Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 7th October 2015

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 57 No. 8

WEDNESDAY 7TH OCTOBER 2015

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm for the Official Visit of the DG - Partners' Night.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                         7th Oct            21st Oct                            
Duty Officer     Jim A               Ric T                
Assist DO        Keith R           Alan W                   
Registration     Andy S           Lionel T     
Fellowship*     Angela G        Chris B        
 * includes 5 minute Rotary talk

SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
10th Oct
Mike G  (Leader)  Sherryl G  Angela G

24th Oct
Lionel T  (Leader)  John W  Andy S

MEETING OF 16TH SEPTEMBER
President Jeff opened the meeting by welcoming our guests Jane Millar and her mother.  He then inducted former Club member David Fraser who said that he was glad to return.


 He mentioned that he had a number of photographs from the period of his previous from 2000 to 2008 and offered to show these at a future meeting.

Reports received:
- Push for ticket sales needed  for the Melbourne Cup lunch at Tiffany's.
- Car parking duties at Witta Fest on 19th September.
- Historical Society Pioneer Day on 20th September.
- Meeting of 23rd September in the Masonic Hall will be trialled at 6pm with cheese and biscuits.
- Treasurer Jim reported that the gross revenue from the Real Food Festival parking was $3,609.  This was more than a third lower than the two previousyears.
- The Board had approved a donation of US$100 per member to RF and A$2,000 to Polio Plus.
- Angela reported that the Board had agreed that the following 5 minute talks will be trialled monthly at Club dinner meetings – 1st meeting Foundation, 2nd meeting Rotary. Speakers will be rostered as Fellowship.
- Calendars are now on sale. Volunteers needed to man the Maple Street kiosk on 19th September.
- Mike G spoke about Rotary information and urged members to take up rotary.org registration and take advantage of the opportunities that this offered.

President Jeff then introduced Jane Millar, a year 11 student at Maleny High.  Jane has been selected to attend the NYSF at Canberra in January.  She explained the interview process and outlined her interest in physics and robotics. Her mother thanked the Club for sponsoring Jane and mentioned what adifference being successfully selected had made to her daughter.

The Sergeant's duties were shared by Chris and Bill with the usual result for members.

The guest speaker was Club member Dr CL Claridge who, with the assistance of her husband, gave a talk about Shed The Light Nepal which was accompanied by a rolling slide show. Shed the Light Incorporated is a registered charity established in February 2001 at Kenilworth. The organisation was founded by Suzanne Kupiak after travelling to Nepal in 2000. When she witnessed the poverty there, she came home determinated to help.  With local assistance she was able to open an op shop selling clothes from a charity collection system.

After six months of running the shop, Suzanne returned to Nepal and set up the first orphans' home in Kathmandu. Within 18 months 17 children had been settled there. The children were cared for by local house parents, given good quality food, and started their education.  There was a Nepali committee overseeing the children's home and connecting Suzanne to Nepalese culture.  These children have finished their education and are now qualified.  A new batch will start education this year.

Cl outlined other projects undertaken by the organisation. These included:
- training women in sewing and garment making so that they can become self sufficient; the garments are available for sale at the Nepali shop in Maple Street.
- providing a regular meal for street kids in Katmandhu.
- running a three months course for women in setting up a small business.
- designing and delivering emergency buildings post the earthquake.  This section was illustrated with slides which showed the extent of the devastation and the extreme difficulty of getting building materials to some isolated villages.

All of the above activities are funded from the Maleny and Kenilworth shops with support from donations from the general public.  Shed The Light will be one of the beneficiaries of the Melbourne Cup lunch.

There were many questions and CL was thanked to general acclaim.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
14th October
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

21st October
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Nicole Hilton of Maleny Credit Union.

28th October
Project Meeting at the Masonic Hall with format to be confirmed.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY FOR OCTOBER
26th Rick and Cilla

BIRTHDAYS FOR OCTOBER
12th Gloria Rogers  14th Keith Rogers  28th Bernice McLennan  30th Andy Schouteten 

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
A REFLECTION ON THE EFFECTIVE USE OF WORDS

Pythagoras' Theorem: 24 words
Lord's Prayer: 66 words
Archimedes' Principle: 67 words
Ten Commandments: 179 words
Gettysburg Address: 286 words
US Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words
US Constitution including Amendments: 7,818 words
EU regulation on the sale of cabbages: 26,911 words

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 16th September 2015

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 57 No. 6
WEDNESDAY 16TH SEPTEMBER 2015

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker our own Dr CL Claridge on My Story.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                       16th Sep           7th Oct            21st Oct           
                   
Duty Officer   Malcolm B         Jim A               Ric T                
Assist DO       Donna C           Keith R            Alan W                   
Registration    Bernice McL     Andy S            Lionel T     
Fellowship      Keith R             Angela G         Chris B        
 
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
26th Sep
Jim A  (Leader)  Jeff C  Angela G

10th Oct
Mike G  (Leader)  Sherryl G  Keith R

24th Oct
Lionel T  (Leader)  John W  Andy S

MEETING OF 2ND SEPTEMBER
President Jeff welcomed guest and former Rotarian David Fraser, guest speaker Richard Giles and 18 members of the Club and thanked all those who attended the Assembly the week before – the highest attendance for many years. He also urged members to spruik and attend the Club’s Melbourne Cup event on 3 November at Tiffany’s on Mountain View Road.  Flyers would soon be ready to advertise the event and, Tim Abbott, the MC was a real life marriage celebrant so there could even be a chance to get married again-  “once is enough” exclaimed Lionel!

Alan Wilson attended the District seminar on membership and briefed members encouraging them to help in identifying potential new members.

Other announcements included: the Cluster plan for a music event at Eudlo Hall, opening of the peace sculptures on the new Precinct boardwalk, photo on the Bridge over the Obi at the Showgrounds, selling calendars from the kiosk on 19 Sept, and thanks to those who had helped to hang the photos at Maple 3. Rick reported that Nyla Mills design for the Rotary bags had been selected and would now proceed to production. Bernice sought volunteers to do the BBQ at 20 Sept Pioneer Day.

As the first 5 minute Rotary Education slot introduced by the new President, Michael Gregory provided information about RI’s three goals for 2015/16 – stronger clubs, greater impact on polio and humanitarian service, raising awareness of Rotary’s contribution to good in the world.

Chris B extracted the usual huge fines for questionable improprieties since the last meeting. Bill won the Heads and Tails.

Our guest, Richard Giles the locally based expert in Fung Shui (translated literally as wind and water), provided fascinating insights into the 5000 yr old Chinese philosophical system of harmonizing everyone with their surrounding environment.  He explained that in assessing a building (which could take up to 6 hours for which he charged $490) he used a unique type of Chinese compass to determine the best positioning to retain positive energy – Qi (pronounced Chi).

Samples of the most important factors included:
1.    the positioning and colour of the front door – red front doors were especially harmonising (lucky the scribe has a red door!).
2.    avoiding obstructions on paths and walkways e g pillars outside doors.
3.    in bedrooms it was important to properly position the back of the bed and in offices not have one’s back to the door nor a fan overhead, which would be equivalent to blades cutting through you.

Richard finished by referring to 2015/16 as being the year of the goat or sheep – usually meaning pacifier or moderator – which it would be hoped would click in soon bearing in mind the current global challenges of conflict, suffering and environmental degradation affecting us all.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
23rd September
Project Meeting at the Masonic Hall with $10 meal.

30th September
Vocational Visit to be confirmed.

7th October
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm for Official Visit of DG - Partners' Night.

14th October
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

21st October
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Nicole Hilton of Maleny Credit Union.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR SEPTEMBER
4th John & Bernice McLennan  18th Andy & Mia Schouteten  28th Keith & Gloria Rogers

BIRTHDAY FOR SEPTEMBER
17th Judi Ross-Smith 29th Mia Schouteten

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
A NEW VIEW OF THE WORLD IN WHICH WE LIVE

WELCOME to 2015:

 . Our Phones - Wireless
 . Cooking - Fireless
 . Cars - Keyless
 . Food - Fatless
 . Tyres -Tubeless
 . Dress - Sleeveless
 . Youth - Jobless
 . Leaders - Shameless
 . Relationships - Meaningless
 . Attitudes - Careless
 . Babies - Fatherless
 . Feelings - Heartless
 . Education - Valueless
 . Children - Mannerless
 . Country - Godless

 We are SPEECHLESS,
 Government is CLUELESS,

 And our Politicians are WORTHLESS !

 I'm scared - S...less

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 2nd September 2015

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 57 No. 6
WEDNESDAY 2ND SEPTEMBER 2015

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Richard Giles on Feng Shui and other interests.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                       2nd Sep         16th Sep             7th Oct           
                   
Duty Officer   Chris B         Malcolm B         Jim A                 
Assist DO      Angela G      Donna C            Keith R                    
Registration   Bill H            Bernice McL      Andy S     
Fellowship     Keith R         John McL          Angela G        
 
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
12th Sep
Jim A  (Leader)  Jeff C   Angela G

10th Sep
Mike G  (Leader)  Sherryl G  Keith R


MEETING OF 19TH AUGUST
 The guest speaker for the evening was Sabine Wienand who spoke about her involvement in the development of the wild Australian native foods industry.  Sabine, who is originally from Hamburg in Germany, said that she was introduced to Australian native foods in the early 1990’s and she was struck by its fresh and exciting flavours. Since then she has been instrumental in the development and marketing of these foods both here and overseas – including promotional tours to Germany, Denmark and Singapore.

With her knowledge of indigenous culture and native foods, she founded the firm Basically Wild creating her own range of products using new and different native foods, some grown by and purchased directly from Aboriginal communities and others coming from growers setting high standards in organic produce. What sets Australian native foods apart from other exotic foods is its different appearance and its very high nutritional value especially very high antioxidant properties.

Sabine indicated that she was recently voted to represent Queensland as a Director on the board of ANFIL, the national Native Food Industry body.  Phillip S thanked the guest speaker for giving us a glimpse into her very interesting life at the forefront in the development of the native food industry.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
2nd September
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Richard Giles on Feng Shui and other interests.

9th September
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

12&13th September
Parking duties at Real Food Festival.

16th September
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker our own Dr CL Claridge on My Story.

23rd September
Project Meeting at the Masonic Hall with $10 meal.

30th September
Vocational Visit to be confirmed.

7th October
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm for Official Visit of DG - Partners' Night.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR SEPTEMBER
4th John & Bernice McLennan  18th Andy & Mia Schouteten   28th Keith & Gloria Rogers

BIRTHDAYS FOR SEPTEMBER
17th Judi Ross-Smith  29th Mia Schouteten

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
A CAUTIONARY MEDICAL TALE
TONSILS OUT VERSUS CIRCUMCISION

Two little boys are going to the hospital the next day for operations. They will be first on the schedule.

The older boy leans over and asks, "What are you having done?"

The second boy says, "I'm getting my tonsils out, and I'm afraid."

The first boy says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four.  They put you to sleep, and when you wake up, they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream.

It's a breeze."

The second boy then asks,
"What are you going in for?"

The first boy says, "Circumcision."

"Whoa!" the smaller boy replies.

"Good luck, mate. I had that done when I was born.

Couldn't walk for a year."

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 19th August 2015

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 57 No. 5
WEDNESDAY 19TH AUGUST 2015

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Sabine Wienand on Basically Wild.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                          19th Aug        2nd Sep        16th Sep           
                   
Duty Officer      Rick V            Chris B          Malcolm B                 
Assist DO         Phillip S          Angela G       Donna C                    
Registration      Lionel T          Bill H             Bernice McL     
Fellowship       Alan W            Keith R          John McL        
 
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
29th Aug
Chris B  (Leader)   Rick V   Chris R-S

12th Sep
Jim A  (Leader)  Jeff C   Angela G

MEETING OF 5TH AUGUST
President Jeff Cornfoot opened the meeting by welcoming a large group of members, partners, Friends of Rotary and our guest speaker.

It was a pleasure for the club to welcome back former Maleny High student and Interactor, Brody Foy. It was a chance for the club and many guests to congratulate Brody who is Queensland’s 2015 Rhodes Scholar. Since leaving Maleny High, Brody who was joint dux in his graduating year, has completed an Honours Degree in Computational Mathematics at QUT. He gained the highest possible grades in all units. He plans to put his maths mastery to good use by helping advance our understanding of cancer. He heads to England in September to take a PhD in Mathematics at Oxford University, modelling the spread of lung cancer.

The Rhodes Scholarship is the world’s most sought after scholarship, and gives Brody the opportunity to study in one of the world’s most prestigious universities. It was certainly a privilege to hear from him first hand, the journey he has taken to achieve this honour, and his plans for his study at Oxford. It was also opportune that some present Interact students, former Principal Brian King, and other Maleny High staff were able to attend the meeting.

How did Brody get drawn into the Rhodes Scholarship? Only one student from each state is chosen each year. The selection criteria covers not only exceptionally high academic ability, but community involvement, high energy, and the potential to go on and change the world. Brody had all of these qualities and it was certainly motivating and inspirational to hear of all the activities he has been involved in while at university, as well as to hear of his love of maths and his aim to use maths to solve some of the world’s problems.

Brody worked as a volunteer tutor, mentored QUT College of Excellence students, revived the dormant QUT Mathematics student society, and also worked as a QUT student ambassador and many many more volunteer activities. In 2014 he was recognised with the title, QUT Student Leader of the Year, as well as the award for QUT Volunteer of the Year. He also plays the acoustic guitar and did a stand up comedy course, performing around some bars in Brisbane. He credits his love of volunteering to his time in the Interact club where he learnt to connect with people. He thanked Brian King and the staff of Maleny High for giving him his love of learning, by explaining why he was learning things. His said his leadership opportunities at school also enhanced his development as a person.

It was fascinating to hear Brody expand on why he loves mathematics so much. He said a lot of people have a misunderstanding about the purpose of maths. Some people can’t understand how maths can be related to lung cancer. He said that Physics and Chemistry as subjects are really applied maths. Brody explained that he wants to build a computer simulation of the lungs, so that he can test all sorts of new ideas, which could lead to computer diagnosis of lung cancer.

His presentation stimulated many questions. Some related to his future aspirations – politics maybe, as two former Rhodes Scholars became Prime Ministers of  Australia. He certainly is a young man who will go far and we were all proud as Rotarians and hinterland residents, that he was a local boy now with the world at his feet.

DONATION TO THE RANGE CROQUET CLUB

Last week The Range Croquet Club took possession and unveiled their much anticipated set of six special mallets and croquet balls. The mallets have beenmodified to suit the abilities of the members of the Blackall Range Care Group as well as groups from surrounding retirement homes currently playing at the club on a monthly basis.

As part of the club’s goal of benefiting the community through engagement, they regularly provide activities to suit all abilities and disabilities, both physical and intellectual.  They are aware that normal mallets are not suitable for all people, particularly the aged, young children and people in
wheelchairs and mobility walkers. The standard mallets are relatively heavy and can be difficult to wield.  The care group visitors get a lot of enjoyment from participating and the club wished to foster as much enjoyment as possible for visits.

The club had applied for one of the recent community grants offered by Maleny Rotary and were successful in their application. Jeff Cornfoot, current President of Rotary Maleny was delighted that the grant funding for each successful applicant has touched so many different parts of the community and in unique ways. The grant covered the purchase of the set of balls and four mallets but with a discount from the custom maker, the club was able to throw in some additional funds and purchase two more. The six special mallets benefit all members of the community, special care groups, retirement groups as well as local school children who all attend their "come and try" days.

They actively host the Blackall Range Care group monthly, the Little Mountain retirement group, and many bunches of caravan groups who visit the area.  “We are aware of the increasing ageing population of Maleny, and surrounds and want to be able to continue to meet the needs of all the community”.  President Vince Carbery also noted that the club provides board games if the weather is inclement when the Blackall Range Care Group attend.

The Range Croquet members are very grateful and wish to recognise the support of the Rotary Club of Maleny for their generous grant. It was noticed that each mallet had a small plaque on the each of the six mallets and on the box of balls to identify and acknowledge the generosity of the Rotary Club of Maleny as the donor.

Jeff and Rick with members of the Croquet Club and BRCG visitors

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
26th August
Project Meeting at the Masonic Hall with $10 meal.

2nd September
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Richard Giles on Feng Shui and other interests.

9th September
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

12&13th September
Parking duties at Real Food Festival.

16th September
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker our own Dr CL Claridge on My Story.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR AUGUST
15th  Phillip and Janice Stark  29th Angela and Mike

BIRTHDAYS FOR AUGUST
17th Malcolm Baker  20th Jocelyn Brooker  28th Lionel Tilley

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
THIS WEEK TWO ITEMS ON WORD USAGE
FIRSTLY SOME PUNS

•       How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

•       Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

•       A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

•       I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

•       England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

•       I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

•       They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

•       I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

•       Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.

•       I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

•       I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

•       This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

SECONDLY AN EXTRACT FROM A SCHOOL LITERACY REPORT

Educational professionals are concerned that an increasing number of school children now believe that "Australia middle order collapse" is all one word.

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 5th August 2015

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 57 No. 4

WEDNESDAY 5TH AUGUST 2015

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Brody Foy on his Rhodes Scholarship.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                       5th Aug           19th Aug              2nd Sep           
                   
Duty Officer   Michael G        Rick V               Chris B                 
Assist DO      Sherryl G          Phillip S            Angela G                    
Registration   John McL         Lionel T             Bill H     
Fellowship     Bernice Mcl      Alan W             Keith R        
 
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
15th Aug
Malcolm B (Leader)   Bill H   Ric T

29th Aug
Chris B  (Leader)   Rick V   Chris R-S

MEETING OF 15TH JULY
President Jeff Cornfoot opened the meeting by welcoming members and our Guest Speaker Kelly Tilse together with her father David. He announced that:
- the duties of Sergeant would be rotated on a monthly basis.
- a membership satisfaction survey form was being circulated for all members to complete.
- the meeting of 29th July would be held at the hotel.

Treasurer Jim announced that notices for dues had been dispatched.

Bernice asked for two volunteers to join Phillip who was one his own at the next sausage sizzle - Alan and Keith obliged.

Donna said that she was looking for two more entrants for the shopping bag design competition.

It was reported that there were two unfilled advertising spots in this year's calendar.  Our Guest Speaker Kelly immediately agreed to take one.

Our Guest Speakers Kelly and her father David spoke about Weddings at Tiffany's.  Kelly, her husband and parents are co-owners of this business which was established in June 2011.  They leased the building that had traded as Malcolm's Restaurant and built a wedding chapel.  They offer a comprehensive wedding package in an all weather venue.

Kelly, who has been a florist for many years, is the dedicated Function Coordinator and offers more than 20 years expertise as a floral designer and wedding planner. She has been helping brides locally with their wedding requirements for 4 years and is committed to running a seamless and professional service, aided by her partners and a staff of 30.

She explained that the wedding industry was worth about $50 million a year in the Hinterland with mostly out of town customers.  Tiffany's average function will have 80 to 100 guests and they will host an average of 3 weddings per week.

Keith R thanked the guest speakers and congratulated them on the creation of their successful business.

Meeting closed at 8.40pm

BLACKALL RANGE CARE GROUP
President Jeff and Secretary Jim presented a cheque for $2000 to BRGC to assist them with the costs of running a nurse's vehicle.  This will be followed by donations of $1500 over the next two years.  This donation featured on the front page of the Glasshouse Country and Maleny News of 29th July under the by-line of "Turning pumpkins into petrol".  It explained how sales of pumpkin soup at the show have contributed to this donation.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
12th August
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

19th August
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Sabine Wienand on Basically Wild.

26th August
Project Meeting at the Masonic Hall with $10 meal.

2nd September
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Richard Giles on Feng Shui and other interests.

9th September
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

12&13th September
Parking duties at Real Food Festival.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR AUGUST
15th  Phillip and Janice Stark  29th Angela and Mike

BIRTHDAYS FOR AUGUST
17th Malcolm Baker  20th Jocelyn Brooker  28th Lionel Tilley

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
FROM AN INTERNATIONAL ECONOMIC EXPERT

THE GREEK BAILOUT PROBLEM EXPLAINED

It is a slow day in a little Greek Village. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted.

Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.

The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the utcher.

The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer.

The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.

The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the tavern.

The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him "services" on credit.

The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.

The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, takes the money, and leaves town.

No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the bailout package works.

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 15th July 2015

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 57 No. 2
WEDNESDAY 15th July 2015

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Kelly Tilse and Father on Weddings at Tiffany’s.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                           15th Jul                    5th Aug           
                   
Duty Officer      Lionel T                  Michael G                 
Assist DO         Keith R                   Sherryl G                    
Registration      Malcolm B             John McL     
Fellowship        Andy S                   Bernice Mcl        
 
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
18 July
Michael and Sherryl G (Leader)   Phillip S

1 August
John and Bernice McL (Leader)   Lionel T

TERRY LEE RIP
Those members who knew him will have been saddened to hear of his recent death in Maleny Hospital.  Terry was a member of our Club in the late 1980's.  The Club expresses its condolences to his family.

MEETING OF 1ST JULY
Meeting opened at 7pm by President Jeff Cornfoot.

Immediate Past President Ric Townsend gave the following report:
a.Men’s Shed Sign is up.
b.Men’s Shed to negotiate with church about their lease. A 20x9 slab to be built.
c.Member Donna's Bag Project; 4-6 entries have been received to judged by 15/7/2015 with results known by 31/7/2015.

Director Lionel Tilley Report:
a.Spoke about Rotary Calendars. Advised that 92 photo entries received in total. 13 entries were accepted by judges for final calendar.
b.Rotary Foundation Meeting 12/7/2015 –St Columban’s College Caboolture.

Director Chris Brooker Report:
Parking attendees for Muscle on the Mountain needed. 5 members volunteered.

Treasurer Jim Atkinson introduced Guest Speaker Rachael Lockman whose presentation was ‘Get Active’.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, my name is Rachel Lockman.  I would firstly like to thank you for your invite and for giving me the opportunity to speak to you about my business ‘Get Active’ Fitness and Personal Training.  I am a personal trainer with a certificate IV in fitness.  I do one on one personal training and group fitness.   I run personal training programs specially tailored to clients’ needs and individual lifestyle and goals.  The group fitness is a great social, cost effective, fun way to get fit that still gives great results. You start to get a feeling of family with the people at the group fitness and they bounce off each other and encourage each other with their goals and their achievements and help push each other that bit further with a bit of friendly fun competition.  I help people achieve their goals in a safe and professional manner; I make your goals become my goals.

I first started my own fitness mission when my son was 7 months. I, like a lot of other Mothers, had post baby weight on me and was under the false assumption that I was reasonably fit because I did a lot of walking.  I got a slap in the face with the reality of how unfit I really was after I did my first proper workout; I was so sore and stiff for days after. I pushed through the pain and just kept going until I became very addicted to the whole lifestyle. I love being fit and healthy myself and I wanted to help others to feel the same.  Being fit and healthy helps with all aspects of your life - sleep, work, parenting even depression and other health issues.  So I decided to get the qualifications to do just that. I love seeing how happy it makes people to see the scales going down, to fit into old clothes they thought they would never get into again, to start sleeping better, to be able to play with their children and to be able to physically do things that they previously couldn’t.  Basically I love the feeling it gives me to see people achieve their goals and change their lifestyle.
 
I know what it feels like to not be able to just do what you want when you want due to health issues.  I was previously diagnosed with unexplained nocturnal frontal lobe epilepsy. I never knew when I was going to wake up and be told ‘Its OK Rach, you’ve just had another seizure.  The ambulance is on its way’. I lost my job, my licence and my feeling of general safety and freedom.  I was stuck in this place for 7 to 8 years never knowing when I was going to have another seizure and not knowing why I was even having them.  Every time I would have one, I couldn’t eat properly from a sore tongue from biting it and had a drumming foggy headache for days after.  When the doctors eventually found the medication to help me, I was sceptical but very excited at the idea of having a normal life again. After 3 months of being seizure free I could see hope to be able think about the future and what I wanted to do with It, not just get through another day. I wanted to put 110% into every venture that I had from then on particularly my health, and since doing just that I have so much more energy, I feel better and am happier overall. I got the reality of the saying life is too short; if there is something you want to do, Just Do It.

I started off with my own health goals and it turned into a passion and an addiction, and I am healthier, happier and fitter than I ever have been in my life. So I wanted to share my knowledge and help other people turn their lives around.  I have been running ‘Get Active’ for nearly a year now and have had many success stories already; one was a local lady that had her daughter’s wedding coming up in 3 months and she said she really wanted to lose a couple of kilos because she wanted to feel OK in a dress she have had put aside for her baby's wedding.  I did personal training with her and she also attended group training. She lost 6kg by the wedding and felt amazing, and had to get the dress taken in because it ended up being too big on her.  I got a text message from her on the day saying thank you over and over again and that she felt so good about herself and that everyone keeps telling her she looks amazing; she said she hasn’t been that fit and healthy since she was a teenager.  It put a big smile on my face and I said this is why I am doing this, I love my job.

I have many ideas for the future of ‘Get Active’ Fitness, one of them being a kids after school fun and affordable boot camp. Only 25% of children meet the recommended level of activity outside school hours. Obesity in children is becoming just a normal thing in our day and a large health issue.  It would also improve children’s general fitness and ability with any extra curriculum sports that they might already do. I am also going to start studying to get a certificate in advanced nutrition and diet, because nutrition is a huge part of being fit and healthy.

I want to continue to learn more, study further and I want to achieve my own goals, one of them being running a successful business in a town that I grew up in and love and in an industry that I love. I want to be a good influence on my children and for them to be able to be proud to call me their Mamma. I can’t emphasis enough the importance of taking care of your health and having goals in life and writing them down, so they don’t just become ‘dreams’.

Life’s too short so Just Do It!  

Member Alan Wilson thanked the guest speaker.

President Jeff Cornfoot advised there was a Board Meeting next week and the meeting closed at 8.30pm.

MUSCLE ON THE MOUNTAIN
A thank you to Chris and his team of volunteers for their car parking efforts at this event.  Our normally ebullient and cheerful sergeant's bonhommie was sorely tested by some attendees as his subsequent note to his team shows.  This is reproduced below without permission.

"I once was of the mistaken belief that when I stopped working for a living, I somehow stopped work....today disproved that idea once and for all !!

Apart from that little rant, thoroughly enjoyed myself today, did all my walking for the day, even some aerobics with the arm pointing. Heard of one bloke who was photographing all the Show Cars, he was up to 649 and still had two rows to go.

Congratulations and thanks to all our team who had some trying circumstances (some d@#kwit parked across the gate to the SES area, motor bikes parked across the front of croquet and a huge empty space behind them), but still managed to overcome any adversities. I’ll have another yarn to Col and once again ask that we be included in any post-event discussions".

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
22nd July
Project Meeting at the Masonic Hall with $10 meal.

29th July
Vocational visit TBC.

5th August
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Brody Foy on Rhodes Scholarship.

12th August
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

19th August
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Sabine Wienand on Basically Wild.

12&13th September
Parking duties at Real Food Festival.

BIRTHDAYS FOR JULY
11th Jacinta Townsend  20th Beth Wann

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
A WARNING FROM OUR IT ADVISER

This virus is inevitable, unstoppable, if you don't have it yet, you will ....

 

He thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus.  Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one.  It appears to affect those more who were born prior to 1950.


Symptoms:

1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.  Done that!

2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail!  That too!

3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person.  Yep!

4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you.  Aha!

5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.  Well darn!

6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished.  Oh no - not again!

7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND."  And I just hate that!

8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE."  Oh No!

IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS."

PS Have I already sent this to you?

Or did you send it to me?

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 1st July 2015

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 57 No. 1

WEDNESDAY 1st July 2015

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Rachel Lockman on Fitness.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Jim before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                            1st Jul            15th Jul            5th Aug    
                   
Duty Officer        Jim A              Lionel T           Michael G                 
Assist DO           Alan W           Ric T                Sherryl G                    
Registration        John W          Malcolm B       John McL     
Fellowship          Keith R           Andy S            Bernice Mcl        
 
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
4 July
Jim A (Leader)  John W   Keith R

18 July
Michael and Sherryl G (Leader)   Phillip S

1 August
John and Bernice McL (Leader)   Lionel T
 
CHANGEOVER NIGHT OF 24TH JUNE

A pleasant and successful evening was held at the Old Bank Cafe.  The outgoing President Ric Townsend welcomed past, present and honorary members together with their partners plus other guests.  After an excellent meal, Jeff Cornfoot was installed as our President for the new Rotary year to general acclaim.

The New Team

MINUTES OF MEETING OF 17TH JUNE
Meeting opened by President Ric (his penultimate meeting) and he introduced our member Phillip Stark as guest speaker.

President Ric also covered the Historical Society sign (nearly there), thank you letters to Interact members, Low Cost Housing meeting at Neighbourhood Centre and something else the Scribe is now unable to read.

Chris B gave a brief report on Bike Ed at Montville, unfortunately it turns out we can’t do it as we don’t have necessary training certificates issued by Cycling Australia.

Chris B also did a scintillating Sergeant's session fining all and sundry; some fines had a grain of truth but most were figments of a suspect imagination.

After the break, Rick V introduced Phillip who gave an off the cuff talk on his life.  Phillip was born in Ipswich in 1952, where his father, an ex WW11 soldier, worked a dairy farm near Millbourne. He attended school up to Year 10 (Junior), applied for the Air Force, missed out due to deafness, went back to school, applied for and won a position with Ipswich City Council as cadet Health Surveyor and was called up for National Service but deferred.

He transferred to Gold Coast City Council at Coolangatta and met his wife Janice in Brisbane mid 1975. He then moved north to Mulgrave Shire Council, finished High School, completed a Bachelor of Business and then a double degree in Accounting and Local Government. He was appointed Chief Environmental Health Officer, off again to Atherton Shire Council as Deputy Shire Clerk.  He developed an interest in regional affairs with other like minded officers and was appointed CEO in 2001 until 2008 when local councils were amalgamated.

Phillip said these were very rewarding years with investigation and implementation of a shared services model based on Armidale Council. He took his redundancy and began as Finance Officer with Cassowary Coast Council, rose to Director of Corporate Services until 2009 when he moved further south to the Sunshine Coast hinterland. Phillip has done some consulting work with various councils up till 2014.

In his private life, he and Janice have travelled extensively throughout the world and have an avid interest in photography and gardening as well as children and grandchildren.  A vote of thanks was proposed by Chris Brooker.

And then we all went home to watch Queensland get beaten by NSW in State of Origin and, except for a couple of unbelievers, suffered depression for the rest of the week.

REPORT FROM MIRANDA REW-DUFFY ON HER SOUTH AFRICAN TRIP
I came and talked to Maleny Rotary Club in November last about my proposed volunteering trip to South Africa to help with wildlife conservation. I thought it was about time I let everyone know how it went, as you were all so supportive of me. I would be happy to come and talk to you all about it and show you some photos but it may be hard to arrange a time that suits, so I will mention a few of the highlights of my trip.

I spent two weeks at Masebe Nature Reserve, which is five hours drive north of Johannesberg, in the Watersberg district. Masebe was a breathtaking place with amazing sandstone cliffs and savannah country. Along with twelve other volunteers I helped carry out research on the types of vegetation and also the species that were present in the park. This will be used to determine what and how many animals the reserve can support. In the past it was heavily poached and many animals need to be reintroduced once again, now that poaching is under control.

Every morning we got up at 5am, had breakfast and watched the sun rise, then jumped onto the back of utes (or bakkies) and headed out into the reserve. This is the best time of day to see Africa, and we often waved to locals along the road too. Babboons, chameleons, wildebeast, zebra and impala were a common sight, and if we were lucky we might see a giraffe, mongoose, hyena or jackal. Some days we also visited the surrounding villages and schools, where we got to meet the locals and also talk about conservation. The people were some of the happiest and most welcoming of souls I've ever met.

Overall South Africa was an amazing experience that I will never forget. I have made life-long friends, and have become even more passionate about the importance of wildlife conservation. I am currently applying to volunteer at Australia Zoo to get even more experience.

I would like to thank Maleny Rotary Club once again for their generous contribution. I am forever grateful.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
8th July
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

15th July
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Kelly Tilse and Father on Weddings at Tiffany’s.

22nd July
Project Meeting at the Masonic Hall with $10 meal.

29th July
Vocational visit TBC.

5th August
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Brody Foy on Rhodes Scholarship.

12&13th September
Parking duties at Real Food Festival.

BIRTHDAYS FOR JULY
11th Jacinta Townsend  20th Beth Wann

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
A CAUTIONARY TALE FROM FINANCIAL CORRESPONDENT

A father walks into a restaurant with his young son.

He gives the young boy three 10c coins to play with to keep him occupied.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking and going blue in the face....

The father realises the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back....

The boy coughs up 2 of the 10c's but is still choking.

Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully pulls down his pants; takes hold of the boy's' testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.. tighter and tighter !!!

After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last of the 10c's, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "


'No,' the woman replied.

'I'm with the Australian Tax Office.'

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 1st October 2014

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 7

WEDNESDAY 1ST OCTOBER 2014

THIS WEEK'S MEETING

Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Professor Nita Nestor on Botanical Art.

APOLOGIES

Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                                1 Oct               15 Oct                  
                   
Duty Officer             Bill H              Lionel T                  

Registration             Donna C        Sherryl G

ADO & Scribe          Ric T             Malcolm B
         
Fellowship                                      John McL 
 
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER

11th October
Malcolm Baker (Leader)  Ric Townsend   Donna Cervantes

25th October
Bernice & John McL (Leader)  Robin Thorne

MINUTES OF MEETING OF LAST MEETING

The usual suspects were welcomed by President Ric and, after the usual formalities, he sought two teams of 4 volunteers to help out at the Maleny Historical Society events on 27/28 Sept – 100 lunches (burgers) on 27th and 200 breakfasts (bacon and egg) on 28th.  Bernice offered to be leader on both days. Other volunteers to contact Bernice.

Rotary’s enviable catering skills were also in demand for Sunday 5th October when President Ric would lead a sausage sizzle team for Pioneer Day.
Chris B offered to vault his back fence to help out. Ouch!

President Ric then surprised Bernice with a Rotary Award for introducing a new member and encouraged other members to do the same. As nothing’s for free, President Ric then passed the invoice for the award onto the Treasurer!

The other Rick then reminded the Club about the Mary Cairncross Building Renovations Information Day from 10 till 4 on 27th Sept when SSCC would be seeking feedback on plans.  More information on Council website.

Treasurer Jim advised that the collection from the car parking for the Real Food Festival had been good, though not quite to the level of last year. Nevertheless, Chris B confirmed that this event was the third highest annual income earner for the Club and great for publicity for Rotary and socializing.
Treasurer Jim also confirmed that he had attended a Christmas Carnival organizing meeting (attended only by him and one other) and that the Carnival Day would be 13 December. He confirmed that the Club’s feedback last year about the need to curb the number of private trader stalls had been acknowledged.

Secretary Bernice asked for ideas on what the Club should do this year to celebrate Xmas.

After a meal of curries or roast pork or calamari, Jeff Cornfoot introduced Leo Phelan who talked to us silly old goats about his new “rent - a - goat” service for eradicating weeds in overgrown landholdings. With the help of photographs and video, Leo shared with us how his new approach, which is widely used in USA particularly in bush fire prone areas in California, is an eco friendly way to assist governments and private landowners to responsibly manage their land and eradicate noxious weed  invasion such as the Japanese Sunflower.
Leo had bought 50 goats of the type used in the US, who were then corralled into 10 acre electro fenced cells (roughly 3 cells cover 30 acres) and allowed to roam protected from predators by two loyal white Maremma sheepdogs.



The goats did a mighty fine job of eating everything. They can eat 5- 15% of their body weight in one day ruminating 24/7 with no complaints. In one week a group of 50 can clear 40 tons, with the added bonus of enriching the land from the other end leaving it in prime condition for revegetation by native, non noxious plants or productive plantings.  The cost worked out at an average of $1000 per acre.
 
Leo was working hard to try and persuade governments to use his eco friendly goats for managing and revegetating national and state land holdings and he had pilots operating in the Hunchy area.
Leo was thanked by Angela for his extremely interesting talk that demonstrated how it is possible to use more natural means of land care offering a welcome alternative to risky herbicides and pesticides. So much more sensible to use the eco friendly, goat friendly approach – just like our forbears. 

At the end of the meeting members were reminded of the vocational meeting the following week at the IGA, followed by dinner.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS


8th October
Masonic Hall for Board Meeting.

15th October
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm for Official DG's Visit with Partners welcome.

22nd October
Masonic Hall at 6:30 for 7:00pm for Project Meeting - $10 meal.

29th October
Vocational visit to The Falls Rainforest Spa Cottages - Partners'Night.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY FOR OCTOBER
26th Rick and Cilla

BIRTHDAYS FOR OCTOBER
12th Gloria Rogers  14th Keith Rogers  28th Bernice McLennan  30th Andy Schouteten 

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT

WITH TELECOMMUNICATIONS CURRENTLY BEING A HOT TOPIC LOCALLY, A STORY OF PROGRESS FROM INTERSTATE

THE IRISH CONTRACTING FOR TELSTRA!

TELSTRA needed to hire a team of telephone pole installers for the Stuart Highway and McMurray and the boss had to choose between a team of two guys from Port Pirie and a team of two Irish guys.

So the boss met both teams and said "Here's what we'll do. Each team will be installing poles out on the new road for a day.  The team that installs the most poles gets the job."

Both teams headed right out. At end of the shift, Bud and Buddy, the two Port Pirie guys came back and the boss asked them how many they had installed.

They said that it was tough going, but they'd put in twelve.

Forty-five minutes later, Paddy and Mick, the Irish guys came back in and they were totally exhausted.  The boss asked, "Well, how many poles did you guys install?"

Mick, the team leader, wiped his brow and sighed, "Paddy and me, we got three in".

The boss gasped, "Three? Those two Port Pirie guys put in twelve!"

"Yeah," said Mick, "but you should see how much they left sticking out of the ground! "

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 17th September 2014

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 6

WEDNESDAY 17TH SEPTEMBER 2014

THIS WEEK'S MEETING

Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Leo Phelan of Eco-Goats. Please go to www.ecogoatsqld.com.au for background information.

APOLOGIES

Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                                17 Sep        1 Oct          15 Oct         
                    
Duty Officer            Jeff C           Bill H            Lionel T           
 
Registration            Andy S         Donna C      Sherryl G

ADO & Scribe         Angela G      Rick V         Malcolm B
          
Fellowship               Alan W         Ric T          Johm McL  
  
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER

27 September
Lionel Tilley (Leader)   Rick Vickers   Angela Griffin

11th October
John Whan (Leader)  Ric Townsend   Donna Cervantes 

MINUTES OF MEETING OF LAST MEETING

Meeting opened by President Ric followed by loyal toast, grace and welcome to Brian Turner (PP), Ric’s wife Jacinta and guest speaker Melissa Borich.

Lionel T gave report on the calendar progress and change of Bowel Scan kit suppliers, unfortunately resulting in a dearer kit.

Chris B spoke on parking with Real Food Festival. Roster to be sent out. Although by the time this goes to print, RFF will have been and gone.

Sergeant Chris B gave an absolutely scintillating session with usual wonderful wit and brilliance (wonder if anyone actually reads/believes this).

Jim Atkinson introduced Guest speaker Melissa.

Melissa explained that the catalyst for change to healthier lifestyle was husband Kevin’s diagnosis of a very aggressive cancer.

They researched as much as they could and treated the opportunity to help with Kevin’s treatment as a challenge rather than a sentence.

Kevin and Melissa adopted a much healthier lifestyle including change of diet with more juicing and cooking with the ingredients as close to the natural source as possible. They chose food with non-additives and no trans-fats. Any meat had to be free range, good quality and lean. 

Exercise of at least 30 minutes per day (walking, yoga), meditation, breathing control, moderate amount of sunshine for Vitamin D and the ability to remain positive and happy.  They resolved to keep active as well as set aside time for relaxation. 

Melissa believes the ideal lifestyle accepts the mind, body and spirit.  Breathing control is essential for controlling stress levels, weight control and mental stimulation.  Vitamin D can come from salmon, fatty acids and flax seed oils as well as sunlight.

Melissa summed it up as daily exercise, choose food wisely, sunshine and be happy.

Chris B thanked Melissa acknowledging her as a living example of her lifestyle and couldn’t help himself in promoting the RSL yoga classes Monday mornings at 0930h.

Meeting closed by President Ric and we all went home.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS

24th Sep
Vocational visit to IGA.

1st October
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Professor Nita Nestor on Botanical Art.

8th October
Masonic Hall for Board Meeting.

15th October
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm for Official DG's Visit with Partner's welcome.

22nd October
Masonic Hall at 6:30 for 7:00pm for Project Meeting - $10 meal.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR SEPTEMBER
4th John & Bernice  18th Andy & Mia  28th Keith & Gloria

BIRTHDAY FOR SEPTEMBER
29th Mia Schouteten

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT

A CAUTIONARY TALE ABOUT PRESCRIPTION DRUGS AND POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS

A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?"

He declines. "Thanks for asking, but, I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime, she asks him if he'd like something.  "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?"

He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food."

Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat.  "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie?  Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"

He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry."


"Well," she says, "Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving."