Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 5th August 2015

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 57 No. 4

WEDNESDAY 5TH AUGUST 2015

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Brody Foy on his Rhodes Scholarship.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                       5th Aug           19th Aug              2nd Sep           
                   
Duty Officer   Michael G        Rick V               Chris B                 
Assist DO      Sherryl G          Phillip S            Angela G                    
Registration   John McL         Lionel T             Bill H     
Fellowship     Bernice Mcl      Alan W             Keith R        
 
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
15th Aug
Malcolm B (Leader)   Bill H   Ric T

29th Aug
Chris B  (Leader)   Rick V   Chris R-S

MEETING OF 15TH JULY
President Jeff Cornfoot opened the meeting by welcoming members and our Guest Speaker Kelly Tilse together with her father David. He announced that:
- the duties of Sergeant would be rotated on a monthly basis.
- a membership satisfaction survey form was being circulated for all members to complete.
- the meeting of 29th July would be held at the hotel.

Treasurer Jim announced that notices for dues had been dispatched.

Bernice asked for two volunteers to join Phillip who was one his own at the next sausage sizzle - Alan and Keith obliged.

Donna said that she was looking for two more entrants for the shopping bag design competition.

It was reported that there were two unfilled advertising spots in this year's calendar.  Our Guest Speaker Kelly immediately agreed to take one.

Our Guest Speakers Kelly and her father David spoke about Weddings at Tiffany's.  Kelly, her husband and parents are co-owners of this business which was established in June 2011.  They leased the building that had traded as Malcolm's Restaurant and built a wedding chapel.  They offer a comprehensive wedding package in an all weather venue.

Kelly, who has been a florist for many years, is the dedicated Function Coordinator and offers more than 20 years expertise as a floral designer and wedding planner. She has been helping brides locally with their wedding requirements for 4 years and is committed to running a seamless and professional service, aided by her partners and a staff of 30.

She explained that the wedding industry was worth about $50 million a year in the Hinterland with mostly out of town customers.  Tiffany's average function will have 80 to 100 guests and they will host an average of 3 weddings per week.

Keith R thanked the guest speakers and congratulated them on the creation of their successful business.

Meeting closed at 8.40pm

BLACKALL RANGE CARE GROUP
President Jeff and Secretary Jim presented a cheque for $2000 to BRGC to assist them with the costs of running a nurse's vehicle.  This will be followed by donations of $1500 over the next two years.  This donation featured on the front page of the Glasshouse Country and Maleny News of 29th July under the by-line of "Turning pumpkins into petrol".  It explained how sales of pumpkin soup at the show have contributed to this donation.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
12th August
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

19th August
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Sabine Wienand on Basically Wild.

26th August
Project Meeting at the Masonic Hall with $10 meal.

2nd September
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Richard Giles on Feng Shui and other interests.

9th September
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

12&13th September
Parking duties at Real Food Festival.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR AUGUST
15th  Phillip and Janice Stark  29th Angela and Mike

BIRTHDAYS FOR AUGUST
17th Malcolm Baker  20th Jocelyn Brooker  28th Lionel Tilley

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
FROM AN INTERNATIONAL ECONOMIC EXPERT

THE GREEK BAILOUT PROBLEM EXPLAINED

It is a slow day in a little Greek Village. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted.

Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.

The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the utcher.

The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer.

The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.

The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the tavern.

The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him "services" on credit.

The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.

The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, takes the money, and leaves town.

No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the bailout package works.

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 6th May 2015

WEDNESDAY 6TH MAY 2015

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Michael Wearing on Mens' House.

APOLOGIES
Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                             6 May                   20 May        
                   
Duty Officer         Michael G             USC Meeting     

ADO & Scribe     Sherryl G

Registration         Bernice McL           

Fellowship           John McL
      
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
9th May
Lionel T (Leader)   Robin T   John W

23rd May
Malcolm B (Leader)   Philip S   Rick V

MINUTES OF MEETING OF 29TH APRIL
President Ric opened the meeting by welcoming our many guests including PDG Eric Woods, our PP Eddie Vann and the other representatives of the local Community Groups that had been chosen as the recipients of the Club's Community Grants awards.  There were 29 people attending; he was again reminded that he had omittted to welcome CL Claridge. He explained that the Club Board had initiated these awards inspired by MCU and Bendigo Bank. Thirteen Community Groups had applied and eight had had their proposals accepted and he applauded them for their success.

He then went on to explain that the Board had undertaken this scheme as something of a PR exercise to encourage new members.   He then said:
In recent times I have heard a number of things said about Rotary Maleny that indicated that there is not a great understanding about what we do in the Maleny Community.  We are not:
-"Just Funny Old Blokes That Cook Sausages".
-"You're the parking attendants with the begging buckets".
-“Your a group that sends our money overseas when there are disasters”.
-"Its only a club for business men isn't it?"  And perhaps the worst of all, "Does money you raise go to towards your dinners?"

Perhaps we have a bit of a public relations problem.  Here’s a quick list of what we've done this year:
Funded a Low Cost Housing/ Homeless Accommodation Study in Maleny $2500
Contributed to the Maleny Hospital Memorial Walk $1500
Approved funding for the Maleny Men's Shed Slab $8500
Paid for the new Historical Society Road Sign $1500
Purchased a Time Capsule to be placed next to the The Maleny Cenotaph $1000
Donated the Maleny Swimming Club “Splash for Cash” prizes $300
Agreed to fund the running of a Nurse’s vehicle for the Blackall Care Group $2000
Provided funds to Art for Place for local community artworks $100
Agreed to pay for public seating in the Precinct adjacent to the Golf Club $600
Additionally there are the Community Grants that are being distributed tonight.

Sure we made some International Donations
“Polio Plus” is a program that Rotary world wide contributes to in the fight against this terrible disease. This year we contributed $2,000.
Provided a “Shelter Box” for distribution to an overseas disaster $1,000.

How do we raise funds you may ask?
Yes we cook sausages and hold out begging buckets, however we also run a very successful Show Stall and produce a high quality and popular Maleny Calendar each year. Lots of work, lots of fun however it’s about our desire to help our wonderful community.  By the way… we pay for our own dinners and our club is made up of both men and women.  Want to help your community? Why not consider joining our Club?  Its only a couple of hours a week. Oh and we are no longer very formal either, it's more about having some fun!

Cath Overden of MNC told the meeting that 2000 people came through the Centre. She gave a case study about their important work helping people in need.  Their aim is to keep people out of crisis.  Donations, which are tax deductible, would be welcome.

Barry Smith of Art4Place kindly referred to Club members as unsung heroes and presented President Ric with some examples of his work.

After the meal, Chris B was allowed his wicked way with both members and guests.  He even fined Vince Carberry for failing to do a good job as his school teacher.  As he was leaving Vince was heard to mutter something about silk purses and female porkers auditory appendages.

President Ric then presented grant cheques to the following:

Eddie Vann/ TS Centaur/ 15 cadets to attend a one day survival course in Conondale.
Sue Carberry/ Friends of Pattemore House/ Furniture.
Jill Cutting/ Friends of the Library/ To buy CD book players for Erowal residents.
Cath Ovenden/ Malany Neighbourhood Centre/ Mental Health First Aid course for 50 volunteers.
Barry Smith/ Art4Place/ Ornamental sculptures and public seating.
Vince Carberry/ Maleny Croquet Club/ For the purchase of lightweight mallets and balls to enable elderly, youth and handicapped people to play.
Heatther Cameron/ Idaho Maleny/ To support their May event at the RSL.
Ron Hilton/ Maleny Players/ To allow two disadvantaged children to attend theatre classes.

PDG Eric then spoke about the role of the Rotary Foundation in aiding the funding of projects such as that evening's grants.  He congratulated the Club on this initiative and reported that a number of clubs in our District were considering following suit.  There had also been interest from the USA following a report to RI.

After a group photograph, the meeting closed.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
6th May
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Michael Wearing on Mens'House.

13th May
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

20th May
Combined Clubs meeting at USC for Rotary Scholarship Awards - Partners welcome.

27th May
Project Meeting at the Masonic Hall with $10 meal.

29&30th May
Maleny Show.

3rd June
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with our own Phillip Stark talking on My Story.

24th June
Changeover Dinner at Old Bank Cafe - Partners Night.

BIRTHDAYS FOR MAY
4th Angela Griffin  18th Cilla Vickers  23rd John Hay

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
AN ODE TO MODERN NAVIGATION        
MY SATNAV

I have a little Satnav, It sits there in my car
A Satnav is a driver's friend, it tells you where you are.
I have a little Satnav,
I've had it all my life
It's better than the normal ones, my Satnav is my wife.

It gives me full instructions, especially how to drive
"It's sixty miles an hour", it says, "You're doing sixty five".
It tells me when to stop and start, and when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever, safe to overtake.

It tells me when a light is red, and when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively, just when to intervene.
It lists the vehicles just in front, and all those to the rear
And taking this into account, it specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver, has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car, it still gives its advice.
It fills me up with counselling, each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it, and get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, makes sure I'm properly fed
It washes all my shirts and things, and keeps me warm in bed!
Despite all these advantages, and my tendency to scoff
I only wish that now and then, I could turn the bugger off.

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 4th March 2015

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 16

WEDNESDAY 4TH MARCH 2015

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Rich Hungerford on Bush Lore Australia.

APOLOGIES
Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                             4 Mar                18 Mar               1 Apr            
                   
Duty Officer         Alan W              Angela G           Jeff C     

ADO & Scribe      Mike G              Lionel T             Robin T

Registration         Bernice McL     Malcolm B          Bill H            

Fellowship           Rick V              John McL           John W
      
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER

14th March
Michael G (Leader)  Sherryl G  Chris B

28th March
Jim A (Leader)  Bill H   Ric T

11th April
Angela G (Leader)  Donna C  Andy S

MINUTES OF MEETING OF 18TH FEBRUARY
The President opened the meeting on Chinese New Year, welcoming the Year of the Sheep/Goat and jointly celebrating with his wife Jacinta who had forgone a family celebration in order to attend this meeting with Ric.

A warm welcome was extended to several guests Ram Krishna, a Rotarian from Nepal with his local supporters, Gail and Dee; one of our Paul Harris Fellows, Fran Tickle, Rotarian Brian Mason from Caloundra Pacific Club who would talk later about ROMAC, and Philip Stark, a prospective new member.  Nice to see so many women (9 in all) at the meeting, which turned out to be one of the best in recent months.

After the usual formalities, several Directors gave updates on the Club’s many projects and made some announcements:
1. The decision to sponsor the running costs of a Blackall Range Care Group car for 3 years at $1500 per annum.
2. Progress on supporting the Mens’ Shed sign
3. The community grants program
4. The Time Capsule
5. The Green Bags project, which now needed to be checked out with local retail stores
6. The need for a new member of the Calendar Committee to replace Lionel who would be travelling this year
7. The invitation to the 10 year anniversary celebration of North Blackall Range Probus Club (Members to advise Bernice if they intend to go).
8. The upcoming deadline of 28 February for District Grants
9. The reminder to pay membership fees (a bargain at $140).

After an excellent meal and the Sergeant’s usual fund raiser session, Rotarian Brian Mason updated us all about ROMAC and how valuable a project it is in changing lives by arranging treatment for diseases and deformities that could never be cured in countries such as PNG, The Solomon Islands, Vanuatu etc.

Finally, we were treated to the very interesting story of the life so far of our new member (though a Rotarian for 5 years) Chris Ross Smith whose passion in life is acting and the theatre. Educated in South Africa during the challenging apartheid years he learned such skills as hut building and, at the Gordonstoun equivalent senior school, the necessity to walk in groups of 3 in the bush so if one kid was bitten by a snake, one could go for help and the other could stay until the bitten kid died! While at University in Pietermaritzburg, as a white person he courageously demonstrated against apartheid.

After teaching for a short time in South Africa he left for England and got a scholarship to the London Drama School. Various voice coaching and acting related teaching in Zimbabwe and USA eventually led him to a senior lecturer role at the University of Cape Town where uniquely the segregation of the community was transformed into integrated voices during his courses.

Later he settled in Armidale working at the University of New England. Chris has been retired for 15 years and very sensibly recently moved to Maleny, which is a fifth the size of Armidale but had 5 times the number of cafes.

The final message at the end of a very vibrant, fun and interesting evening was to let Bernice know numbers for The Falls vocational visit the following week.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS

11th March
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

18th March
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker George Trembath on the Pachacuti Project.

25th March
Project Meeting at the Masonic Hall with $10 meal.

1st April
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Morag Gamble on the Ethos Foundation.

BIRTHDAYS FOR MARCH

5th Judy Tilley  17th Lloyd Larney  26th Rick Vickers

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY FOR MARCH

6th John & Beth Wann

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
SOME REMEMBRANCES OF HOME SCHOOLING

Most of our generation was HOME SCHOOLED in many ways.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning the house."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11 My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"