Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 18th November 2015

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 57 No. 11
WEDNESDAY 18TH NOVEMBER 2015

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Vicki Stewart of ARH.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                            18 Nov              2nd Dec                        
Duty Officer       Rick V              Chris R-S               
Assist DO          John W             Angela G                   
Registration       Malcolm B        Bernice McL    
Fellowship*       Jeff C                 Andy S        
                          Rotary               Foundation
* signals short talk on these topics
 
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
21st Nov
Malcolm B  (Leader)  Ric T  Rick V

5th December
TBA

MEETING OF 4TH NOVEMBER
President Jeff reported:
- the Melbourne Cup Lunch at Tiffany’s was a great success with an estimated profit of $6,000+ which would be divided equally between Humming Bird House and Shed The Light Nepal.
- ‘Rudolf’ would be present at the street party with a painted snow scene as a background for children’s photos.
-  ideas for the Xmas Party were called for and a reminder that the District AGM is to be held in conjunction with the TRF Seminar on Sunday.

Rick V informed members that the time capsule contents are currently on display in the library – more input from members is requested – it is planned to seal it up next week.

Bernice entertained with a rundown of the fashion parade at the Cup Lunch which was held in the chapel 20 metres from the changing area (windows modestly covered) necessitating a lot of running through the grass (not so easy in high heels) to get through the three costume changes in the time allowed.  The view (of the mountains I suppose) was magnificent, it was a fabulous day and hopefully can become an annual event for the Club. 

Jim A gave a rundown of the Calcutta results together with a detailed explanation of how it all worked for the ignorant scribe.

Our guest speaker, Jim Straker of Zero Waste, was introduced by Sherryl as a lifelong ‘garbo’ and near neighbour from Reesville who is going to explain all the ins and outs of recycling.

Jim started by outlining the incredible amount of food that is wasted throughout the world – some 30% or 19 cubic metres per person per year and the disproportionate cost of such food from $500 per week per family in the US to $1 in Chad.  In Australia it is estimated that $5 billion worth of food is wasted every year.  Most of this ends up in landfill producing dangerous gases so the essence of his presentation was on ways to reduce this – recycle, compost, worm farms, ‘bokashi’ (google bokashi for full details), mulch, and most importantly make sure what you do throw away goes in the right bin.

 The three bins (waste, recyclable, green) were demonstrated and the waste hierarchy explained – avoidance, reduce, reuse, recycle, recovery, and, as a last resort, disposal.  He then informed us that not all recyclables can be recycled – for instance plastic bags, styrofoam, and coffee cups cannot be recycled. 

The collection trucks are equipped with cameras so that drivers can monitor the contents for inappropriate items and they are taken to the Resource Recovery Centre at Nambour, staffed mostly by volunteers, and Jim explained how the items are separated and dealt with.  Tours can be arranged for those interested.  Special collection points are provided for items such as mattresses, tyres, batteries, white goods, and computer waste.  Jim ended his presentation with information on how a landfill works and how they are now installing gas recovery systems to burn the methane and CO2 although hopefully the methane will be recovered in the future for use.  Informative pamphlets were distributed to members for further information.

There were many questions regarding what could and could not be put in the recycle bin and Jim was thanked by Michael and presented with the Club’s 2016 calendar and a copy of Humanity in Motion.     

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
11th November
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

25th November
Annual General Meeting at Masonic Hall at 5:30pm with cheese and biscuits.

2nd December
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker ADG Ian Hope on Micro-finance or Christmas Cruise.

9th December
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

16th December
Christmas Party ?

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY FOR NOVEMBER
19th Mike & Sherryl

BIRTHDAYS FOR NOVEMBER
2nd Sherryl Gregory   4th Elaine Atkinson   11th Ric Townsend  25th Bill Hankinson

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
EXTRACTS FROM LETTERS WRITTEN BY BRITISH COUNCIL TENANTS TO THEIR COUNCILS

GOD BLESS UNINTENTIONAL HUMOUR

1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

2. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

3. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

4. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

5. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

6. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

7. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.

8. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

9. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces..

10. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

11. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

12. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 4th March 2015

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 16

WEDNESDAY 4TH MARCH 2015

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Rich Hungerford on Bush Lore Australia.

APOLOGIES
Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                             4 Mar                18 Mar               1 Apr            
                   
Duty Officer         Alan W              Angela G           Jeff C     

ADO & Scribe      Mike G              Lionel T             Robin T

Registration         Bernice McL     Malcolm B          Bill H            

Fellowship           Rick V              John McL           John W
      
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER

14th March
Michael G (Leader)  Sherryl G  Chris B

28th March
Jim A (Leader)  Bill H   Ric T

11th April
Angela G (Leader)  Donna C  Andy S

MINUTES OF MEETING OF 18TH FEBRUARY
The President opened the meeting on Chinese New Year, welcoming the Year of the Sheep/Goat and jointly celebrating with his wife Jacinta who had forgone a family celebration in order to attend this meeting with Ric.

A warm welcome was extended to several guests Ram Krishna, a Rotarian from Nepal with his local supporters, Gail and Dee; one of our Paul Harris Fellows, Fran Tickle, Rotarian Brian Mason from Caloundra Pacific Club who would talk later about ROMAC, and Philip Stark, a prospective new member.  Nice to see so many women (9 in all) at the meeting, which turned out to be one of the best in recent months.

After the usual formalities, several Directors gave updates on the Club’s many projects and made some announcements:
1. The decision to sponsor the running costs of a Blackall Range Care Group car for 3 years at $1500 per annum.
2. Progress on supporting the Mens’ Shed sign
3. The community grants program
4. The Time Capsule
5. The Green Bags project, which now needed to be checked out with local retail stores
6. The need for a new member of the Calendar Committee to replace Lionel who would be travelling this year
7. The invitation to the 10 year anniversary celebration of North Blackall Range Probus Club (Members to advise Bernice if they intend to go).
8. The upcoming deadline of 28 February for District Grants
9. The reminder to pay membership fees (a bargain at $140).

After an excellent meal and the Sergeant’s usual fund raiser session, Rotarian Brian Mason updated us all about ROMAC and how valuable a project it is in changing lives by arranging treatment for diseases and deformities that could never be cured in countries such as PNG, The Solomon Islands, Vanuatu etc.

Finally, we were treated to the very interesting story of the life so far of our new member (though a Rotarian for 5 years) Chris Ross Smith whose passion in life is acting and the theatre. Educated in South Africa during the challenging apartheid years he learned such skills as hut building and, at the Gordonstoun equivalent senior school, the necessity to walk in groups of 3 in the bush so if one kid was bitten by a snake, one could go for help and the other could stay until the bitten kid died! While at University in Pietermaritzburg, as a white person he courageously demonstrated against apartheid.

After teaching for a short time in South Africa he left for England and got a scholarship to the London Drama School. Various voice coaching and acting related teaching in Zimbabwe and USA eventually led him to a senior lecturer role at the University of Cape Town where uniquely the segregation of the community was transformed into integrated voices during his courses.

Later he settled in Armidale working at the University of New England. Chris has been retired for 15 years and very sensibly recently moved to Maleny, which is a fifth the size of Armidale but had 5 times the number of cafes.

The final message at the end of a very vibrant, fun and interesting evening was to let Bernice know numbers for The Falls vocational visit the following week.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS

11th March
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

18th March
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker George Trembath on the Pachacuti Project.

25th March
Project Meeting at the Masonic Hall with $10 meal.

1st April
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Morag Gamble on the Ethos Foundation.

BIRTHDAYS FOR MARCH

5th Judy Tilley  17th Lloyd Larney  26th Rick Vickers

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY FOR MARCH

6th John & Beth Wann

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
SOME REMEMBRANCES OF HOME SCHOOLING

Most of our generation was HOME SCHOOLED in many ways.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning the house."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11 My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 18th February 2015

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 15

WEDNESDAY 18TH FEBRUARY 2015

THIS WEEK'S MEETING

Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with our own Chris Ross-Smith telling his story as Guest Speaker.

APOLOGIES

Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                              18 Feb             4 Mar               18 Mar             
                   
Duty Officer           Jim A              Alan W             Angela G      

ADO & Scribe       Angela G         Mike G             Lionel T

Registration           Donna C          Bernice McL    Malcolm B            

Fellowship             Ric T               Rick V              John McL
      
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER

28th February
Lionel T (Leader)   Rick V   Donna C

14th March
Michael G (Leader)   Sherryl G   Chris B

28th March
Jim A (Leader)   Bill H    Ric T

MINUTES OF MEETING OF 4TH FEBRUARY
The President opened the meeting with a stroll down memory lane, inspired by having discovered in a forgotten draw the 1982/83 year book of the Rotary Club of Parramatta, which he had joined the previous year.  He read out a list of the rules which were somewhat different to those actually applied by us today. In that year, he was the Programme Secretary and arranged for a guest speaker from Charlie Perkins' office.  The speaker concluded that talk by claiming that the Club and its surrounding town were illegally on aboriginal land.  The next day he was asked to meet the President at lunch time and arrived to find the whole Board in session.  After counselling, he survived and is still a Rotarian to this day.

The business of the meeting began with a welcome to two guests including the guest speaker Dr Ron Palmer.  He then gave an update on Donna's shopping bag project and the possibility of sponsoring a Blackall Range Care Group vehicle.

Chris spoke about the activities of the Interact Club.  They have a membership of 11 and a full programme planned.  This year's conference is in Caboolture and we will consider sponsoring the transport costs.

Angela reported that she had formed a sub-committee for the Time Capsule project. A letter is to be sent to community groups for their input. The deadline for completion is 30th June.

Bernice advised that 8 grant applications had been received and the forms had been despatched.

Rick V reported that the Aussie Day Expo had been a success.  No decision has been taken to repeat the event next year;  the organiser has been MSRC but an Advisory Board is to be appointed.

Sergeant Chris performed his usual mixture of humour and truth distortion to the attendees detriment.

Sherryl introduced Dr Ron Palmer who has had a full and interesting life.  The following is a quote from "The Westerner".     "" Throughout his colourful life, Ronald Palmer has rubbed shoulders with war hero Weary Dunlop, artist Pro Hart and body-builder turned Hollywood star, Arnold Schwarzenegger.  The Cashmere resident has headed up a global health organisation, helped develop an anti-venom for the box jellyfish, climbed the Himalaya mountains, and run marathons.

But there was one event, more than any other, that shaped his life.  He was involved in an horrific near-fatal motorcycle crash at D’Aguilar, near Woodford, in 2000.  “A truck deviated across the road, crossed the double white lines and took me out with the bull bar,” Mr Palmer recalls.  “There was massive brain damage and multiple injuries; I had 110 (bone) fractures and 40 fractures in the jaw alone.”

He was unconscious for 32 days. A massive rehabilitation program followed a near 11-hour facial reconstruction operation. He was in hospital for three months, and then confined to a wheelchair for nine months.  It took a year for him to learn to speak adequately again.  Soon after the world-renowned expert in muscular skeletal medicine was presenting lectures across Australia and abroad. “Following all that recovery I was still able to give international lectures with up to 1600 doctors in the audience,” Mr Palmer said.  He hopes to inspire other people facing difficulties in life with his story, which is detailed in the new book, Lose? No Way!

“There is no such thing as a rehabilitation specialist. This is a misnomer,” the 75-year-old said.  “Anybody can tell you what to do. But the only person who rehabilitates you, is you. They can tell you what to do... but if you don’t do it and you don’t practice it, you don’t get better. That’s the basis of the book."”

Ron told how he met with Dr Jack Barnes in Cairns, whilst working as a locum. They carried out investigations into box jelly fish and their stings. Dr Barnes went on to discover the irukandji jelly fish which is named after him - see http://lifeinthefastlane.com/jack-barnes-and-the-irukandji-enigma/.
Ron concluded by describing his new book and his hope that it would be a help to those who read it.  Keith gave a vote of thanks on behalf of members who warmly applauded Ron.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS

25th February
Vocational visit to The Falls Rainforest Spa Cottages - Partners' Night.

26th February
The Second Best Marigold Hotel screening at Sunshine Plaza with proceeds to Polio Plus.

4th March
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Rich Hungerford on Bush Lore Australia.

11th March
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

18th March
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker George Trembath on the Pachacuti Project

BIRTHDAYS FOR FEBRUARY

2nd Shirley Larney  18th Jeff Cornfoot  28th Marlene Hankinson

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
GENESIS BROUGHT UP TO DATE
A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car.  Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them was hurt.

After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said, "Wow, just look at our cars!  There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!".

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his  head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police..."

Man never learned - Adam fell for the same trick.