Sunday, 30 July 2017

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 2nd August 2017

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 59 No.2
WEDNESDAY 2nd August 2017

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Judy Stubbs on QCWA Healthy Catering.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday 1st.

DUTY ROSTERS                       
                          2nd August      16th August      6th September                  
Duty Officer      Jim A                John W              Roly N                      
Assist DO         Jeff C                Michael G          Angela G                                  
Registration      Malcolm B        Robin H             Lionel T  
Fellowship        Melinda M        David F              Jeff C            

SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
12th August
Malcolm Baker (Leader)  Lionel Tilley  Phillip Stark

26th August
Chris Brooker  (Leader)  Angela Griffin  John Whan   

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
President Alan welcomed past and present members, partners and our Guest Speaker Dr Jon Outridge. 

He said that the vision of being "A Vibrant Club" would be discussed at next week's Club Assembly.

Bernice reported that the voluntary work for the Velothon was successful.

Dr Jon Outridge spoke of his past in medical practice in Maleny before talking about the Royal Flying Doctor Service and his work from their Charleville base.
The Reverend John Flynn had worked in rural and remote areas of Victoria and was commissioned by the Presbyterian Church to look at the needs of Outback people. His report to the Presbyterian Assembly in 1912 resulted in the establishment of the Australian Inland Mission (AIM), of which he was appointed Superintendent. In 1928, he formed the AIM Aerial Medical Service, a one-year experiment based in Cloncurry, Queensland.   This experiment later became The Royal Flying Doctor Service.

The RFDS Charleville Base commenced operations in 1943. Services provided from this base include medical chests, remote medical consultations, aeromedical retrievals and primary health care clinics incorporating general practice, child and family health, health promotion and field days. The Charleville Base services approximately 622,000 square kilometres of southwest Queensland - an area almost the size of the United Kingdom - extending from the New South Walesborder to the Northern Territory and South Australia borders in the west, and the Carnarvon Ranges in the east. The base operates a single plane fitted with two stretchers and other medical equipment. To the uninitiated it was amazing how thinly spread were general medical facilities within that area.

With a series of excellent slides, Jon's presentation covered the above topics in detail as well as showing pictures of the country over which he flew. 

There was a lively question and answer session before Roly gave a vote of thanks.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
9th August
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

16th August
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Susan Griffith on SafeTalk (Lifeline).

23rd August
Masonic Hall at 5:30 for 6:00pm for Club Assembly.

30th August
TBA

6th September
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Russ Stephenson on Malnutrition in PNG.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR AUGUST
15th  Phillip and Janice Stark  29th Angela and Mike

BIRTHDAYS FOR AUGUST
17th Malcolm Baker  20th Jocelyn Brooker  28th Mary Wilson and Lionel Tilley

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
CRYSTAL BALL GAZING
IS THIS WHERE WE ARE HEADING?

- Hello! Is that Gordon's pizza?

- No sir this is Google's pizza.

- Sorry, I must have dialed a wrong number --

- No sir, Google bought out Gordon's Pizza a short while ago.

- OK. Take my order please.

- OK sir, would you like your usual?"

- The usual? You know me?

- According to our caller-ID database, your last 12 orders were for pizza with cheese and sausage toppings, thick crust and crisp.

- OK! That's it...

- May I suggest this time you add ricotta, rocket with dry tomato toppings?

- What? I hate vegetables.

- Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

- How do you know that?

- We cross-matched your phone number with your name and your online medical portal. We have the result of your blood tests for the past 7 years.

- Okay, but I do not want those toppings, I already take medicine ...

- Excuse me, but you have not taken your medicine regularly. We can see from our database, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 cholesterol tablets at CVS.

- I bought more from another pharmacy.

- Such a transaction is not showing in your credit card account.

- I paid in cash.

- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your recent bank statement.

- I have another source of cash.

- That is not showing as per your latest tax return unless you obtained it from an undeclared income source.

- WHAT THE.....

- "I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the intention of helping you.

- Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to spy on me.

- I understand sir, but you'll need to renew your passport first as it expired 6 weeks ago!





1 comment:

  1. Excellent thank you Keith ...and I love the joke :-)

    ReplyDelete