Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 15th August 2018

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 60 No.4
WEDNESDAY 15TH AUGUST 2018

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speakers our own Laurelle Owen and Peter McGuirk.

APOLOGIES AND MEALS
RSVP to Bernice before noon on Tuesday 14th. Please ensure that your meal order is lodged by 6:45pm at the meeting.

DUTY ROSTERS                
                          15th August    5th September  19th September       
Duty Officer       Chris R-S       Jeff C                 Chris B          
Assist DO          Lionel T          Bernice McL      Peter McG     
Registration       John McL       Andy S               John McL     
Fellowship         Andy S           Keith R              Greg W

SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
25th August
Lionel Tilley (Leader)  Chris Ross-Smith  Bill Hankinson

8th September
John & Bernice McLennan (Leader)  Peter McGuirk

22nd September
Jeff Cornfoot (Leader)  John Whan  Greg Williams

CLUB ORGANISATION
Details of the make up of the currrent Board and Committees can be found at the end of this bulletin.

MEETING OF 1ST AUGUST
President Alan opened the meeting with a general welcome to members and a special welcome to our guest speaker Roslyn Leslie from Wildlife Volunteers Association (WILVOS) as well as Paulette Steele who was becoming a member.

Rick Vickers took charge of Paulette's induction and she was greeted by a standing ovation from those present.

Chris Brooker reported that he had sufficient volunteers for parking at the Cross Country on 4th August.  The attached photograph shows how successful his team was on that day.



However the National Championships to be held on 25th August is a much bigger and will require all hands on deck.

Bernice is looking for volunteers for marshalling a charity bike ride on 6th October which aims to raise funds for Care Flight.

The Sergeant then made another set of fanciful allegations for the benefit of Club funds.

Following a brief interlude coffee/tea we had the pleasure of a talk by Roslyn Leslie. Roslyn is one of 290 volunteers for WILVOS in SE Queensland.  She explained the WILVOS charter and their role in helping to rescue injured wildlife and return them safely back to their natural habitat. Roslyn showed us all the best techniques to rescue wildlife with her various first aid items carried in the car, including ice cream bucket, pouches, towel or sack and the use of a goon sack, which we all had a laugh.

The talk was very interesting and we all took away some tips. For anyone wanting to volunteer, its easy as you are just on call once a month.

Melinda gave a warm vote of thanks.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
22nd August
Masonic Hall at 5:30pm for Club Assembly.

29th August
TBC

5th September
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Anthea Maas on RYLA.

12th September     
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

19th September
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm for DG visit - Partners Night.

26th September
Masonic Hall at 5:30pm for AGM.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR AUGUST
15th  Phillip and Janice Stark  29th Angela and Mike

BIRTHDAYS FOR AUGUST
17th Malcolm Baker  20th Jocelyn Brooker  28th Mary Wilson and Lionel Tilley
 
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
VOLUNTEERING - A CAUTIONARY TALE

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunk stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

“Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3:00 in the morning!”

He slams the door and returns to bed.

“Who was that?” asked his wife.

“Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he answers.

“Did you help him?” she asks.

“No, I did not, it’s 3am in the morning and it’s pouring rain out there!”

“Well, you have a short memory,” says his wife. “Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

“God loves drunk people too you know.”

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain.

He calls out into the dark, “Hello, are you still there?”

“Yes,” comes back the answer.

“Do you still need a push?” calls out the husband.

“Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.

“Where are you?” asks the husband.

“Over  here  on  the  swing,” replied  the  drunk.   

 

MALENY ROTARY CLUB EXECUTIVE TEAM FOR 2018-2019
BOARD MEMBERS
 President  -   Alan Wilson
Vice President  - Michael Gregory
Secretary  - Bernice McLennan
Treasurer  -  Jim Atkinson
Vocational - Ric Townsend
Club Admininstration / Membership - Philip Stark  
International/Foundation - Angela Griffin/ CL Claridge
Community Relations/Youth - Greg Williams
Service Projects - Rick Vickers/Chris Ross-Smith
 
Other Roles
Minute Recorder - Lionel Tilley  
Guest Speakers  - Michael Gregory                                          
Bulletin Editor - Keith Rogers

MALENY ROTARY CLUB COMMITTEES   
1.Grants Committee            2.RAWCS - Ebenezer Zambia 
Confidential                         Angela Griffin
                                            CL Claridge
                                            Jim Atkinson
3.RAWCS-Nepal               
Chris Ross-Smith                4.Show Committee
Jim Atkinson                        Bernice McLennan
CL Claridge                         John McLennan
               
5.Social Committee             6.Calendar Committee
Phillip Stark                         Lionel Tilley
Roly Neiper                          Rick Vickers
                                            Jeff Cornfoot 
7.High School Project         Jim Atkinson  
Chris Brooker                         
Jeff Cornfoot                        
Greg Williams               

8.Membership/                     9.Qld Australian Cross Country Athletics Title
USC Project Committee       Rick Vickers
Phillip Stark                          Greg Williams
CL Claridge                           Chris Brooker
Angela Griffin
Roly Nieper                          10.Plan for Maleny Education Support Fund
Chris Ross-Smith                  Angela Griffin
                                              CL Claridge
                                               Roly Nieper   
                                               Jeff Cornfoot 

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 29th April 2015

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 20

WEDNESDAY 29TH APRIL 2015

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm to award Rotary Community Grants.

APOLOGIES
Please tender apologies to President Ric by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                               29 Apr            6 May               20 May        
                   
Duty Officer          John W           Michael G         USC Meeting     

ADO & Scribe       Keith R          Sherryl G

Registration          Chris R-S       Bernice McL           

Fellowship             Ric T              John McL
      
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
9th May
Lionel T (Leader)   Robin T   John W

23rd May
Malcolm B (Leader)   Philip S   Rick V

MINUTES OF MEETING OF 15TH APRIL
President Ric welcomed guests Steve Miskin from the RC of Home Hill, our ADG Ian Hope from Glasshouse and, after prompting, CL Claridge who had visited us previously.

We were given reminders of the upcoming events including the District Conference on Bribie Island 2/3 May, the help needed with the Interact sausage sizzle at Bunnings and the cross country running event at the precinct both on 26th of April. The recently held garage sale at the Baptist Church was a bit of a fizzer, netting only $200 while Jim and Elaine managed private sales of $180 (less the $40 fee gives a profit of $160 according to Jim – go figure). Show rosters were circulated, a reminder of the USC Combined Rotary Meeting on 20th May, a letter from our sponsored Ebenezer student Kenedi Lucas brought us up to date on his achievements & Jeff C mentioned a forthcoming Rotary tour to South Africa. Lionel called for help in distributing flyers advertising BowelScan.

President Ric announced that the Board had agreed to make the following grants to local community organisations:
* Art for Space/Golf Club $1600 to be used for seating & art on the precinct walk. The Golf Club will pay for public seating on their grounds, our funds will be used for the general public seating.
* Croquet Club $1000 for the purchase of lightweight mallets and balls to enable elderly, youth and handicapped people to play.
* Friends of the Library $960 for the purchase of 6 CD/DVD/MP3 readers to enable Erowal Aged Care Facility patients to listen to ebooks.
* Pattemore Historic House $1000 to purchase foldaway outdoor furniture to be used on the verandas during functions.
* Neighbourhood Centre $1000 for mental health awareness training for centre volunteers.
* International Day Against Homophobia Event – $1000 to help with the running a public awareness /education event.
* TS Centaur $450 to pay for cadets to attend an outdoor survival course.
* Maleny Players $960 to assist financially the placement of two students at the Maleny Youth Theatre Classes.

These projects will attract District Grant funding of 50%. Representatives of the successful applicants of the scheme to be invited to our meeting on 29th April when they will be presented with cheques.

Heads and tails was won by Chris Ross-Smith and Chris B managed to extract funds from all in attendance through some amusing although not quite truthful stories. Has an amazing imagination does our Chris.

"The Opal Cutter” was the theme of the talk by our guest speaker Barbara Lamont who was ably assisted by Edi Heide.

As a young adventurer Barbara arrived in Australia in 1982 and ventured forth to the opal fields of Coober Pedy as she wanted to see people living underground. Her initial short sojourn turned into a 26 year odyssey, having married a local miner 2 months after arriving. The time spent in Coober was one of many trials and tribulations with the ever hopeful thought of striking it rich ‘next day’. Her skills evolved over the period from hand digging pits to developing tunnelling machinery and vacuum lifts for rock to being the ‘powder monkey’ for the blasting operations (shooting).

In 1990 she expanded her operations by opening a cutting and designing shop in Coober which proved a very satisfying venture, being recognised as once of the best. A move in 2008 to a mining lease in Bolder near Cunnamulla saw several years once again scrabbling for a living but enjoying it. A recent move to Montville (retirement?) to open an opal jewellery shop is proving successful and finally no more digging holes in the ground.

Barbara was thanked by Lionel T. and presented with a calendar and copy of ‘Humanity in Motion’.

President Ric thanked everyone and said go home, so we did.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
6th May
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Michael Wearing on Mens' House.

13th May
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

20th May
Combined Clubs meeting at USC for Rotary Scholarship Awards - Partners welcome.

27th May
Project Meeting at the Masonic Hall with $10 meal.

29&30th May
Maleny Show.

24th June
Changeover Dinner.

BIRTHDAYS FOR APRIL
1st Nancy Baker  4th Phillip Stark  12th Chris Brooker  23rd John McLennan  27th Chris Ross Smith & John Whan

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR APRIL
6th Lloyd & Shirley Larney  13th Jeff & Jan Cornfoot  26th Bill & Marlene Hankinson

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?"
A GOLFER'S CONFESSION

Wife - "Where the hell have you been?  You said you'd be done with golf by noon!"

Husband - “I'm so sorry, Honey, but you probably don't want to hear the reason."

Wife - "I want the truth, and I want it NOW"

Husband “Fine.  We finished in less than 4 hours, quick beer in the Clubhouse; I hopped in the car, and would have been here at 12 on the button.   On the way home, I spotted a girl half our age struggling with a flat tyre.  I changed it in a jiffy, and next she's offering me money.  Of course, I refuse it - then she tells me she was headed to the bar at the Sheraton - and begs me to stop so she can buy me a beer.

She's such a sweetie, I said yes.  Before you know it, one beer turned to three or four and I guess we were looking pretty good to each other.  Then she tells me she has a room at the Sheraton less than 50 steps from our table.

She suggested we get some privacy while pulling me by the hand.  Now I'm in her room, clothes are flying, the talking stopped and we proceeded to have sex in every way imaginable.

It must have gone on for hours, because before I know it the clock says 5:30.  I jumped up, threw my clothes on, ran to the car, and here I am.  There. You wanted the truth, you got it."

Wife - "What complete and utter baloney!! You played 36 holes, didn't you?"