Sunday, 1 April 2012

Maleny Rotary Bulletin Vol.53 No.37 for 4th April 2012

"THE RANGE" The Rotary Club of Maleny Inc Bulletin Vol. 53 No. 37

Wednesday 4th April 2012


Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:30pm with Guest Speaker Ivan Hankinson.


Please tender meal apologies to Geoff Coughlan by noon Tuesday.

                                          4 Apr          11 Apr                18 Apr

Duty Officer                      Karen B      John McL           Charlotte G      

Registration                      Angela G     Geoff C               Brian K

ADO & Scribe                  Andy S         Bernice McL       Debra L

Fellowship                       Jeff C           John W               Rick V


14th April
Brian Doyle (Leader)  Lionel Tilley  Chris Brooker  Ric Townsend

28th April
Malcolm Baker (Leader)  John Whan  Charlotte Golding  Karen Binstead


Meeting chaired by PDG Michael Gregory who welcomed the Guest Speaker Shane Peterson of Concept I.T. Systems and visiting Rotarian Kerry ? from the RC of Mackay.  She has been working as a librarian in the Solomon Islands; on her return to S.I she will visit libraries that have been established to make sure they are functioning properly.

PE Karen reported that the speakers at Conference were inspirational.

Bike Ed at Maleny State School has been cancelled due to a heavy school curriculum.

Shane Peterson spoke on the future of computing using the Drop Box server activity. Any file saved to Drop Box is also instantly saved to your computers, phones and the Drop Box website. It also allows you to share files with other computers. This is a great place to store back up files offsite.  For further information, log onto Drop Box.

We were  advised to be careful with Credit Card security. There was considerable discussion about the 4G network and NBN for network speed. This was a great talk especially for those using computers and the web in their daily work.

Shane was thanked for his talk & presented with the Rotary Humanity in Motion booklet.


11th Apr Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:30pm with a presentation by students who attended NYSF.

18th Apr Vocational visit to the Gallery on Cairncross where we will have a wine and cheese/canapés visit with Tony and Jane sharing the secrets of running a successful gallery. There will be an exhibition of Rex Backhaus-Smith paintings there at the time. It will be the normal starting time but there will be no included meal. Those who wish may move on for a meal at a restaurant of their choice.  The gallery visit  will be at reduced cost.

25th Apr  ANZAC Day - no meeting.

2nd May  Vocational Awards Night - details to be advised

27th May Launch of ‘A Parish Odyssey (The Dobson Years)’ by Jack Wilcox at the Maleny Catholic Centre at 10;30am.

30th May Joint Clubs meeting at USC.


1st Nancy Baker  12th Chris B  23rd John McL  27th John W      


6th Lloyd & Shirley  13th Jeff & Jan  18th Brian & Gillian  26th Bill & Marlene




Irish vs The French!

The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings. 
'Hallo, Mr Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty!'

'Well, Paddy,' Sarkozy replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big is your army?'

'Right now,' says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, 'there is meself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eleven!'
Sarkozy paused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.'
'Begorrah!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to ring you back...'
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again.                'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!'

'And what equipment would that be Paddy?' Sarkozy asks. 
'Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor.'

Sarkozy sighs amused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.'
'Saints preserve us!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to get back to you...'

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!'

Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!'
'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!' says Paddy, 'I will have to ring you back...'

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. 'Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.'
'Really? I am sorry to hear that,' says Sarkozy. 'Why the sudden change of heart?'
'Well,' says Paddy, 'we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and packets of crisps, and we decided there is no waaaaayyyyy we can feed 200,000 prisoners.'
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