provide free life changing reconstructive surgery and medical training.  The volunteers restore function and hope to people affected by burns, tumours, hand and foot injuries, congenital abnormalities and more, while training programs give local professionals the skills they need to treat these conditions. 

The first program was conducted by a team of just three in Fiji and now Interplast operates across the whole Asia Pacific region, delivering dozens of surgical and training programs each year.  800+ programs have been delivered, more than 23,000 life changing surgeries accomplished, and more than 40,000 patient consultations held.  Only plastic and reconstructive surgery (ie no cosmetic) is performed and sustainability is achieved through training and capacity building of in country partners.  Teams are invited by participating countries, are made up of required specialists, and need around 300kg of equipment.
 
Interplast is fully accredited with DFAT and each program costs around $45,000 so funding is always needed.  It’s impact extends far beyond any individual patient.  By providing hundreds of educational opportunities each year they change the futures of medical trainees who otherwise may never have had the chance to learn certain skills and techniques and the volunteers themselves hone their skills treating conditions that are rarely seen at home.
  
MG thanked Rae for her informative presentation, mentioned our years of involvement with the “Helping Children Smile Program” and presented her with the iconic Maleny Rotary bag, calendar, history, and Humanity in Motion. 

CHRISTMAS PARTY
Sincere thanks to Bill and Marlene for their kindness in hosting this successful event and congratulations to all the organisers involved.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
28th December
No meeting.

4th January
No Meeting

11th January
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

18th January
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Des Harms on Onsite Sewerage.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR DECEMBER
6th Chris & Jocelyn  12th Jim & Elaine Roly and Kerry Neiper 17th Lionel & Judy

BIRTHDAYS FOR DECEMBER
11th Jim Atkinson  15th Robin Thorne

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
POSSIBLE NEW YEAR RESOLUTION
SHOULD I REALLY JOIN FACEBOOK?

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Face Book and Twitter.
  
I signed up under duress for Twitter and Face Book, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way.  I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation.  I am not ready to live like this.  I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.



The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library.  I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Bluetooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive.  I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble, talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me.  I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time.
 
Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating."  You would think that she could be nicer.  It was like she could barely tolerate me.  She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light.  Then, if I made a right turn instead.  Well, it was not a good relationship...

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house.  We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me.  They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store.  You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop.  I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me!

Now I toss it back to them.  When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?"  I just say, "Doesn't matter to me.  I am bi-sacksual."  Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. 

I was recently asked if I tweet.  I answered, "No, but I do fart a lot."

P.S.  I know some of you are not over 60.  I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are.  I figured your sense of humour could handle it.

We senior citizens don't need any more gadgets.  The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.

A HAPPY, PEACEFUL AND SUCCESSFUL NEW YEAR TO ALL.