Friday, 15 April 2016
Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 20th April 2016
"THE RANGE" Vol. 57 No. 21
WEDNESDAY 20TH APRIL 2016
THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Guest Speaker Bryan Mason on Romac.
Apologies to Jim Atkinson - email@example.com or 5494 3064 - before noon on Tuesday.
20th Apr 4th May 18th May
Duty Officer Lionel T Mike G Malcolm B
Assist DO Rick V Sherryl G Rick V
Registration Ric T Phillip S Roly N
Fellowship John W Alan W Andy S
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
Chris Brooker (Leader) Alan Wilson John Whan
John & Bernice McLennan (Leader) Roly Neiper
MEETING OF 6TH APRIL
Meeting of a select number opened by President Jeff and a couple of reports by Directors present.
National Youth Science Forum student Jane Miller gave a scintillating performance on her time at Canberra in January. She had prepared a power point presentation on the program and spoke to it eloquently, passionately and knowledgeably.
Jane certainly raised the bar on reports by any student who has attended a Rotary youth program. She had been invited to a further science symposium at University of Queensland that so impressed her she changed her major from Artificial Intelligence to Quantum Physics.
Jane is presently in Japan for a 9 month exchange and will complete her Yr. 12 next year. Definitely not the same girl we first interviewed approx. 12 months ago.
Following a very brief flurry of fines by Sergeant Chris, all true of course, we were given a presentation on Membership and New Members by AG Bruce McNaught.
Bruce spoke with vigour on themes of strategy, selling Rotary, Membership nights and the “elevator statement” whereby he challenged us to prepare a short presentation on Rotary to inform an unenlightened fellow traveller in an elevator (Americanised version of “lift”) during the time it takes to travel during stops.
And then we all went home . . . . . .
PRESENTATION TO THE MALENY MEN'S SHED
The Maleny Rotary Club presented a cheque of $10,500.00 to the Men’s Shed at the Maleny Historical Village for their new slab. It was presented by Past Rotary President and President of the Maleny Historical Society, Ric Townsend and Rotarian John McLennan to Wayne Schultz, President of the Men’s Shed. Ric and Wayne are on the right of the photo. Malcolm Baker was also present.
With thanks to the Maleny Locals Helping Locals Facebook page.
FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
MDSRC Awards Night at Tranquil Park.
Tranquil Park for the presentation of our Grants to the successful applicants. Full details to follow.
District Conference starts at Maroochydore.
30th April to 2nd May
Maleny Wood Expo - parking duties.
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Heatley Gilmore on Hinterland Times update.
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.
Joint Clubs Meeting at USC.
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker to be confirmed.
Masonic Hall at 5:50 for 6:00pm Project Meeting with cheese and biscuits.
27th & 28th May
BIRTHDAYS FOR APRIL
1st Nancy Baker 4th Phillip Stark 12th Chris Brooker 23rd John McLennan 27th Chris Ross Smith & John Whan
WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR APRIL
13th Jeff & Jan Cornfoot 26th Bill & Marlene Hankinson
NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE IN A COUNTRY WITHOUT MEDICARE
An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's Clinic. Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured, get back $1,000."
Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr.Geezer's clinic.
Dr. Young: "Dr.Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?"
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Dr. Young: Aaagh!! -- "This is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't, -- that is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."
Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr.Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see anything!!!!"
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, "Here's your $1000 back." (giving him a $10 bill)
Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.
Moral of story - Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer".
Remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to tick us off!