Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 3rd April 2019

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 60 No.18
WEDNESDAY 3RD APRIL 2019

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with our own James McCormack as Guest Speaker on My Story.

APOLOGIES AND MEALS
Apologies please to Bernice before noon of Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS                
                               3rd Apr         17th Apr           1st May      
Duty Officer            Sherryl G      Paulette S        Andy S                              
Assist DO               Michael G     Lionel T           Roly N       
Registration            Melinda M     Bill  H              Malcolm B       
Fellowship              Peter McG    James McC      Ric T       

SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
6th April
Rick Vickers (Leader)  Greg Williams  Paulette Steele

20th April
Bill Hankinson (Leader)  Greg Williams  Paulette Steele  Laurelle Owen

4th May
No sizzle 

CLUB ORGANISATION
Details of the make up of the current Board and Committees can be found at the end of this bulletin.

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
To follow

RIVER SCHOOL GARDEN SHED

President Alan officially handed over the new Rotary Garden Shed to the Principal and pupils of the River School.  He was accompanied by Malcolm Baker who had multi-tasked as architect, main contractor, builder and concrete layer with assistance from other Club volunteers.

INTERACT CONFERENCE

We were told at our previous meeting what a professional presentation had been given by the Maleny High School Club.  Unfortunately they did not win but hearty congratulations on their performance.  The representatives are shown above.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
10th April
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

17th April
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Russ Stephenson on RAM Project.

24th April
Masonic Hall at 5:30 for 6:00pm for Club Assembly.

1st May
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker TBC

4th - 6th May
Parking duties for Maleny Wood Expo.

31st May - 1st June  All hands on deck for the Maleny Show.

BIRTHDAYS FOR APRIL
1st Nancy Baker  4th Phillip Stark  12th Chris Brooker  23rd John McLennan  27th Chris Ross Smith & John Whan

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR APRIL
13th Jeff & Jan Cornfoot  26th Bill & Marlene Hankinson

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES AND SUCKLINGS

LITTLE HAROLD

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Harold stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Harold?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'


Harold watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter, asked Harold 'Giving up?'


The math teacher saw that Harold wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Harold! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?'  Harold quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'

 Harold's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him'.    Harold asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?'

 Little Harold attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Harold asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Harold, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ....'

MALENY ROTARY CLUB EXECUTIVE TEAM FOR 2018-2019

BOARD MEMBERS
 President  -   Alan Wilson
Vice President  - Michael Gregory
Secretary  - Bernice McLennan
Treasurer  -  Jim Atkinson
Vocational - Ric Townsend
Club Admininstration / Membership - Philip Stark  
International/Foundation - Angela Griffin/ CL Claridge
Community Relations/Youth - Greg Williams
Service Projects - Rick Vickers/Chris Ross-Smith
 
Other Roles
Guest Speakers  - Michael Gregory                                          
Bulletin Editor - Keith Rogers

MALENY ROTARY CLUB COMMITTEES   
1.Grants Committee            2.RAWCS - Ebenezer Zambia 
Confidential                         Angela Griffin
                                            CL Claridge
                                            Jim Atkinson
3.RAWCS-Nepal               
Chris Ross-Smith                4.Show Committee
Jim Atkinson                        Bernice McLennan
CL Claridge                         John McLennan
               
5.Social Committee             6.Calendar Committee
Phillip Stark                         Lionel Tilley
Roly Neiper                          Rick Vickers
                                            Jeff Cornfoot 
7.High School Project         Jim Atkinson  
Chris Brooker                         
Jeff Cornfoot                        
Greg Williams               

8.Membership/                     9.Qld Australian Cross Country Athletics Title
USC Project Committee       Rick Vickers
Phillip Stark                          Greg Williams
CL Claridge                           Chris Brooker
Angela Griffin
Roly Nieper                          10.Plan for Maleny Education Support Fund
Chris Ross-Smith                  Angela Griffin
Rick Vickers                          CL Claridge
                                               Roly Nieper   
                                               Jeff Cornfoot

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 20th March 2019

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 60 No.17

WEDNESDAY 20TH MARCH 2019

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Karen Gerard on Cervical Cancer.

APOLOGIES AND MEALS
Apologies please to Bernice before noon of Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS                
                         20th Mar            3rd Apr               17th Apr       
Duty Officer      Ric Townsend    Sherryl G          Paulette S            
Assist DO         Rick Vickers       Michael G        Lionel T
Registration       Laurelle O         Melinda M        Bill H                      
Fellowship         Chris B              Peter McG        James McC                  

SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
23rd March
Jeff Cornfoot  (Leader)  Roly Neiper  Lionel Tilley

6th April
Rick Vickers (Leader)  Greg Williams  Paulette Steele

20th April
Bill Hankinson (Leader)  Laurelle Owen    Greg Williams  Paulette Steele

CLUB ORGANISATION
Details of the make up of the currrent Board and Committees can be found at the end of this bulletin.

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
President Alan welcomed guests Geoff Clements of Life Flight who was the Guest Speaker, Janine McCarthy of Range Care (formerly Blackall Range Care Group), seven Partners and members. He said that unfortunately Margaret Taylor of Maleny Singers was unable to attend.

He then reminded members that the District Conference was to be held on 22-24 March.

Michael G said that the official opening of the River School garden shed would be held on 15 March with the Hinterland Times present.

Roly N said that the tickets for a Seniors Moment on 24 May had been booked - attendees to pay the Treasurer please.

Chris R-S spoke of Margaret Taylor's generous proposal to donate the profits from the Maleny Singers production of the Marriage of Figaro to charities of our Club's choosing. In return the Club offered assistance with ushers, publicity, organised a Gala opening event and ran a successful raffle. The Maleny Singers raised $5,000 and this amount has been augmented by the Club.  Cheques for $4,000 each were presented to the representatives of Life Flight and Range Care.

Janine McCarthy thanked the Club and said that Range Care had been running for 30 years and aims to assist people to stay in their own homes as long as possible by providing assistance in a number of areas - gardening, maintenance, cleaning, transport for medical appointments, social and recreational facilities etc.  The cheque will go towards the cost of $17,500 for a new people mover.

The Sergeant took full advantage of the larger than normal attendance to increase his haul.

The Guest Speaker Geoff Clements thanked the Club for their generous donation.  He explained that Life Flight was Queensland based and operated at no cost to the patient.  It received 65% of its costs from the Government with the balance of $2 million coming from the community. It has a helicopter fleet and has flown over 60,000 missions in its 37 years of existence.

The helicopters are used in emergency situations where normal ambulances would not be able to get patients to hospitals in time. In rural and remote communities this offers a lifeline of hope as the helicopters are flying emergency wards.  He then quoted some specific instances to illustrate his point.

Keith R gave the vote of thanks.



A further special event took place before the meeting closed.  In a surprise to the majority of attendees, Rick Vickers presented a Paul Harris Fellowship to Chris Ross-Smith with specific reference to his work with the Maleny Singers, the fund raising he achieved and for taking the Club into the artistic community.  This was greeted with a standing ovation from all present.

An excellent meeting closed at 8:45pm.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
22nd-24th March District Conference in Brisbane

27th March
Masonic Hall at 5:30 for 6:00pm for Club Assembly.

3rd April
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker our own James McCormack on my story.

10th April
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

17th April
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Russ Stephenson on his RAM project.

BIRTHDAYS FOR MARCH
5th Judy Tilley  26th Rick Vickers

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR MARCH
6th John & Beth Whan  22nd Peter and Kay Wilkinson

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
MORE WOE FOR THE LEGAL PROFESSION

An English lawyer went duck hunting in The Yorkshire Dales . He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in England and,  if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Yorkshire.  We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face first into a fresh cow pat.

Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck." 

       

 

MALENY ROTARY CLUB EXECUTIVE TEAM FOR 2018-2019

BOARD MEMBERS
 President  -   Alan Wilson
Vice President  - Michael Gregory
Secretary  - Bernice McLennan
Treasurer  -  Jim Atkinson
Vocational - Ric Townsend
Club Admininstration / Membership - Philip Stark  
International/Foundation - Angela Griffin/ CL Claridge
Community Relations/Youth - Greg Williams
Service Projects - Rick Vickers/Chris Ross-Smith
 
Other Roles
Guest Speakers  - Michael Gregory                                          
Bulletin Editor - Keith Rogers

MALENY ROTARY CLUB COMMITTEES   
1.Grants Committee            2.RAWCS - Ebenezer Zambia 
Confidential                         Angela Griffin
                                            CL Claridge
                                            Jim Atkinson
3.RAWCS-Nepal               
Chris Ross-Smith                4.Show Committee
Jim Atkinson                        Bernice McLennan
CL Claridge                         John McLennan
               
5.Social Committee             6.Calendar Committee
Phillip Stark                         Lionel Tilley
Roly Neiper                          Rick Vickers
                                            Jeff Cornfoot 
7.High School Project         Jim Atkinson  
Chris Brooker                         
Jeff Cornfoot                        
Greg Williams               

8.Membership/                     9.Qld Australian Cross Country Athletics Title
USC Project Committee       Rick Vickers
Phillip Stark                          Greg Williams
CL Claridge                           Chris Brooker
Angela Griffin
Roly Nieper                          10.Plan for Maleny Education Support Fund
Chris Ross-Smith                  Angela Griffin
Rick Vickers                          CL Claridge
                                               Roly Nieper   
                                               Jeff Cornfoot