Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 20th April 2016

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 57 No. 21
WEDNESDAY 20TH APRIL 2016

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Guest Speaker Bryan Mason on Romac.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Jim Atkinson - jimako4@bigpond.com or 5494 3064 - before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                      20th Apr        4th May        18th May                   
Duty Officer   Lionel T         Mike G         Malcolm B                          
Assist DO       Rick V           Sherryl G      Rick V                  
Registration    Ric T             Phillip S        Roly N
Fellowship     John W          Alan W         Andy S
          
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
23rd April
Chris Brooker (Leader)  Alan Wilson  John Whan

7th May
John & Bernice McLennan (Leader) Roly Neiper

MEETING OF 6TH APRIL
Meeting of a select number opened by President Jeff and a couple of reports by Directors present.

National Youth Science Forum student Jane Miller gave a scintillating performance on her time at Canberra in January. She had prepared a power point presentation on the program and spoke to it eloquently, passionately and knowledgeably.

Jane certainly raised the bar on reports by any student who has attended a Rotary youth program. She had been invited to a further science symposium at University of Queensland that so impressed her she changed her major from Artificial Intelligence to Quantum Physics.

Jane is presently in Japan for a 9 month exchange and will complete her Yr. 12 next year. Definitely not the same girl we first interviewed approx. 12 months ago.

Following a very brief flurry of fines by Sergeant Chris, all true of course, we were given a presentation on Membership and New Members by AG Bruce McNaught.

Bruce spoke with vigour on themes of strategy, selling Rotary, Membership nights and the “elevator statement” whereby he challenged us to prepare a short presentation on Rotary to inform an unenlightened fellow traveller in an elevator (Americanised version of “lift”) during the time it takes to travel during stops.

And then we all went home . . . . . .

PRESENTATION TO THE MALENY MEN'S SHED
The Maleny Rotary Club presented a cheque of $10,500.00 to the Men’s Shed at the Maleny Historical Village for their  new slab. It was presented by Past Rotary President and President of the Maleny Historical Society, Ric Townsend and Rotarian John McLennan to Wayne Schultz, President of the Men’s Shed. Ric and Wayne are on the right of the photo.  Malcolm Baker was also present.
With thanks to the Maleny Locals Helping Locals Facebook page.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
23rd April
MDSRC Awards Night at Tranquil Park.

27th April
Tranquil Park for the presentation of our Grants to the successful applicants. Full details to follow.

29th April
District Conference starts at Maroochydore.

30th April to 2nd May
Maleny Wood Expo - parking duties.

4th May
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Heatley Gilmore on Hinterland Times update.

9th May
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

11th May
Joint Clubs Meeting at USC.

18th May
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker to be confirmed.

25th May
Masonic Hall at 5:50 for 6:00pm Project Meeting with cheese and biscuits.

27th & 28th May
Maleny Show

BIRTHDAYS FOR APRIL
1st Nancy Baker  4th Phillip Stark  12th Chris Brooker  23rd John McLennan  27th Chris Ross Smith & John Whan

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR APRIL
13th Jeff & Jan Cornfoot  26th Bill & Marlene Hankinson

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE IN A COUNTRY WITHOUT MEDICARE

An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.  He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's Clinic.  Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured, get back $1,000."

 Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.  So he went to Dr.Geezer's clinic.                    

Dr. Young: "Dr.Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth.  Can you please help me?"

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."

Dr. Young: Aaagh!! -- "This is Gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back.  That will be $500."

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr. Young:  "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Dr. Young:  "Oh, no you don't,  -- that is Gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations!  You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr.Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see anything!!!!"

Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, "Here's your $1000 back." (giving him a $10 bill)

Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!"

Dr. Geezer:  "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.

Moral of story - Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer".

Remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to tick us off!