Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 3rd December 2014

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 11

WEDNESDAY 3RD DECEMBER 2014

THIS WEEK'S MEETING

Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Jocelyn Morgan on Family History Research.

APOLOGIES

Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                             3 Dec                 
                   
Duty Officer         Jim A                        

Registration         Lionel T        

ADO & Scribe      Bill H     
         
Fellowship            Andy S        
 
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
6th December
Mike G (Leader)  Sherryl G  Donna C

20th December
Angela G (Leader)  Andy S  Lionel T

MINUTES OF MEETING OF LAST MEETING
President Ric opened the meeting by welcoming our guests Elaine Atkinson, Emily Batista of MSHS plus two supporters, our Guest Speaker and permanent Apexian Tim Bagshaw plus two visiting past and present Rotarians.

Emily has been chosen to attend the upcoming "Science Experience".  She was invited to speak to the Club on what she hoped to achieve and did this very well.  She is following in the footsteps of her sister whom we sponsored to the NYSF a few years ago.  Alan W then reported on the RF Seminar which he had attended and gave a plug for the Million Dollar Dinner Fund Raiser.

After Chris B had performed his usual extortion act as Sergeant, Tim Bagshaw was introduced.  Tim has been a long term advocate and fund raiser for the proposed hydrotherapy pool.  This was not the first time that he has addressed the Club on this topic.  He is now very hopeful, following discussions with Andrew Powell, that a decision will be made that will enable work to start on this project.

The plan is to set up a new pool house on the lower oval of the primary school (what about bike ed?).  The building will contain a multi-lane 25 metre swimming pool and a separate hydrotherapy pool.  It will include changing rooms and a kiosk and will be available to the public on a bookings basis throughout the day.  It is also planned that the gym will be relocated to the same area.

The hydrotherapy pool will be funded by a grant and the substantial sum of over $300,000 that Tim's committee has collected. This new proposal represents an enormous step forward from Tim's previous talk on this topic and the meeting wished him every success in the coming negotiations.  Alan W gave the vote of thanks.

NEW PAUL HARRIS FELLOW

Tim had scarcely resumed his seat when he was again called forward to be inducted as a Paul Harris Fellow by President Ric.  This was greeted by a standing ovation from all present and left the recipient, for once maybe, lost for words.

The meeting then concluded.

AGM OF 26TH NOVEMBER
The results of the election of Club Officers for 2015/16 were:
President    Jeff Cornfoot
Secretary    Bernice McLennan
Treasurer    Jim Atkinson
Board         Chris Brooker, Angela Griffin, Malcolm Baker, Rick Vickers, Ric Townsend (IPP), Lionel Tilley (Minutes Sec.)

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS

6th Dec
Garage Sale at Baptist Hall.

10th Dec
Masonic Hall for Board Meeting.

17th Dec
Christmas Party TBA

24th and 31st Dec
No meeting

1st January 2015

HAPPY NEW YEAR






7th Jan
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker TBA.

14th Jan
Masonic Hall for Board Meeting.

26th Jan
Australia Day “Come and Try Day” at Maleny Showgrounds.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR DECEMBER
6th Chris & Jocelyn  12th Jim & Elaine 12th Ric & Jacinta  17th Lionel & Judy

BIRTHDAYS FOR DECEMBER
11th Jim Atkinson  15th Robin Thorne

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR POST CHRISTMAS DINNER WORD GAMES

LEXOPHILIA                     

"Lexophile" is a word  used to describe those who have a love for quirky phrases, such as  "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."

A competition to see who  can come up with the best examples of this is held every year in an  undisclosed location. This year's winning submission is posted  at the very end.  Some of the runners up are given below.  You are welcome to make up your own over the port and Christmas pudding:
 

- When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
     
- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
     
- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
     
- The batteries were given out free of charge.
     
- A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
     
- A will is a dead giveaway.
     
- With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
     
- You  can’t beat a boiled egg.
     
- When you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
     
- Police were summoned to a daycare centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
     
- Did you hear about  the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
     
- A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
     
- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
     
- The guy who fell into an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
     
- He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
     
- When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
     
- Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

And  the cream of the twisted crop:
     
- Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end. 
        
 

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 19th November 2014

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 10

WEDNESDAY 19TH NOVEMBER 2014

THIS WEEK'S MEETING

Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speakers Tim & Mary Bagshaw on Hydrotherapy Pool Mobility Exercises - Partners Night.

APOLOGIES

Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                                   19 Nov              3 Dec                 
                   
Duty Officer               Chris B              Jim A                        

Registration               Keith R             Lionel T        

ADO & Scribe            Angela G         Bill H     
         
Fellowship                  Ric T               Andy S        
 
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER

22nd Nov
Malcolm B (Leader)  Chris B   Bill H

6th December
Mike G (Leader)  Sherryl G   Donna C

MINUTES OF MEETING OF LAST MEETING
Much of the early part of the meeting was taken up by the concern to get the laptop connected to the projector for our speaker’s power point presentation later in the evening. Once again the Club was embarrassed by the disappearance of the right cable to enable the equipment to work. Fortuitously, our speaker's mother had a brainwave and sent for reinforcements in the shape of her friend Julie Shelton of Real Food Festival fame who hotfooted it round to the pub and fixed the right cable to light up the screen – much to everyone’s relief!

While all this was going members tucked into excellent curries, or steak and chips etc. There wasn’t much time for reports though Ric gave a report back on the Melbourne Cup events at Wild Rocket in Montville and the RSL where the Club benefited from the Calcutta competitions he had run.  Some of us were lucky with the horses and it was noted that Jim had practised his catwalk technique in the best-dressed couple competition, alongside his elegant wife Elaine who looked a million dollars (and it was her birthday).

We were all interested to learn that, Brodie, a former Maleny High School student, a best friend of our speaker, and a former Club sponsored Science Forum recipient, had been offered a Rhodes Scholarship – a well deserved acknowledgement of his talents. One Rotarian reckoned he would likely become Prime Minister one day.

After being introduced by Lionel, our speaker Miranda Rew-Duffy of Conondale, a former student of MSHS, and now at UQ, provided insights into her studies and long-term work aspirations in the field of conservation and protection of endangered species. From her childhood when she had a bunch of “free range” guinea pigs in the garden, she has been fascinated by the interaction of animals with habitat, which had led her to UQ where she is studying Zoology. Miranda’s fascination with conservation problems in Africa, caused by poaching, lack of water and barriers to natural migration routes, has inspired her decision to gain credits for her degree by going to South Africa with the International Student Volunteers organization. There she will study practices used for the protection of endangered species such as elephant, which are badly under threat, the Black Rhino whose numbers have reduced from 100,000 in the 1960’s to just 4000 in 2012, as well as lion, cheetah, hippopotamus and leopard.

While in South Africa Miranda will be trained in practical animal management techniques in game parks and reserves and the protection of ecosystems; training that she will be able to apply in Australia.  Miranda also hoped to learn more about the people of South Africa and their different cultures.  She had already raised $1500 towards the $3000 cost of the trip and was working hard to raise the rest.

After such an interesting talk it was clear to members that, in the future, with her evident passion for and training in conservation and preservation of species and ecosystems, Miranda would be making a significant contribution to the need to protect Australia’s precious ecosystems which are under threat from economic and environmental pressures.

MEETING OF 29TH OCTOBER
When the proposed Vocational Visit to The Falls Rainforest Spa Cottages was cancelled at short notice, a successful joint BBQ with Historical Society members was arranged and proved a hit with all present on the night. President Ric presented a cheque for $1000.00 to Stan Collard representing the Society and which was greatly appreciated. This represented the proceeds from the days that we catered for functions held at the Village during September and early October. We have been told that we are welcome to use the facility at the Village at any time for small functions.

Many thanks are due to John and Bernice for arranging the meal and the brown paper bag.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS

26th November
Masonic Hall at 6:30 for 7:00pm for AGM and a $10 meal.

3rd Dec
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Jocelyn Morgan on Family History Research.

10th Dec
Masonic Hall for Board Meeting.

17th Dec
TBA

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY FOR NOVEMBER

19th Mike & Sherryl

BIRTHDAYS FOR NOVEMBER

2nd Sherryl Gregory 4th Elaine Atkinson 11th Ric Townsend  25th Bill Hankinson

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
AN AGRICULTURAL TALE


A farmer drove to a neighbour's farmhouse and knocked at the door.   A boy, about 9, opened the door.  "Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.
"No, they went to town."
"How about your brother, Howard?  Is he here?"
"No, he went with Mom and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably.  "No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".

The boy thought for a moment, then says, "You'll have to talk to my Dad about that.  I know he charges $500 for the bulls -

 and $150 for the pigs -

BUT I'VE NO IDEA HOW MUCH HE CHARGES FOR HOWARD".

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 29th October 2014

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 9

WEDNESDAY 29TH OCTOBER 2014

THIS WEEK'S MEETING

Club Meeting at Historical Society at 6:30 for 7:00pm for Old Fashioned BBQ

APOLOGIES

Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                                   5 Nov             19 Nov            3 Dec                 
                   
Duty Officer              Robin T          Chris B           Jim A                        

Registration              Bernice McL   Keith R          Lionel T        

ADO & Scribe          Alan W            Angela G       Bill H     
         
Fellowship               Mike G            Ric T             Andy S        
 
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER

8th November
Jim A (Leader) Chris B  Bill H  (The A team?)

22nd Nov
Malcolm B (Leader)  Jeff C  Keith R

MINUTES OF MEETING OF LAST MEETING

The Club hosted the District Governor George Grant and his wife Mary and Assistant District Governor Ian Hope.

DG George gave an overview of his life as a Service Club member, firstly in APEX and then joining Rotary in 1983.

George and Mary have recently been visiting Solomon Islands and PNG. He was impressed by the small projects that these clubs have undertaken  and some projects are still “work in progress”.  He made mention that very often the small projects have a huge impact on the community once implemented.  For  clubs which do not have the resources to undertake large projects, it is advisable to concentrate on the smaller ones so they can become a reality and beneficial to the community.

George is aiming to foster friendship between clubs in District 9600 and would like to see the fun bought back into Rotary and perhaps some joint projects undertaken where more than one club can participate. After all the project will still be a Rotary  project but undertaken by more than one club, therefore will lighten the work load for all concerned.

George commended the Board and members for the many community events undertaken and also the fundraising events conducted,  given that we are a small club with many members taking time off to enjoy their retirement at the same time over the year.

George was  presented with a book of 50 Years of Rotary in Maleny and Mary was given flowers and the night was enjoyed by all.

HONORARY MEMBERSHIP FOR FRAN TICKLE




 President Ric reports that after some delay he finally pinned Fran Tickle as an Honorary Rotarian on 14th October at the Interact Club Meeting at Maleny High School.
                                                                  

                                                                                     
NEW BOOK LAUNCH BY JACK WILCOX

Congratulations to our Club Historian Jack Wilcox on the publication of his memoire.  It includes a segment on his work on his Rotary book with a photo of Peg Burnett.  The details of the book launch are:
Where:  Downstairs Catholic Church Maleny
When:  Sunday 16th November 10:00am
For catering purposes please contact Jack on 5435 2735 or jma_w@bigpond.com

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS

5th November
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Miranda Rew-Duffy on Endangered Species.

12th November
Masonic Hall for Board Meeting.

19th November
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speakers Tim & Mary Bagshaw on Hydrotherapy Pool Mobility Exercises.

26th November
Masonic Hall at 6:30 for 7:00pm for Project Meeting - $10 meal.

3rd Dec
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Jocelyn Morgan on Family History Research.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR NOVEMBER

19th Mike & Sherryl

BIRTHDAYS FOR NOVEMBER

2nd Sherryl Gregory 4th Elaine Atkinson 11th Ric Townsend  25th Bill Hankinson

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT

FROM A BUSINESS ANALYST WHO SAYS IF HE KNEW THE NAME OF THIS COMPANY HE WOULD BUY SOME SHARES AS THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS ARE OBVIOUSLY ON TOP OF EVERYTHING!!!! 

A DELICATE CORPORATE MATTER


All of the ten senior members of the Board of Directors of the company were called into the chairman's office one by one until only Bob, the junior member, was left sitting outside.

Finally it was his turn to be summoned. He entered the office to find the chairman and the ten other directors seated around a table.  He was invited to join them, which he did.

As soon as he had sat down the chairman turned to Bob, looking him squarely in the eye, and with a stern voice asked “Have you ever had sex with Mrs. Foyt, my secretary?”


“Oh, no sir, positively not!” Bob replied.

“Are you absolutely sure?” asked the chairman.

“Honest, I’ve never been close enough to even touch her!”

“You’d swear to that?”

“Yes, I swear I’ve never had sex with Mrs. Foyt anytime, anywhere.”

“Good, then you fire her !!!”

 

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 15th October 2014

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 8

WEDNESDAY 15TH OCTOBER 2014

THIS WEEK'S MEETING

Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm for Official DG's Visit with Partners welcome.

APOLOGIES

Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                                   15 Oct                  
                   
Duty Officer                Lionel T                  

Registration                Sherryl G

ADO & Scribe            Malcolm B
         
Fellowship                  John McL 
 
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER

25th October
Bernice & John McL (Leader)  Robin Thorne

MINUTES OF MEETING OF LAST MEETING

President Ric, who was to give an excellent demonstration of multi-tasking during the meeting, completed the normal formalities and welcomed our Guest Speaker Dr Nita Lester and her husband. He then thanked Bernice and John for organising the BBQ last weekend for the Maleny Historical Society. Members of the Society had expressed their thanks and Bernice reported that her team had had a great time.

Rotary’s enviable catering skills were also in demand for Sunday 5th October when President Ric  lead a sausage sizzle team for Pioneer Day.

The vocational visit to IGA on 24 September had been very interesting and a letter of thanks is being sent to  Rob Outridge.

Secretary Bernice was waiting for ideas on what the Club should do this year to celebrate Xmas.

After another multi-choice meal, Bill Hankinson stood in as Sergeant and extracted some funds from those present. He then formally introduced our Guest Speaker Dr Nita Lester.  Nita's is a botanist and also a talented artist.  She spoke to the club about her "botanical art". She showed members a range of artworks ranging from basic black and white pen and ink drawings through to full colour representations of both plants and animals. She also presented a number of items that used her artwork;  these ranged from shopping bags to crockery and illustrations and layouts for children's books. Much of her time is also spent on graphic design producing brochures for charitable organisations which she contributes for free.

Nita is also the president of the Queensland Botanical Art Society which amongst other things encourages and provides workshops for aspiring botanical artists. More information on Nita and her art can be found at http://nitaclarelester.com/.

President Ric presented the vote of thanks together with an as yet undecorated bowl.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS

22nd October
Masonic Hall at 6:30 for 7:00pm for Project Meeting - $10 meal.

29th October
Vocational visit to The Falls Rainforest Spa Cottages - Partners' Night.

5th November
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Miranda Rew-Duffy on Endangered Species.

12th November
Masonic Hall for Board Meeting.

19th November
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speakers Tim & Mary Bagshaw on Hydrotherapy Pool Mobility Exercises.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY FOR OCTOBER
26th Rick and Cilla

BIRTHDAYS FOR OCTOBER
12th Gloria Rogers  14th Keith Rogers  28th Bernice McLennan  30th Andy Schouteten 

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT

FROM OUR LIFE STYLE CORRESPONDENT

FOUR WORMS IN CHURCH

Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!!

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.                                                                                                         
                                                                                                                                          

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                        

 The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          



 The fourth worm was  put into a container of good clean soil.                                                                                                                                                  
 At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol...Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke....Dead.

Third worm in chocolate syrup...Dead.

Fourth worm in good clean soil.... Alive .
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

 



  Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,
 'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!'



That pretty much ended the service!                                                                                                                                                            

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 1st October 2014

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 7

WEDNESDAY 1ST OCTOBER 2014

THIS WEEK'S MEETING

Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Professor Nita Nestor on Botanical Art.

APOLOGIES

Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                                1 Oct               15 Oct                  
                   
Duty Officer             Bill H              Lionel T                  

Registration             Donna C        Sherryl G

ADO & Scribe          Ric T             Malcolm B
         
Fellowship                                      John McL 
 
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER

11th October
Malcolm Baker (Leader)  Ric Townsend   Donna Cervantes

25th October
Bernice & John McL (Leader)  Robin Thorne

MINUTES OF MEETING OF LAST MEETING

The usual suspects were welcomed by President Ric and, after the usual formalities, he sought two teams of 4 volunteers to help out at the Maleny Historical Society events on 27/28 Sept – 100 lunches (burgers) on 27th and 200 breakfasts (bacon and egg) on 28th.  Bernice offered to be leader on both days. Other volunteers to contact Bernice.

Rotary’s enviable catering skills were also in demand for Sunday 5th October when President Ric would lead a sausage sizzle team for Pioneer Day.
Chris B offered to vault his back fence to help out. Ouch!

President Ric then surprised Bernice with a Rotary Award for introducing a new member and encouraged other members to do the same. As nothing’s for free, President Ric then passed the invoice for the award onto the Treasurer!

The other Rick then reminded the Club about the Mary Cairncross Building Renovations Information Day from 10 till 4 on 27th Sept when SSCC would be seeking feedback on plans.  More information on Council website.

Treasurer Jim advised that the collection from the car parking for the Real Food Festival had been good, though not quite to the level of last year. Nevertheless, Chris B confirmed that this event was the third highest annual income earner for the Club and great for publicity for Rotary and socializing.
Treasurer Jim also confirmed that he had attended a Christmas Carnival organizing meeting (attended only by him and one other) and that the Carnival Day would be 13 December. He confirmed that the Club’s feedback last year about the need to curb the number of private trader stalls had been acknowledged.

Secretary Bernice asked for ideas on what the Club should do this year to celebrate Xmas.

After a meal of curries or roast pork or calamari, Jeff Cornfoot introduced Leo Phelan who talked to us silly old goats about his new “rent - a - goat” service for eradicating weeds in overgrown landholdings. With the help of photographs and video, Leo shared with us how his new approach, which is widely used in USA particularly in bush fire prone areas in California, is an eco friendly way to assist governments and private landowners to responsibly manage their land and eradicate noxious weed  invasion such as the Japanese Sunflower.
Leo had bought 50 goats of the type used in the US, who were then corralled into 10 acre electro fenced cells (roughly 3 cells cover 30 acres) and allowed to roam protected from predators by two loyal white Maremma sheepdogs.



The goats did a mighty fine job of eating everything. They can eat 5- 15% of their body weight in one day ruminating 24/7 with no complaints. In one week a group of 50 can clear 40 tons, with the added bonus of enriching the land from the other end leaving it in prime condition for revegetation by native, non noxious plants or productive plantings.  The cost worked out at an average of $1000 per acre.
 
Leo was working hard to try and persuade governments to use his eco friendly goats for managing and revegetating national and state land holdings and he had pilots operating in the Hunchy area.
Leo was thanked by Angela for his extremely interesting talk that demonstrated how it is possible to use more natural means of land care offering a welcome alternative to risky herbicides and pesticides. So much more sensible to use the eco friendly, goat friendly approach – just like our forbears. 

At the end of the meeting members were reminded of the vocational meeting the following week at the IGA, followed by dinner.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS


8th October
Masonic Hall for Board Meeting.

15th October
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm for Official DG's Visit with Partners welcome.

22nd October
Masonic Hall at 6:30 for 7:00pm for Project Meeting - $10 meal.

29th October
Vocational visit to The Falls Rainforest Spa Cottages - Partners'Night.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY FOR OCTOBER
26th Rick and Cilla

BIRTHDAYS FOR OCTOBER
12th Gloria Rogers  14th Keith Rogers  28th Bernice McLennan  30th Andy Schouteten 

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT

WITH TELECOMMUNICATIONS CURRENTLY BEING A HOT TOPIC LOCALLY, A STORY OF PROGRESS FROM INTERSTATE

THE IRISH CONTRACTING FOR TELSTRA!

TELSTRA needed to hire a team of telephone pole installers for the Stuart Highway and McMurray and the boss had to choose between a team of two guys from Port Pirie and a team of two Irish guys.

So the boss met both teams and said "Here's what we'll do. Each team will be installing poles out on the new road for a day.  The team that installs the most poles gets the job."

Both teams headed right out. At end of the shift, Bud and Buddy, the two Port Pirie guys came back and the boss asked them how many they had installed.

They said that it was tough going, but they'd put in twelve.

Forty-five minutes later, Paddy and Mick, the Irish guys came back in and they were totally exhausted.  The boss asked, "Well, how many poles did you guys install?"

Mick, the team leader, wiped his brow and sighed, "Paddy and me, we got three in".

The boss gasped, "Three? Those two Port Pirie guys put in twelve!"

"Yeah," said Mick, "but you should see how much they left sticking out of the ground! "

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 17th September 2014

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 6

WEDNESDAY 17TH SEPTEMBER 2014

THIS WEEK'S MEETING

Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Leo Phelan of Eco-Goats. Please go to www.ecogoatsqld.com.au for background information.

APOLOGIES

Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                                17 Sep        1 Oct          15 Oct         
                    
Duty Officer            Jeff C           Bill H            Lionel T           
 
Registration            Andy S         Donna C      Sherryl G

ADO & Scribe         Angela G      Rick V         Malcolm B
          
Fellowship               Alan W         Ric T          Johm McL  
  
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER

27 September
Lionel Tilley (Leader)   Rick Vickers   Angela Griffin

11th October
John Whan (Leader)  Ric Townsend   Donna Cervantes 

MINUTES OF MEETING OF LAST MEETING

Meeting opened by President Ric followed by loyal toast, grace and welcome to Brian Turner (PP), Ric’s wife Jacinta and guest speaker Melissa Borich.

Lionel T gave report on the calendar progress and change of Bowel Scan kit suppliers, unfortunately resulting in a dearer kit.

Chris B spoke on parking with Real Food Festival. Roster to be sent out. Although by the time this goes to print, RFF will have been and gone.

Sergeant Chris B gave an absolutely scintillating session with usual wonderful wit and brilliance (wonder if anyone actually reads/believes this).

Jim Atkinson introduced Guest speaker Melissa.

Melissa explained that the catalyst for change to healthier lifestyle was husband Kevin’s diagnosis of a very aggressive cancer.

They researched as much as they could and treated the opportunity to help with Kevin’s treatment as a challenge rather than a sentence.

Kevin and Melissa adopted a much healthier lifestyle including change of diet with more juicing and cooking with the ingredients as close to the natural source as possible. They chose food with non-additives and no trans-fats. Any meat had to be free range, good quality and lean. 

Exercise of at least 30 minutes per day (walking, yoga), meditation, breathing control, moderate amount of sunshine for Vitamin D and the ability to remain positive and happy.  They resolved to keep active as well as set aside time for relaxation. 

Melissa believes the ideal lifestyle accepts the mind, body and spirit.  Breathing control is essential for controlling stress levels, weight control and mental stimulation.  Vitamin D can come from salmon, fatty acids and flax seed oils as well as sunlight.

Melissa summed it up as daily exercise, choose food wisely, sunshine and be happy.

Chris B thanked Melissa acknowledging her as a living example of her lifestyle and couldn’t help himself in promoting the RSL yoga classes Monday mornings at 0930h.

Meeting closed by President Ric and we all went home.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS

24th Sep
Vocational visit to IGA.

1st October
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Professor Nita Nestor on Botanical Art.

8th October
Masonic Hall for Board Meeting.

15th October
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm for Official DG's Visit with Partner's welcome.

22nd October
Masonic Hall at 6:30 for 7:00pm for Project Meeting - $10 meal.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR SEPTEMBER
4th John & Bernice  18th Andy & Mia  28th Keith & Gloria

BIRTHDAY FOR SEPTEMBER
29th Mia Schouteten

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT

A CAUTIONARY TALE ABOUT PRESCRIPTION DRUGS AND POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS

A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?"

He declines. "Thanks for asking, but, I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime, she asks him if he'd like something.  "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?"

He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food."

Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat.  "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie?  Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"

He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry."


"Well," she says, "Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving."

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 3rd September 2014

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 5

WEDNESDAY 3 SEPTEMBER 2014

THIS WEEK'S MEETING

Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Melissa Borich on Healthy Lifestyles.

APOLOGIES

Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                                  3 Sep              17 Sep          
                    
Duty Officer              Jim A              Jeff C           
 
Registration              Robin T          Andy S

ADO & Scribe          Chris B           Angela G
          
Fellowship                John W          Alan W  
  
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER

13 September
John Whan (Leader)  Andy Shouteten   Ric Townsend

27 September
Lionel Tilley (Leader)   Rick Vickers   Angela Griffin

MINUTES OF MEETING OF LAST MEETING

President Ric opened the meeting with 15 members present including our Guest Speaker Alan Wilson.  Business matters raised were:

- The Historical Society are running a Music Muster from 22 to 28 September and are requesting help.  A representative is to attend the project meeting.

- The initial budget for the Mens' Shed is $35,000.   A grant will needed.

- MNC have gone ahead with the Affordable Housing Survey without consultation.

- Lionel reported that the calendar has been printed. 1,400 need to have price stickers attached; to be done at 27 August meeting.

- Jim reported that charges for Kennedi's fees and DIK had been paid.

- Rick V announced that MCP's new buildings plans will be provided on 27 September for community feedback.

- He also reported on his visit to Solomon Islands where a global grant had been used to install water connections, sanitation and solar powered vaccine refrigerators in schools.

- Chris flagged the need for volunteers for parking duties for the Real Food Festival on 13/14 September.

- He also noted that TS Centaur had been judged the best unit in the local flotilla.

Chris then put on his Sergeant's stripes and extorted money from the attendees.

Our Guest Speaker, PP Alan Wilson spoke about his 44 years working for ANZ, with much of that time as a mobile lender.  He had spent 18 years overseas, mostly in PNG but also in the Solomons and Vanuatu. He showed a video of his time at the new branch in Wewak.  This also showed how he got out and about into the local villages offering loans for houses, cars and business.  It was fascinating to see him with a laptop explaining his services in very basic rural surroundings.  His target was also to provide the villagers with basic financial education.

Apart from his bank work, he has also been very active in Rotary in PNG, including being a Past President. He has pioneered the provision of computers, books and magazines for schools.  His latest project has been to provide laptops to Popondetta High School to replace ones that had been stolen.

Alan received a warm vote of thanks.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS

10th Sep
Masonic Hall for Board Meeting.

13th Sep
Malany Community Centre AGM at 10:00am.

13th/14th Sep
Parking for Real Food Festival at Maleny Show Grounds.

17th Sep
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Leo Phelan of Eco-Goats. Please go to www.ecogoatsqld.com.au for background information.

24th Sep
Vocational visit to IGA.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR SEPTEMBER
4th John & Bernice  18th Andy & Mia  28th Keith & Gloria

BIRTHDAY FOR SEPTEMBER
29th Mia Schouteten

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT

SHORT MEDICAL EXAM

When I took the entrance exam for medical school, I was perplexed by this question:

"Rearrange the letters P-N-E-S-I to spell out the part of the human body that is most useful when erect."

Those who spelled SPINE became doctors.

The rest are in Parliament.

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 20 August 2014

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 4

WEDNESDAY 20 AUGUST 2014

THIS WEEK'S MEETING

Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Alan Wilson on "My Story".

APOLOGIES

Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                                  20 Aug        3 Sep          17 Sep          
                    
Duty Officer             Mike G          Jim A         Jeff C           
 
Registration             Bernice M     Robin T     Andy S

ADO & Scribe          Keith R          Chris B      Angela G
          
Fellowship               Lionel T         John W       Alan W  
  
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER

30 August
Malcolm Baker (Leader)  Jeff Cornfoot  Bill Hankinson

13 September
John Whan (Leader) Andy Shouteten  Ric Townsend

27 September
Lionel Tilley (Leader)  Rick Vickers  Angela Griffin

MINUTES OF MEETING OF LAST MEETING

President Ric opened the meeting with the normal formalities and welcomed our Guest Speaker Audrey Raymond.

 New member induction:

It was most welcome to have a new member induction at the meeting. President Ric, with due ceremony,  inducted Donna Cervantes as a new member, sponsored by Bernice McLennan. Donna, who has already begun working with the club on service activities and has a desire to serve the community, was warmly welcomed to the Club by the members at the meeting.


Incoming President
President Ric announced that Jeff Cornfoot had accepted this position. The AGM was reconvened and Jeff was elected unopposed.

Men's Shed
President Ric announced the proposal to lay a concrete slab for the new Men’s Shed.  Michael G. proposed putting in an application for a District Grant to assist with costs.

BowelScan 2014
Lionel reported that overall it was a successful year, however the number of kits sold (260) was down on the last two years (344/280). The return rate was 84% which was an improvement on the usual 75%.  Disappointingly the younger demographic (none below 45) are giving the scheme a miss with 82% of participants being 60 years of age or older.
The good news is that across the project area only 11 positives were detected – one being in Maleny. Next year we will be using a different type kit (Eiken immunological) which should prove a bit easier to use and the samples will be analysed at the Sullivan Nicolaides Lab in Toowong. Not sure yet of the cost but it will be slightly higher than this year.  He thanked Jim for his assistance early in the program when I was holidaying.

Calendar
Lionel gave a report on the calendar progress. He will be calling soon for volunteers to assist to hang the photos at Maple 3.

Guest Speaker
Audrey Raymond from the Buddies Refugee Support Group gave a passionate account of the organisation she belongs to and how they make a difference to refugees living on the Sunshine Coast and Brisbane areas. Audrey also went through a long list of myths about asylum seekers, boat people and refugees – some of her information was very confronting and disturbing. She provided lots of statistics and personal accounts to back up her talk.

Buddies Refugee Support Group based on the Sunshine Coast was established in 2001, offering refugee support services which include hospitality, picnics, exchange of letters, phone calls, a weekly bulletin, education opportunities, advocacy and lobbying. They also fundraise to assist the financial plight of refugees on bridging visas, as they have very little money, are not allowed to work or even do voluntary work. The organization has had a growth spurt in the last 6 months increasing their member base from 250 members in December 2013 to 800 members at present.

 Some of the myths that Audrey dispelled were:
• Boat people are illegal
• Boat people are queue jumpers
• Boat arrivals are not genuine asylum seekers
• Boat arrivals present a security risk
• Asylum seekers who can afford to come by boat are economic migrants
• Mandatory detention is necessary for border security
• Australia has one of the most generous refugee intakes in the world.

She handed out a brochure with more statistics and facts to dispel the myths. Some quotes form the brochure “ With over 15 million refugees worldwide and only 80,000 places allocated each year for resettlement, if all the world’s refugees were to join a queue, the wait would be more than 190 years….”.  “Australia stands alone as a democratic developed nation which imposes mandatory indefinite detention on asylum seekers who arrive legally without visas”. Sources cited for more information include:
Refugee Council of Australia: www.refugeecouncil.org.au
Asylum Seeker Resource Centre:  www.asrc.org.au/resources/mythbusters
Chilout (Children out of detention):  www.chilout.org/myths-and-facts
Refugee Action Coalition Sydney: www.refugeeaction.org.au

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS

27th Aug
Masonic Hall at 7:00pm for Club Assembly with $10 meal.

3rd Sep
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Melissa Borich on Healthy Lifestyles.

10th Sep
Masonic Hall for Board Meeting.

13th/14th Sep
Parking for Real Food Festival at Maleny Show Grounds.

17th Sep
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speakers Maggie & Steve Lowe on Goat Co-op Project.  Please go to www.ecogoatsqld.com.au for background information.

24th Sep
Vocational visit to IGA.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY FOR AUGUST
29th Angela and Mike

BIRTHDAYS FOR AUGUST
17th Malcolm Baker  20th  Jocelyn Brooker  29th  Lionel Tilley

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT

TALES FROM A MONASTERY

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.  He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say "We can't tell you because you're not a monk."

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes on his merry way.

Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.

The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.

That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply "We can't tell you because you're not a monk."

The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know.  If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?"

The monks reply "You must travel the Earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk."

The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery.  He says, "I have travelled the Earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.

The monks reply "Congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk.  We shall now show you the way to the sound."

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says "the sound is behind that door."

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked.  He asks "May I have the key?"

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.

Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.  The man requests the key to the stone door.

The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.

Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say "This is the key to the last door."

The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound.
It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight ...........









..... But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.




DON'T SWEAR AT ME!

With acknowledgement to Dave Allen