WEDNESDAY 1ST MARCH 2017
THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Julia Peddie (CHASM) on Housing Affordability.
APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.
DUTY ROSTERS
1st Mar 15th Mar 5th April
Duty Officer Roly N CL Claridge Michael G
Assist DO Phillip S Angela G Sherryl G
Registration John McL Lionel T Phillip S
Fellowship Bill H John Whan Alan W
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
11th March
Jeff Cornfoot (Leader) Roly Neiper Keith Rogers
25th March
Chris R-S (Leader) Angela Griffin John Whan
MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
President Jeff was warmly welcomed back after his fundraising motorbike ride in Rotary District 3181 where he and his “international biker gang” had been welcomed and hosted royally by local Rotarians. $50,000 was raised for TRF and each rider was recognised with a Paul Harris Fellowship.
Our Club toasted District 3181, which has 2000 Rotarians and President Jeff presented glamorous banners from the Indian clubs.
Back in work and chairing mode, President Jeff welcomed our guest speaker Helen Walker and other guests; reminded members of DIK commitment on 4 March; District Assembly on 19 Feb (6 attending); MCSR opening when Chris Brooker would represent the Club; Romac Trivia Night fund raiser.
Chris Brooker reported on: 29 March working bee for harvesting bike parts for recycling into wheelchairs by Surfers Sunrise Club; Panel decisions on Club Community Grants 2017 yet to be announced; possible project for lockers for the High School; Date Claimer of 1 July for parking duties at Muscle on the Mountain; and Hospital Auxiliary project for special beds for Maleny Hosp.
Phillip Stark spruiked the get together at the RSL on Sunday 26 Feb to meet invitees who might be interested in Rotary. Members welcome.
Alan Wilson reported he was home hosting a representative from St Jude’s Orphanage who would be speaking at the District Conference; and also the idea for support for a Rotary Community Corps in Popondetta PNG, sponsored by Maleny and Boroko in PNG.
Jim reported that testing of extension of sausage sizzle by 1 hour had not increased sales.
Chris Brooker encouraged donations from Melinda (attacked by wasps, poor thing when she tried to nick – no pick! a lime at an open home); Malcolm’s operation; Alan taking a nap in the pub; Ric’s haircut; Keith’s forlorn attempts at rentacrowd at the SS; Michael Gregory’s out of date Rotary shirt; President Jeff for visiting the romantic Taj Majal without his wife!
Helen Walker was welcomed back to the Club to share her experiences as the only nurse for Australian citizens on remote Australian Territory Islands – this time the Cocos Islands, off the West coast of Western Australia - 950 kms from Christmas Island. Travel is by Virgin Air twice a week from Perth when weather permitted. The Islands consist of twenty-seven tiny coral islands surrounding two atolls – Home Island and West Island with a population of 450 individuals of mainly Malay Muslim heritage and 150 ex pats who provide services for the Islands including teachers for the one High School. In addition to the health clinic there is an excellent dental clinic run by a Cocos Malay dentist. Helen compared this to Torres Strait Islands where there was no dentist and the population suffered. Helen felt that because of the high standard of dental hygiene that maybe the population on Cocos were resistant to rheumatic fever, which by contrast was common in the Torres Straight Islands.
The Islanders earned income from tourism to these remote and peaceful islands through activities such as kite and wind surfing, tours and birdwatching, sailing etc. Other income comes from export of coconut, which could be expanded with help, though it is subject to a tariff set by the Australian Government. New businesses would be welcomed to provide employment and enterprise opportunities for the population who live in peace and harmony together in what Helen describes as paradise.
Angela proposed the vote of thanks.
FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
4th March
Working bee at DIK - bus leaves Landsborough Station at 0830h.
8th March
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.
15th March
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Ken Wishaw on Light Pollution.
22nd March
Club Assembly at the Masonic Centre now cancelled.
23rd March
RSL at 6:30 for 7:00pm for the Club's 2017 Community Grants Awards - Partners Night.
26th March
Bikes to Wheelchairs at the Maleny Showgrounds.
29th March
TBC
BIRTHDAYS FOR MARCH
5th Judy Tilley 26th Rick Vickers
WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR MARCH
6th John & Beth Wann 22nd Peter and Kay Wilkinson
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
HOW MANY OF YOU KNOW WHAT A PARAPROSDOKIAN IS?
A paraprosdokian (/pærəprɒsˈdoʊkiən/) is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence, phrase, or larger discourse is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part.
Examples of paraprosdokian Wisdom
· If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.
· I find it ironic that the colours red, white, and blue stand for freedom - until they’re flashing behind you.
· Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
· Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
· I’m great at multi-tasking — I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
· If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
· Take my advice — I'm not using it.
· My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.
· Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they’re at home when you wish they were.
· Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
· Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
· Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
· He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
· Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?
· I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
· Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
· I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn’t find it.
· If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
· Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let him sleep.
· If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
· Money is the root of all wealth.
· No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
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