Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 20th March 2019

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 60 No.17

WEDNESDAY 20TH MARCH 2019

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Karen Gerard on Cervical Cancer.

APOLOGIES AND MEALS
Apologies please to Bernice before noon of Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS                
                         20th Mar            3rd Apr               17th Apr       
Duty Officer      Ric Townsend    Sherryl G          Paulette S            
Assist DO         Rick Vickers       Michael G        Lionel T
Registration       Laurelle O         Melinda M        Bill H                      
Fellowship         Chris B              Peter McG        James McC                  

SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
23rd March
Jeff Cornfoot  (Leader)  Roly Neiper  Lionel Tilley

6th April
Rick Vickers (Leader)  Greg Williams  Paulette Steele

20th April
Bill Hankinson (Leader)  Laurelle Owen    Greg Williams  Paulette Steele

CLUB ORGANISATION
Details of the make up of the currrent Board and Committees can be found at the end of this bulletin.

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
President Alan welcomed guests Geoff Clements of Life Flight who was the Guest Speaker, Janine McCarthy of Range Care (formerly Blackall Range Care Group), seven Partners and members. He said that unfortunately Margaret Taylor of Maleny Singers was unable to attend.

He then reminded members that the District Conference was to be held on 22-24 March.

Michael G said that the official opening of the River School garden shed would be held on 15 March with the Hinterland Times present.

Roly N said that the tickets for a Seniors Moment on 24 May had been booked - attendees to pay the Treasurer please.

Chris R-S spoke of Margaret Taylor's generous proposal to donate the profits from the Maleny Singers production of the Marriage of Figaro to charities of our Club's choosing. In return the Club offered assistance with ushers, publicity, organised a Gala opening event and ran a successful raffle. The Maleny Singers raised $5,000 and this amount has been augmented by the Club.  Cheques for $4,000 each were presented to the representatives of Life Flight and Range Care.

Janine McCarthy thanked the Club and said that Range Care had been running for 30 years and aims to assist people to stay in their own homes as long as possible by providing assistance in a number of areas - gardening, maintenance, cleaning, transport for medical appointments, social and recreational facilities etc.  The cheque will go towards the cost of $17,500 for a new people mover.

The Sergeant took full advantage of the larger than normal attendance to increase his haul.

The Guest Speaker Geoff Clements thanked the Club for their generous donation.  He explained that Life Flight was Queensland based and operated at no cost to the patient.  It received 65% of its costs from the Government with the balance of $2 million coming from the community. It has a helicopter fleet and has flown over 60,000 missions in its 37 years of existence.

The helicopters are used in emergency situations where normal ambulances would not be able to get patients to hospitals in time. In rural and remote communities this offers a lifeline of hope as the helicopters are flying emergency wards.  He then quoted some specific instances to illustrate his point.

Keith R gave the vote of thanks.



A further special event took place before the meeting closed.  In a surprise to the majority of attendees, Rick Vickers presented a Paul Harris Fellowship to Chris Ross-Smith with specific reference to his work with the Maleny Singers, the fund raising he achieved and for taking the Club into the artistic community.  This was greeted with a standing ovation from all present.

An excellent meeting closed at 8:45pm.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
22nd-24th March District Conference in Brisbane

27th March
Masonic Hall at 5:30 for 6:00pm for Club Assembly.

3rd April
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker our own James McCormack on my story.

10th April
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

17th April
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Russ Stephenson on his RAM project.

BIRTHDAYS FOR MARCH
5th Judy Tilley  26th Rick Vickers

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR MARCH
6th John & Beth Whan  22nd Peter and Kay Wilkinson

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
MORE WOE FOR THE LEGAL PROFESSION

An English lawyer went duck hunting in The Yorkshire Dales . He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in England and,  if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Yorkshire.  We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face first into a fresh cow pat.

Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck." 

       

 

MALENY ROTARY CLUB EXECUTIVE TEAM FOR 2018-2019

BOARD MEMBERS
 President  -   Alan Wilson
Vice President  - Michael Gregory
Secretary  - Bernice McLennan
Treasurer  -  Jim Atkinson
Vocational - Ric Townsend
Club Admininstration / Membership - Philip Stark  
International/Foundation - Angela Griffin/ CL Claridge
Community Relations/Youth - Greg Williams
Service Projects - Rick Vickers/Chris Ross-Smith
 
Other Roles
Guest Speakers  - Michael Gregory                                          
Bulletin Editor - Keith Rogers

MALENY ROTARY CLUB COMMITTEES   
1.Grants Committee            2.RAWCS - Ebenezer Zambia 
Confidential                         Angela Griffin
                                            CL Claridge
                                            Jim Atkinson
3.RAWCS-Nepal               
Chris Ross-Smith                4.Show Committee
Jim Atkinson                        Bernice McLennan
CL Claridge                         John McLennan
               
5.Social Committee             6.Calendar Committee
Phillip Stark                         Lionel Tilley
Roly Neiper                          Rick Vickers
                                            Jeff Cornfoot 
7.High School Project         Jim Atkinson  
Chris Brooker                         
Jeff Cornfoot                        
Greg Williams               

8.Membership/                     9.Qld Australian Cross Country Athletics Title
USC Project Committee       Rick Vickers
Phillip Stark                          Greg Williams
CL Claridge                           Chris Brooker
Angela Griffin
Roly Nieper                          10.Plan for Maleny Education Support Fund
Chris Ross-Smith                  Angela Griffin
Rick Vickers                          CL Claridge
                                               Roly Nieper   
                                               Jeff Cornfoot

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 18th October 2017

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 59 No.7
WEDNESDAY 18th October 2017

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Brian Springer on ShelterBox projects. Partners welcome.


APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday 17th.

DUTY ROSTERS                       
                         18th Oct        1st Nov            15th Nov                              
Duty Officer      Ric T             Bernice McL    Malcolm B                                    
Assist DO         Rick V           Angela G          Jeff C                          
Registration      CL C             Chris B             Keith R
Fellowship        Melinda M     John W             Bill H  

SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
21st October
Chris B (Leader) Malcolm B  Volunteer

4th November
Roly N  (Leader)  Andy S  John W

18th November
Jeff C  (Leader)  Angela G  Keith R

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING

Ric Townsend chaired the meeting and welcomed our guests  DG John Lane, ADG Linda Morrell, prospective new member Greg Williams and David's cousin. He then proceeded to set a complicated, multi choice written test on our most important reasons for joining Rotary - answers in three words please.

*Secretary Bernice requested that Youth Declaration Forms to be filled out by all members.

*Jeff C gave a reminder to buy tickets early for the Melbourne Cup Function . The Hinterland Times is to give good publicity for the event.

*Chris B reported that the Interact Club has 14 members attending coffee mornings on Tuesdays. It is going well. A grant application for $20,000 from Andrew Wallace for netball courts to be covered at the school is to be submitted. The cost for covering all the courts is approximately $350,000. The state grant application is in progress.

He also reported on the funeral of our former President Gordon Jones, who had also headed the local  RSL.

*Rick V, who had served with Gordon, spoke of his outstanding achievements during his military career.  Coincidentally he then won the raffle.

* Mercifully the Sergeant's session was both short and sweet.

We then were addressed by DG John Lane who explained that his journey was started by Michael Gregory whose name was on his chain of office.

He had just returned from the Solomon Island and PNG clubs. Very different from ours with 3 or 4 members chatting about Rotary and membership problems. Some highlights were:

Manus are asking for donations for school kindies and also computers.

In Mt Hagen it was election time and oil was poured on the flight runway so no planes could take off or land.

There were fires in houses on Manus Island but no fire engines or any other way to extinguish the fires except by buckets.

He spoke of the need of higher membership numbers to help with administration of the 66 clubs in our District. There has been a loss of 1200 members in 12 months in Australia as a whole. The number of Districts may have to be lowered from 16 to 10-12 by amalgamation. Aging population is of course a contributing factor. However India and Africa have increases in membership numbers.

The governing body of Rotary has made changes to flexibility, to allow clubs to change number of meeting and their format as well as introducing corporate membership.Clubs to be allowed the freedom to do what they need to do still following Rotary principles.

Polio numbers are still decreasing, but still active in Afghanistan and Pakistan. $50 million is needed over the next 3 years to eradicate polio. WHO is committed to assisting eradication of Polio.

He urged club members to log into the internet, Rotary Central, to put forward goals for the year and also enter a record of hours worked on projects to show future partners with Rotary what is contributed.

The Rotary Foundation enables Rotary to do bigger and better projects and has low administration costs.

His wife Helen Bo Morse has as her partner project the Purple Bus.  This vehicle which has Aboriginal paintings covering most of it. It is used to transport Central Australian patients to Alice Springs for dialysis for the many with renal diseases. Nurse Sarah Brown has raised money from selling paintings to enable the purple Bus to have 2 dialysis machines on board so some can be treated without having to travel.

John was thanked by Rick Vickers and was presented with a Platypus bag and one of our calendars.

      
FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
25th October
Masonic Hall at 5:30 for 6:00pm for Club Assembly.

1st November
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Adria, our YEP Student.

8th November
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

15th November
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with our own CL and a Shed The Light update.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY FOR OCTOBER
26th Rick and Cilla

BIRTHDAYS FOR OCTOBER
12th Gloria Rogers  14th Keith Rogers  16th Kerry Neiper  28th Bernice McLennan  30th Andy Schouteten

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
FURTHER PROBLEMS FOR THE ELDERLY
1. A NURSE REPORTS FROM HOSPITAL

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already
dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the lift.

On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

2. A DOCTOR REPORTS

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'

Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'
'
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 19th April 2017

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 58 No.19
WEDNESDAY 19TH APRIL 2017

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Sharon Tregonning on Advanced Care Planning.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Jeff before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS                       
                               19th Apr           17th May            
Duty Officer            Chris B             CL Claridge           
Assist DO               David F            Malcolm B                      
Registration            Keith R             Ric T
Fellowship              Rick V              Bill H

SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
13th May
Lionel Tilley (Leader)   Andy Shouteten  Malcolm Baker

27th May
Jeff Cornfoot  (Leader)  Roly Neiper  Phillip Stark

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
President Jeff welcomed members and guests to the meeting. He reported that the Club had gained good PR in the Glasshouse Country and Maleny News and a positive response to the Community Grants evening held at the RSL last month. Rotary also features in the current Hinterland Times - advertising the calendar photo competition. Several members reported that the District Conference held at Caloundra last weekend went well. Past RI President Glen Kinross’s speech was particularly mentioned.

Reminders were given about the 2017 Maleny District Sports and Recreation Club Awards night to be held on Sat 22 April at the RSL. It would be good to have a Rotary table. The club has nominated the Interact Club for one award. Some discussion was held on the sausage sizzle trial of later starting and finishing times. Results were mixed - the position of the sizzle could affect the takings, and Rotary PR may be more the priority than fundraising. Our incoming exchange student from Spain arrives on 4 July. Jeff thanked Malcolm who has agreed to be his counselor. Lionel announced that this would be the last year of the Rotary Bowel Scan program. Kits in hand would be sold at the usual venues. The Federal Government will be running their progamme after that.

Sue Larsen from the Fred Hollows Foundation was welcomed at the guest speaker. Sue is the National Fundraising Manager for the Foundation, which started 25 years ago. Sue previously worked for Thai International Airlines for 20 years and met Fred Hollows through her work there, and his work in Eritrea and Nepal. Fred loved indigenous Australia and launched the National Trachoma Programme. Trachoma is an eye disease endemic in lots of indigenous areas. Fred pioneered and revolutionised cataract surgery through the use of the perspex intra-ocular lens. He set about reducing the cost of the lenses and the operations, and training local people to do the work.

Sue’s presentation highlighted lots of statistics relating to the need to treat preventable blindness, and about the success and extent of the Foundations’ work in 25 countries including Nepal, Eritrea, Northern Africa, South East Asia, Pakistan and Afghanistan.
• 32.4 million people in the world are blind
• 90% live in developing countries
• 3 out of 5 of them are women
• 4 out of 5 have preventable blindness
• In 2015 the Foundation reached 890,066 in eye operations and treatment
• 64,613 people had been trained, including 232 surgeons
• $2.4 million has been invested in equipment and technology
• $25 donation can restore sigh t- a gift that is life-changing.

It was gratifying to be reminded that Rotary International had kick-started the Foundation with a $100,000 donation presented to Gabbi Hollows at the Melbourne Rotary International Convention in 1992. Sue’s presentation reassured us that the work that Fred Hollows pioneered is still being carried out by the Foundation, which is now stronger and reaching more communities- providing affordable and sustainable eye care, investing in people to carry on the work in the 25 countries it has reached. Sue outlined ways that people can get involved as volunteers, and/or in participating in fundraising activities such as Coastrek  coming up on the Sunshine Coast in July. For more information visit coastrek.com.au or the Fred Hollows Foundation website at : www.hollows.org.

Sue finished the presentation with a video showing the remarkable work of the Foundation through the commentary of Ray Martin, the Foundation’s first chairman, travelling to a remote area in Laos where surgery was needed to be carried out on twins, both born with cataracts. 

Sherryl gave the vote of thanks.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
22nd April
MDSRC Awards Dinner at the RSL.

26th April
Masonic Hall at 5:30 for 6:00pm for Club Assembly.

29th April to 1st May
Car parking duties at Maleny Wood Expo.

3rd May
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

10th May
Combined Clubs Meeting at USC.

17th May
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker TBC.
   
BIRTHDAYS FOR APRIL
1st Nancy Baker  4th Phillip Stark  8th David Fraser 12th Chris Brooker  23rd John McLennan  27th Chris Ross Smith & John Whan

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR APRIL
13th Jeff & Jan Cornfoot  26th Bill & Marlene Hankinson

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
THE COURSE OF TRUE LOVE DOES NOT RUN SMOOTH
A WIFE'S TALE

Several days ago, as I left a meeting, I desperately gave myself a personal search. I was looking for my car keys.

They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the car park.
 
My husband has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
 
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. His theory is that the car will be stolen.

As I scanned the car park I came to a terrifying conclusion! His theory was right. The car park was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all.
 
"Hello My Love", I stammered; I always call him "My Love" in times like these. "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had disconnected, but then I heard his voice. He barked, "I dropped you off!"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."


He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your bloody car."

This is what they call, " the Golden Years!"

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 4th June 2014

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 55 No. 20

Wednesday 4th June 2014

THIS WEEK'S MEETING

Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Ian Lucas of Lucas Parklands.

APOLOGIES

Please tender apologies to Jim A by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                               4 Jun              18 Jun                    2 Jul  
                    
Duty Officer           Chris B           Jim A                    Mike G            
 
Registration           Rick V           Bernice McL          John W

ADO & Scribe       Sherryl G        Jeff C                    Robin T
          
Fellowship             John W           Lionel T                Ric T                  
      
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER

7th June
Mike & Sherryl Gregory (Leader) Rick Vickers

21 June
Rick Vickers (Leader)  Jim Atkinson  John Whan

MINUTES OF MEETING OF 7TH MAY

Our Guest Speaker for this meeting was Michelle Gilmore who, together with her husband Heatley, have recently become the owners of the Hinterland Times.  Michelle has taken over as editor and Heatley,who has had many years experience, looks after the advertising.

They also produce the monthly Rainbow Beach Cooloola Coast Community News, and quite separately provide an internet marketing service for resorts and accommodation.

Heatley and Michelle met at university when Heatley, who had grown up on the land, studied agricultural economics and Michelle, science. Michelle went on to complete a Master of Science and, from 1993, worked as a dietitian in Ipswich, Toowoomba and Mackay.  She travelled to rural towns helping older people and people with disabilities. She has also run her own private practices, as well as spending seven years as the Gympie Community Nutritionist for Queensland Health.  In that role she worked with council and schools to improve food security in the Gympie region, including the Mary Valley, focussing on access to fresh produce and healthy options.

A few years ago, Michelle closed down her private practice to devote more time to the couple’s marketing business, liaising with resort owners and producing newsletters for their guests.  The majority of their hospitality clients are based on the Sunshine Coast including the hinterland, so she has been writing about the area and promoting its wonders for at least five years.

The Gilmore family has grown as they have travelled throughout Queensland and overseas with the four children born in Toowoomba, Mackay and London.

In the last year, they have written and edited entire editions on-line, from ads to photo captions, understanding publishing and web requirements, but find it very exciting to be working with such an accomplished team of local writers and designers.  They are already working closely with business owners and community groups. They aim to ensure that HT maintains its high regard in the community.

Michelle said that they had been bouyed by the positive reception to their publication.  She outlined their production schedule and emphasised how important it was for potential contributions to be received in good time.  They were more interested in advertising forthcoming events rather than reporting past history.

There was a lively question and answer session before Keith R gave a vote of thanks.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS

11th June
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

18th June
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Bill Richardson of White Ribbon Australia.

25th June
Annual Changeover Dinner at The Old Bank Cafe at 6:30 for 7:00pm - Partners welcome.

28th June
District Changeover Dinner at Bribie Island Hotel.

BIRTHDAY FOR JUNE

1st Mike Edwards

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT

ANOTHER VERSION OF MURPHY'S LAW

Murphy,  a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could  find.

After  arriving in Paris , he visited with some manufacturers  and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate  the new  acquisition,  he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine.

As he  sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the  house.  Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his  table, asked  him  something in French (which Murphy  could  not  understand), so he motioned  to  the vacant chair and invited her to sit down.
 
He  tried to speak to her in English,  but she did not speak his language.

 After a couple of  minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a  picture of a  wine  glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a  glass of wine for her. 




After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another  napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.  They left the  bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group  playing romantic  music.

 
They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and  they got up to dance. They danced until thecafe closed and the band was packing up. 





Back at their table, the young lady took a  napkin and drew a picture of a  four-poster  bed.

To this day, Murphy has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.