Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 16th March 2016

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 57 No. 19
WEDNESDAY 16TH MARCH 2016

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Pia Boschetti on Pearl Farming.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                      16th Mar           6th Apr         20th Apr
                   
Duty Officer   Roly N              Jim A            Lionel T                          
Assist DO      Chris R-S          Chris B         Rick V                   
Registration   Bernice McL     Bill H            Ric T
Fellowship     John McL          Keith R        John W
          
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
26th March
Jim Atkinson (Leader)  Bill Hankinson  Lionel Tilley

9th April
Mike and Sherryl Gregory (Leader)  Alan Wilson

MEETING OF 2ND MARCH
Our Guest Speaker was Dale Jacobsen.  Dale was fortunate to be able to fulfil a lifelong dream in 2013 when she took part in a 32-day expedition to Antarctica. Led by Australian mountaineer and geologist, Greg Mortimer, the expedition onboard the Russian icebreaker Ortelius left Ushuaia, taking in the Antarctic Peninsula and sailing through the Bellingshausen and Amundsen Seas before reaching their goal — the Ross Sea.

The Ortelius anchored in McMurdo Sound for five days, enabling Dale and her fellow expeditioners plenty of time to visit Robert Falcon Scott’s Discovery and Terra Nova huts and Ernest Shackleton’s Nimrod hut, all over 100 years old and beautifully preserved by the New Zealand Heritage Trust. She travelled by helicopter into the Taylor Dry Valley, the driest place on earth where it hasn’t rained in a million years.

They sailed through a Force 10 storm in the Southern Ocean on the way to New Zealand, stopping off at World Heritage Listed Macquarie Island to sit amongst king penguins.

Dale showed slides of penguins, seals, icebergs and mountains caught in the midnight sun. A truly life-changing experience.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
23rd March
Masonic Hall at 5:50 for 6:00pm Project Meeting with cheese and biscuits.

30th March
Masonic Hall at 6:30 for 7:00pm Facebook - How to? Partners welcome.

6th April
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Bruce McNaught on Membership Development Plan and Global Rewards.

13th April
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

20th April
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Bryan Mason on Romac.

29th April
District Conference starts at Maroochydore.

11th May
Joint Clubs Meeting at USC.

27 & 28th May
Maleny Show

BIRTHDAYS FOR MARCH
5th Judy Tilley  26th Rick Vickers

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR MARCH
6th John & Beth Wann  22nd Peter and Kay Wilkinson

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
FOLLOWING A RECENT TALK ABOUT BREWING, A STORY ON THE POTENTIAL DOWNSIDE OF THAT ACTIVITY

TWO IRISH WOMEN IN A BAR

Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar.  After a while, one looks at the other and says:

'I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland.'

The other woman responds proudly: 'Yes, I sure am!'

The first one says: 'So am I! And where about in Ireland are ya from?'

The other woman answers: 'I'm from Dublin , I am.'

The first one responds: 'So, am I!! And what street did you live on in Dublin ?'

The other woman says: 'A lovely little area. It was in the west end. I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.'

The first one says: 'Faith, and it's a small world. So did I! So did I!  And what school did ya go to?'

The other woman answers:  'Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course..'

The first one gets really excited and says: 'And so did I! Tell me, what year did you graduate?'

The other woman answers:  'Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964.'

The first woman exclaims:  'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight!  Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 meself!'

About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head and mutters:  'It's going to be a long night tonight.'

Michael asks:  'Why do you say that, Brian?'

Brian answers: 'The Murphy twins are drunk again.'

For a more visual story, please copy and paste the web address below into your browser.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y07at1bU89Q

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 17th June 2015

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 24

WEDNESDAY 17th June 2015

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker our own Phillip Stark talking on My Story.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                               17th Jun            1st Jul            15th Jul     
             
Duty Officer            Rick V               Jim A            Lionel T                 
Assist DO               Chris B              Alan W           Ric T                     
Registration            Donna C            John W          Malcolm B     
Fellowship             Chris R-S            Keith R          Andy S         
 
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
20 June
Jeff C  (Leader)  Donna C  Bill H

4 July
Jim A (Leader)  John W  Keith R 

CONGRATULATIONS TO SHIRLEY LARNEY OAM
We salute and congratulate Shirley on the award of her Medal of the Order of Australia in the Queen's Birthday Honours List.

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING   
President Ric opened the meeting and then proposed a huge vote of thanks to John and Bernice for their mega effort in organising the Show Stall so successfully. He also thanked members, partners, Interactors and friends for their contribution.

Talk on Rhythm Culture by Nathaniel Combs
Rhythm culture is African drumming played at various festivals   e.g African womens' festivals . It is also the traditional rhythm of music that is the glue for African people.  The drums are Balafon, Djembe and Dundun.The Balafon is a large wooden xylophone.The Djembe is a drum that is held between the legs and played using the hands. The Dundun is the bass drum that is also played with the hands.

Nathaniel started drumming when he was aged 7 and has been drumming since. He spent time in Africa learning their traditional drumming before returning to Australia and is teaching others his love of drumming.

Nathaniel played the Balafon, then we were invited to join in some traditional rhythm which was very energetic. He then played the Djembe which was interesting to see him using his hands & fingers to get a rhythm from this traditional drum.  He was thanked for an interesting night; many of us are not going to take up his offer of learning the energetic act of African rhythm.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
22nd June
MDSRC AGM

24th June
Changeover Dinner at Old Bank Cafe - Partners' Night.

27th June
District Changeover Dinner at Kedron-Wavell Services Club.

1st July
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Rachel Lockman on Fitness.

8th July
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

15th July
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Kelly Tilse and Father on Weddings at Tiffany’s.

22nd July
Project Meeting at the Masonic Hall with $10 meal.

29th July
Vocational visit TBC.

BIRTHDAY FOR JUNE
21st Peter Wilkinson

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR JUNE
1st Chris and Judi Ross-Smith  16th  Alan and Mary Wilson

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
A CAUTIONARY TALE FROM OUR MOTORING CORRESPONDENT
TAKE CARE CHOOSING YOUR PASSENGER

A police officer pulls over a speeding car.

The officer says, ' I clocked you at 120 km/h, sir.'

The driver says, 'Christ, officer I had it on cruise control at 100, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'

The wife smiles demurely and says,  'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Dear Lord woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T SHUT UP?'

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'


I love this part...... 


'Only when he's pissed.'

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 15th April 2015

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 19

WEDNESDAY 15TH APRIL 2015

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speakers Barbara Lamont & Edi Heide on The Opal Cutter.

APOLOGIES
Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                                 15 Apr           29 Apr            6 May         
                   
Duty Officer             Chris B          John W           Michael G

ADO & Scribe         Jim A             Keith R           Sherryl G

Registration            Donna C        Chris R-S        Bernice McL           

Fellowship              Alan W           Ric T              John McL
      
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
9th May
Lionel T (Leader)   Robin T   John W

23rd May
Malcolm B (Leader)   Philip S   Rick V

MINUTES OF MEETING OF 1ST APRIL
Our guest speaker was Morag Gamble who spoke about her work as director of programs for The Ethos Foundation – an organisation that she helped to create. She also runs courses on permaculture design and has a postgraduate degree in landscape design. She has been part of the Ethos Foundation (a registered charity) for the last ten years starting in Binna Burra and then moving to Crystal Waters near Maleny. It was this move that helped her to develop a whole new vision for the Foundation which is a not-for-profit holistic learning organisation based in the Crystal Waters ecovillage in the Sunshine Coast hinterland, surrounded by national parks. One of her responsibilities is to liaise with other community leaders.

As described on its website the Ethos Foundation is an educational foundation. Its mission is to cultivate effective new thinking, values and action for positive, ecologically sustainable futures. The Ethos Foundation exists to provide inspiration and renewal for people who are working to make a better world and supports people in developing and embracing sustainable practices in their personal lives, and their communities.

To help achieve these goals Morag said the Ethos Foundation will begin several programs in 2015:
1)    Ethos Farm: This will be a small educational farm that she has developed to demonstrate the virtues of permaculture. Along with 10,000 cuttings, she intends to encourage young people to create their own farms as dedicated permaculture spaces.
2)    Adventure survival skills:   Morag is keen to send carefully selected children into the outback or forest so that they can explore how to exist and find food and shelter when isolated from any towns or villages and the usual support utilities - to really experience ‘the rock face of living’ in a rural environment. An ‘Outward Bound’ type of exercise. Learning maths in a way that is immediately applicable to engineering and architectural needs.
3)    Living a sustainable lifestyle: natural building workshops: cob oven, straw bale seat, bamboo building. Future projects include appropriate technology workshops and displays – pedal power, solar power and much more… a regular series of permaculture workshops including permaculture design courses, permaculture camps, permaculture plants.
4)    Courageous Conversations: Exploring the big issues of our time – climate destabilisation; food sovereignty; re-localisation; post-petrol futures; community resilience, wisdom and creativity; renewable energy.
5)    Inspire Wellbeing: This is the Ethos Foundation’s short course and weekend retreat program to inspire and support, to cultivate creativity and deep connection, to nurture health and wellbeing, to explore eco-spirituality, and mindfulness.

One could see from the way she spoke that Morag was an inspirational leader, an idealist who communicated her ideas with clarity warmth and energy - so it was not surprising that she elicited so many questions that our president had to use the guillotine.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
22nd April
Project Meeting at the Masonic Hall with $10 meal.

26th April
Parking duties at Cross Country event - TBC.

29th April
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm to consider Community Grants.

6th May
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Michael Wearing on Mens' House.

13th May
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

20th May
Combined Clubs meeting at USC for Rotary Scholarship Awards.

BIRTHDAYS FOR APRIL
1st Nancy Baker  4th Phillip Stark  12th Chris Brooker  23rd John McLennan  27th Chris Ross Smith & John Whan

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR APRIL
6th Lloyd & Shirley Larney  13th Jeff & Jan Cornfoot  26th Bill & Marlene Hankinson

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
CLIMATE CHANGE???
SOME THREATENING IMAGES OF AUSSIE WEATHER

            Come here Brisbane, I'm gonna EAT.

Good Morning Far North Queensland. First I'm going to roll you up, then I'm going to smoke you 

Wadduya mean you've never seen a tsunami of sand at sea before?! This is AUSTRALIA mate, pull yourself together.

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 7th January 2015

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 12

WEDNESDAY 7TH JANUARY 2015

THIS WEEK'S MEETING

Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Barry Smith on Art 4 Place.

APOLOGIES

Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                            7 Jan                 21 Jan                 4 Feb                 
                   
Duty Officer        Rick V             Malcolm B         Alan W            

ADO & Scribe     Jeff C              Sherryl G           Keith R
  
Registration        Bernice McL    Robin T             Chris B  

Fellowship          John McL         Bill H                John W
      
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER

17th January
Jim Atkinson (Leader)  Chris Brooker  Robin Thorne

31st January
Keith Rogers (Leader)  Jeff Cornfoot  John Whan

MINUTES OF MEETING OF 3RD DECEMBER

The guest speaker was Jocelyn Morgan from the Caloundra Family History Research Inc.  Jocelyn, who lives in Peachester, gave an overview of the activities of the group and the resources that it has at its Library which is situated in a building at the Courbold Park raceway. The Library is opened to the public on Thursdays from 9.30am till 4pm and on Saturday mornings, provided there are no races being held.

Jocelyn explained the difference between Genealogy and Family History. Genealogy being the study of the dates of Births, Deaths and Marriages and putting those dates into a Family Tree, while Family History is the research into who people were, where did they live and where did they travel to.

She also suggested that the best place to start to search was to start with yourself and work back, using information from State Birth, Deaths and Marriage registers, State and Federal Archives, State Libraries like the John Oxley Library as well as the many web sites that specialise in Ancestry research.  The Group has in their Library over 1500 books and 3 computers as well as microfiche, maps and journals covering the world, for the use of their members, and for a small fee can also be used by the public. They also offer beginner's classes for those who wish to start researching their Family History/Genealogy.

Jim moved a vote of thanks to Jocelyn for a very interesting and informative presentation.

REPORT ON CHRISTMAS STREET CARNIVAL

Well the weather cleared around 3pm on the Friday night of the Maleny Christmas Street Carnival and the rain held off until after closing time, which allowed the big crowd that attended to have a very enjoyable evening. Thanks to all who helped on the Rotary food stall. The Club made a profit of $617 on the night and there are 28 steaks left, so a good effort by everyone involved. There was over $3000 raised by the organizing committee of Maleny Commerce, which will be used to purchase a piece of equipment for the Maleny Hospital.

MEETING OF 17TH DECEMBER

The Club  held an end of year celebrations at the Maleny Bowls Club, and members, partners, families and friends of Rotary members enjoyed a game of bowls with the experts from the Bowls Club as tutors. Much fun was had during the night and some action shots were recorded.

We thank the members from Maleny Bowls Club for their patience in showing us how to bowl and for the  meal served on the night.

 The highlight of the night was the induction of a new member into the club. Chris Ross-Smith and his wife Judith joined our club that night. Chris has been a member of  a Rotary Club in New South Wales, and most likely will join Jim in supporting New South Wales in the state of origin football games in June 2015 !

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS

14th Jan
Masonic Hall for Board Meeting.

21st Jan
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Dr Richard Mochelle on the Housing Survey.

26th Jan
Australia Day “Come and Try Day” at Maleny Showgrounds - Club tent and parking duties.

28th Jan
Project Meeting at the Masonic Hall with $10 meal.

4th February
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Ron Palmer on Medical Research.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY FOR JANUARY
1st Malcolm and Nancy

BIRTHDAYS FOR JANUARY
1st Jan Cornfoot  21st Mike Gregory

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT

FROM OUR MILITARY CORRESPONDENT

Subject: Life in the Australian Army

Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of  Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland )   

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody horses to get in, no calves to feed, no troughs to clean - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing! 

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or goanna stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the bullock paddock!!

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody dingo's arse and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the  Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of p...!! You don't even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!

Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.

Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer. 

I can't complain about the Army -  tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.

Your loving daughter,

Susan 

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 3rd December 2014

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 11

WEDNESDAY 3RD DECEMBER 2014

THIS WEEK'S MEETING

Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Jocelyn Morgan on Family History Research.

APOLOGIES

Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                             3 Dec                 
                   
Duty Officer         Jim A                        

Registration         Lionel T        

ADO & Scribe      Bill H     
         
Fellowship            Andy S        
 
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
6th December
Mike G (Leader)  Sherryl G  Donna C

20th December
Angela G (Leader)  Andy S  Lionel T

MINUTES OF MEETING OF LAST MEETING
President Ric opened the meeting by welcoming our guests Elaine Atkinson, Emily Batista of MSHS plus two supporters, our Guest Speaker and permanent Apexian Tim Bagshaw plus two visiting past and present Rotarians.

Emily has been chosen to attend the upcoming "Science Experience".  She was invited to speak to the Club on what she hoped to achieve and did this very well.  She is following in the footsteps of her sister whom we sponsored to the NYSF a few years ago.  Alan W then reported on the RF Seminar which he had attended and gave a plug for the Million Dollar Dinner Fund Raiser.

After Chris B had performed his usual extortion act as Sergeant, Tim Bagshaw was introduced.  Tim has been a long term advocate and fund raiser for the proposed hydrotherapy pool.  This was not the first time that he has addressed the Club on this topic.  He is now very hopeful, following discussions with Andrew Powell, that a decision will be made that will enable work to start on this project.

The plan is to set up a new pool house on the lower oval of the primary school (what about bike ed?).  The building will contain a multi-lane 25 metre swimming pool and a separate hydrotherapy pool.  It will include changing rooms and a kiosk and will be available to the public on a bookings basis throughout the day.  It is also planned that the gym will be relocated to the same area.

The hydrotherapy pool will be funded by a grant and the substantial sum of over $300,000 that Tim's committee has collected. This new proposal represents an enormous step forward from Tim's previous talk on this topic and the meeting wished him every success in the coming negotiations.  Alan W gave the vote of thanks.

NEW PAUL HARRIS FELLOW

Tim had scarcely resumed his seat when he was again called forward to be inducted as a Paul Harris Fellow by President Ric.  This was greeted by a standing ovation from all present and left the recipient, for once maybe, lost for words.

The meeting then concluded.

AGM OF 26TH NOVEMBER
The results of the election of Club Officers for 2015/16 were:
President    Jeff Cornfoot
Secretary    Bernice McLennan
Treasurer    Jim Atkinson
Board         Chris Brooker, Angela Griffin, Malcolm Baker, Rick Vickers, Ric Townsend (IPP), Lionel Tilley (Minutes Sec.)

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS

6th Dec
Garage Sale at Baptist Hall.

10th Dec
Masonic Hall for Board Meeting.

17th Dec
Christmas Party TBA

24th and 31st Dec
No meeting

1st January 2015

HAPPY NEW YEAR






7th Jan
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker TBA.

14th Jan
Masonic Hall for Board Meeting.

26th Jan
Australia Day “Come and Try Day” at Maleny Showgrounds.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR DECEMBER
6th Chris & Jocelyn  12th Jim & Elaine 12th Ric & Jacinta  17th Lionel & Judy

BIRTHDAYS FOR DECEMBER
11th Jim Atkinson  15th Robin Thorne

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR POST CHRISTMAS DINNER WORD GAMES

LEXOPHILIA                     

"Lexophile" is a word  used to describe those who have a love for quirky phrases, such as  "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."

A competition to see who  can come up with the best examples of this is held every year in an  undisclosed location. This year's winning submission is posted  at the very end.  Some of the runners up are given below.  You are welcome to make up your own over the port and Christmas pudding:
 

- When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
     
- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
     
- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
     
- The batteries were given out free of charge.
     
- A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
     
- A will is a dead giveaway.
     
- With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
     
- You  can’t beat a boiled egg.
     
- When you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
     
- Police were summoned to a daycare centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
     
- Did you hear about  the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
     
- A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
     
- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
     
- The guy who fell into an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
     
- He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
     
- When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
     
- Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

And  the cream of the twisted crop:
     
- Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.