Wednesday, 31 January 2018

Rotary club of Maleny Bulletin for 7th February 2018

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 59 No.12

WEDNESDAY 7th February 2018

Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Desley Malone on the Maleny Historical Society.

Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday 6th.

DUTY ROSTERS                       
                          7th Feb        21st Feb          7th Mar                         
Duty Officer       Ric T           Malcolm B        Rick V              
Assist DO          Keith R        Jeff C               Chris R-S          
Registration       Bill H           CL C                 Greg W
Fellowship         Phillip S       Melinda M        John W

10th February
Ric Townsend  Phillip Stark  Angela Griffin

24th February
Rick Vickers  (Leader)  John and Bernice McLennan

Despite our planned speaker not turning up, thanks to our innovative President our meeting ended up being one of our most interesting and enjoyable. 
Four of our actively working members stepped into the breach – Melinda Martin, Rick Vickers, Sherryl Gregory and President Alan, shared information about their vocations – respectively Real Estate in Maleny, the Defence Force, Education, and Mortgages and Finance.

More of that below but prior to dinner the President welcomed potential new members – Peter McGuirk - who would be inducted on 7 February - and Laurelle Owen; and thanked Bill Hankinson and his wife for the Xmas dinner gathering and Roly and his wife for the first event of a new approach to Rotary Fellowship.

The next Vocational Visit with a social twist to Rainforest Liqueurs was confirmed for 31 January for which car-pooling would start at 16.30 at the RSL car park. BYO was essential and Jim would bring the makings for the BBQ.

Other updates and date claimers included:
1. Russell Stevenson confirming he was still negotiating with RI his plans for the food project in Enga, PNG , which our Club is prepared to support with a grant.
2. The need for a team for a Trivia night being organised on the Coast to raise funds for ROMAC.
3. Gathering 8 volunteers for car parking and resourcing the marquee at the Aussie Day Expo. 6-6.30 start.
4. Fixing a Rotary Badge to the SES shield.
5. Encouragement from our accomplished Treasurer for members to pay their dues.
6. Reminder to potential applicants that the deadline for the receipt of applications for Community Grants was 28 February.

Club members were treated to insights into the following topics by their stand-in speakers:
Education by Sherryl Gregory who reported that a big change to the Queensland Certificate of Education and Tertiary Entrance Process was to be introduced in Queensland whereby all assessment items had to be endorsed 6 months before they were to be handed to students and all students would be required to undertake external statewide exams to attain an Australian Tertiary Admission Rank (ATAR). Thus would bring Queensland in line with other states. Syllabuses have been reviewed and more subjects will be available to choose from. The changes affect students who will be in senior in 2020, i.e. the current year10 cohort.  Even more change for hard working teachers and students in Queensland.

Real Estate by Melinda Martin who advised that over the last 2.5 years the market in Maleny had changed. The median price has risen 14% from $500k to $570k for postcode 4552; the market was very tight and land was scarce. Maleny was popular - 95,000 hits per month online, compared to 25,000 hits for Montville, for example. has created another category called Maleny Greater Region, which includes all properties in postcode 4552. Real estate agents can no longer advertise subsidiary suburbs like Witta, Wootha, Conondale etc. under Maleny. They all have to go under their actual suburb, however they will now also fall under the new REA category "Maleny Greater Region".  It is a sellers market and a successful sale now depended very much more on how well the property was marketed, particularly for “distant” suburbs. A new Government regulation now required all sellers to obtain a Clearance Certificate before property over $750K could be sold.
The Police Station auction had been pulled because of the State Election but would be reactivated soon. The lock up will be removed; there is no official advice from State yet on where the lock up will be going!!

Defence Force by Rick Vickers who had only just retired after 40 years service during which time he had been a Phys.Ed instructor and trainer of trainers. Over the years the role of the Australian Defence Force had changed from commissioning for active duty to the 1990’s when duty in Timor Leste and the Middle East was more to demonstrate Australia’s role as a “World citizen”. This led to joint exercises with USA/UK/NZ/Canada and later on this extended to include Japan, the Pacific Nations and Indonesia. Good relationships have been forged and, over the last 10-15 years, 1:1 and 1:3 relationships had been forged with a variety of countries including India and Pakistan. Australia and NZ had common procedures and equipment and the USA and Singapore for example were taking advantage of the unique training areas offered by the Australian topography.

Finance and Mortgages by Alan Wilson who has been associated with banking and lending for 48 years primarily with the ANZ Bank covering Pacific Islands and Australia and New Zealand. The rules relating to lending had been tightened and changed and were still undergoing review by APRA and ASIC.  Examples included: if property not served by town water max loan reduced to 90% from 95% max; if loan document signed by several people, any one individual could be judged to be responsible for repayment of 100% of debt in the event of default – something parents helping family needed to be wary of.  Now, every mortgage application relied on much more detailed documentation verifying all income and living expenses and ran to 5 pages often taking 5 hours to complete. For investment purchases Alan recommended locking in a fixed rate. He also recommended that once a mortgage was paid off application should be made for the mortgage to be released off the title to avoid delays when planning to sell in the future.  Alan predicted that though a lot of change had already happened more rationalisation should be anticipated.

President Alan closed the meeting with members expressing interest in repeating this type of meeting for sharing our expertise in our work and vocations whether still active or retired.

14th February
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

21st February
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm for Gordon Jones video and Greg Williams "My Story".

28th February
Masonic Hall at 5:30 for 6:00pm for Club Assembly.

7th March
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Greg Beard on Sisters of Mercy.

1st Malcolm and Nancy

1st Jan Cornfoot & Kay Wilkinson  21st Michael Gregory


The Taxman decides to audit Grandpa and summons him to the Tax Office.

The Taxman was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his Accountant.

The Taxman said, 'Well, Sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the tax office finds that believable.'

'I'm a great Gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about I give you a demonstration?

The Taxman thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay, Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The Taxman thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The Taxman's jaw drops!

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the Taxman can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his false teeth and bites his good eye.

The stunned Taxman now realises he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's Accountant as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?', Grandpa asks? 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on this side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The Taxman, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old man could possibly manage that stunt, so  Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much pees all over the Taxman's desk.

The Taxman leaps to his feet with joy, realising that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own Accountant moans loudly and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?'the Taxman asks.

'Not really,' says the Accountant. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

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