Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 19th April 2017

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 58 No.19
WEDNESDAY 19TH APRIL 2017

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Sharon Tregonning on Advanced Care Planning.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Jeff before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS                       
                               19th Apr           17th May            
Duty Officer            Chris B             CL Claridge           
Assist DO               David F            Malcolm B                      
Registration            Keith R             Ric T
Fellowship              Rick V              Bill H

SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
13th May
Lionel Tilley (Leader)   Andy Shouteten  Malcolm Baker

27th May
Jeff Cornfoot  (Leader)  Roly Neiper  Phillip Stark

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
President Jeff welcomed members and guests to the meeting. He reported that the Club had gained good PR in the Glasshouse Country and Maleny News and a positive response to the Community Grants evening held at the RSL last month. Rotary also features in the current Hinterland Times - advertising the calendar photo competition. Several members reported that the District Conference held at Caloundra last weekend went well. Past RI President Glen Kinross’s speech was particularly mentioned.

Reminders were given about the 2017 Maleny District Sports and Recreation Club Awards night to be held on Sat 22 April at the RSL. It would be good to have a Rotary table. The club has nominated the Interact Club for one award. Some discussion was held on the sausage sizzle trial of later starting and finishing times. Results were mixed - the position of the sizzle could affect the takings, and Rotary PR may be more the priority than fundraising. Our incoming exchange student from Spain arrives on 4 July. Jeff thanked Malcolm who has agreed to be his counselor. Lionel announced that this would be the last year of the Rotary Bowel Scan program. Kits in hand would be sold at the usual venues. The Federal Government will be running their progamme after that.

Sue Larsen from the Fred Hollows Foundation was welcomed at the guest speaker. Sue is the National Fundraising Manager for the Foundation, which started 25 years ago. Sue previously worked for Thai International Airlines for 20 years and met Fred Hollows through her work there, and his work in Eritrea and Nepal. Fred loved indigenous Australia and launched the National Trachoma Programme. Trachoma is an eye disease endemic in lots of indigenous areas. Fred pioneered and revolutionised cataract surgery through the use of the perspex intra-ocular lens. He set about reducing the cost of the lenses and the operations, and training local people to do the work.

Sue’s presentation highlighted lots of statistics relating to the need to treat preventable blindness, and about the success and extent of the Foundations’ work in 25 countries including Nepal, Eritrea, Northern Africa, South East Asia, Pakistan and Afghanistan.
• 32.4 million people in the world are blind
• 90% live in developing countries
• 3 out of 5 of them are women
• 4 out of 5 have preventable blindness
• In 2015 the Foundation reached 890,066 in eye operations and treatment
• 64,613 people had been trained, including 232 surgeons
• $2.4 million has been invested in equipment and technology
• $25 donation can restore sigh t- a gift that is life-changing.

It was gratifying to be reminded that Rotary International had kick-started the Foundation with a $100,000 donation presented to Gabbi Hollows at the Melbourne Rotary International Convention in 1992. Sue’s presentation reassured us that the work that Fred Hollows pioneered is still being carried out by the Foundation, which is now stronger and reaching more communities- providing affordable and sustainable eye care, investing in people to carry on the work in the 25 countries it has reached. Sue outlined ways that people can get involved as volunteers, and/or in participating in fundraising activities such as Coastrek  coming up on the Sunshine Coast in July. For more information visit coastrek.com.au or the Fred Hollows Foundation website at : www.hollows.org.

Sue finished the presentation with a video showing the remarkable work of the Foundation through the commentary of Ray Martin, the Foundation’s first chairman, travelling to a remote area in Laos where surgery was needed to be carried out on twins, both born with cataracts. 

Sherryl gave the vote of thanks.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
22nd April
MDSRC Awards Dinner at the RSL.

26th April
Masonic Hall at 5:30 for 6:00pm for Club Assembly.

29th April to 1st May
Car parking duties at Maleny Wood Expo.

3rd May
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

10th May
Combined Clubs Meeting at USC.

17th May
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker TBC.
   
BIRTHDAYS FOR APRIL
1st Nancy Baker  4th Phillip Stark  8th David Fraser 12th Chris Brooker  23rd John McLennan  27th Chris Ross Smith & John Whan

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR APRIL
13th Jeff & Jan Cornfoot  26th Bill & Marlene Hankinson

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
THE COURSE OF TRUE LOVE DOES NOT RUN SMOOTH
A WIFE'S TALE

Several days ago, as I left a meeting, I desperately gave myself a personal search. I was looking for my car keys.

They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the car park.
 
My husband has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
 
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. His theory is that the car will be stolen.

As I scanned the car park I came to a terrifying conclusion! His theory was right. The car park was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all.
 
"Hello My Love", I stammered; I always call him "My Love" in times like these. "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had disconnected, but then I heard his voice. He barked, "I dropped you off!"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."


He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your bloody car."

This is what they call, " the Golden Years!"

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 21st December 2016

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 58 No.12
WEDNESDAY 21ST DECEMBER 2016

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Molly Beckman who is our Outbound Exchange Student.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS                       
                               21st Dec                
Duty Officer            Jim A                     
Assist DO               Chris B                      
Registration            Bill H
Fellowship              Roly N     
        
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
31st December
Jeff Cornfoot  (Leader)  Malcolm Baker  Roly Neiper

MINUTES OF LAST MEETING
LT reported that there has been a significant downturn in the uptake of bowel scan kits and many Rotary Clubs have pulled out because it conflicts with the Government program; we will use up our present stock in 2017 and that will be our last year.

Some proceeds from the carols night would go to the Neighbourhood Centre,  a reminder that the street carnival is on this Friday and rosters confirmed, and general discussion on Uniting Church Xmas Tree setting up and theme.

MM advised us of Ray White’s ‘Little Ray of Giving’ initiative – full details can be found in the current Hinterland Times.

MB introduced our guest speaker, Rae Guyder, a registered theatre nurse, member of the Rotary Club of Bribie Island and the District Chairman for Interplast.  She has a special interest in community health and is passionate about her role in promoting the work if Interplast which was established in 1983 through collaboration between Rotary and the Royal Australian College of Surgeons. 

Rotary is represented on the Board, the objective is “Repairing Bodies,  Rebuilding Lives” in developing countries and teams consist of volunteer surgeons,  anaesthetists, nurses and allied health professionals to provide free life changing reconstructive surgery and medical training.  The volunteers restore function and hope to people affected by burns, tumours, hand and foot injuries, congenital abnormalities and more, while training programs give local professionals the skills they need to treat these conditions. 

The first program was conducted by a team of just three in Fiji and now Interplast operates across the whole Asia Pacific region, delivering dozens of surgical and training programs each year.  800+ programs have been delivered, more than 23,000 life changing surgeries accomplished, and more than 40,000 patient consultations held.  Only plastic and reconstructive surgery (ie no cosmetic) is performed and sustainability is achieved through training and capacity building of in country partners.  Teams are invited by participating countries, are made up of required specialists, and need around 300kg of equipment.
 
Interplast is fully accredited with DFAT and each program costs around $45,000 so funding is always needed.  It’s impact extends far beyond any individual patient.  By providing hundreds of educational opportunities each year they change the futures of medical trainees who otherwise may never have had the chance to learn certain skills and techniques and the volunteers themselves hone their skills treating conditions that are rarely seen at home.
  
MG thanked Rae for her informative presentation, mentioned our years of involvement with the “Helping Children Smile Program” and presented her with the iconic Maleny Rotary bag, calendar, history, and Humanity in Motion. 

CHRISTMAS PARTY
Sincere thanks to Bill and Marlene for their kindness in hosting this successful event and congratulations to all the organisers involved.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
28th December
No meeting.

4th January
No Meeting

11th January
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

18th January
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Des Harms on Onsite Sewerage.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR DECEMBER
6th Chris & Jocelyn  12th Jim & Elaine Roly and Kerry Neiper 17th Lionel & Judy

BIRTHDAYS FOR DECEMBER
11th Jim Atkinson  15th Robin Thorne

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
POSSIBLE NEW YEAR RESOLUTION
SHOULD I REALLY JOIN FACEBOOK?

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Face Book and Twitter.
  
I signed up under duress for Twitter and Face Book, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way.  I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation.  I am not ready to live like this.  I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.



The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library.  I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Bluetooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive.  I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble, talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me.  I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time.
 
Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating."  You would think that she could be nicer.  It was like she could barely tolerate me.  She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light.  Then, if I made a right turn instead.  Well, it was not a good relationship...

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house.  We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me.  They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store.  You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop.  I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me!

Now I toss it back to them.  When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?"  I just say, "Doesn't matter to me.  I am bi-sacksual."  Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. 

I was recently asked if I tweet.  I answered, "No, but I do fart a lot."

P.S.  I know some of you are not over 60.  I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are.  I figured your sense of humour could handle it.

We senior citizens don't need any more gadgets.  The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.

A HAPPY, PEACEFUL AND SUCCESSFUL NEW YEAR TO ALL.

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 15th June 2016

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 57 No. 25
WEDNESDAY 15TH JUNE 2016

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Graeme Brittenden on Its about....Time. As this is a special presentation - see precis below - Partners are invited.

APOLOGIES
Apologies plus details of any Partners to Jim on 5494 3064 or jimako4@bigpond.com before noon on Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                               15 June               6th July                   20th July                 
Duty Officer            John W                                                Alan W                        
Assist DO               Keith R                                                Phillip S                
Registration            Lionel T              Sherryl G                  Bill H
Fellowship              Ric T                                                    Andy S
        
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
18th June
Jim Atkinson (Leader)   Rick Vickers   John Whan

25th June
Replacing TS Centaur - roster TBA.

2nd July
Chris Brooker (Leader)  Bill Hankinson  Phillip Stark

THIS WEEK'S GUEST SPEAKER PREVIEW
In December 2010, the Chamber of Commerce & Industry Queensland, (CCIQ) reported that our clocks being 'out of synch’ with the rest of the eastern seaboard osts the state economy about $1,000,000 per hour or $4.37 BILLION per annum.  This has been going on now for 41 of the past 45 summers.
The total sum so far - $179 BILLION!

Four years ago, I set myself a challenge – how do we synchronise our clocks within the eastern states:
•    thereby stopping this haemorrhaging of our economy?
•    without introducing ‘Summer Time’ to Queensland?

There is a practical solution and it satisfies the challenge that I set myself. It makes ‘Summer Time’ redundant along the eastern seaboard and removes – PERMANENTLY – all those chaotic and confusing situations that occur at the Qld/NSW border during ‘Summer Time’.

Clocks need never be changed again after this proposal is enacted.  My presentation outlines how this anomaly occurred in the first place. There was an opportunity to correct the problem back in 1898/99 which was badly missed.

It’s About…Time we fixed it – FOREVER.

MEETING OF 1ST JUNE
As President Jeff was away overseas, Past President Ric chaired the first Dinner meeting of the month and welcomed 15 members and three partners. As there was a football match on later that night which incidentally was once again won by Qld with the help of totally incompetent and biased Referees!!! (Maybe the Scribe is feeling blue - Ed).

Director’s reports were kept to a minimum. Lionel reported that sales of Bowelscan kits were down this year not only in our area but on the Coast as well.

Bernice thanked all those who had helped at the Show, particularly the members of the Maleny State High School Interact Club and all those that made soup.  She said that Pizza sales were slightly down on last year.

Jim reported that gross takings for the Show Stall were slightly down on last year but despite this still expected that the Club would make a good profit. Jim also thanked those that worked on the Show Gate on the Friday of the Show and supported Bernice in thanking the members of the Interact Club.

As usual Chris managed to fine all present.



The Guest Speaker for the night was our own Rick Vickers, ably assisted by Cilla. Rick and Cilla, with the help of a Power Point presentation, spoke of a recent wedding the attended in Japan. The traditional Shinto wedding was held at a Shinto Shrine in the middle of Tokyo.
The wedding ceremony itself was restricted to family members, while the reception that followed was attended by family and friends of the Bride & Groom.

An hour before the wedding was due to take place a rehearsal ceremony was held where the bride and groom, in full traditional Shinto wedding dress(the Bride’s wedding dress weighed 7kg’s), were introduced to each other’s family.

The wedding party procession, including family members and the ever present wedding planner, then walked through the public area of the Shrine to the wedding venue. Sake is the core of a Shinto wedding. The Bride and Groom share three cups of sake as part of the wedding ceremony, and each family member at the wedding have cups of Sake and plates of fruit in front of them.

After the ceremony the traditional wedding photos were taken, which Rick said took “forever”! The wedding procession then walked to the reception area where sake again took centre stage. A traditional barrel of sake was “cracked” with a wooden hammer by the Bride & Groom before being distributed to guests.

The reception itself is a very serious affair with none of the traditional jokes or telegrams that is typical of a western wedding. Part way through the reception the Father of the Bride eescorted her out of the room and later Mother of the Groom led her son away. Soon after the Bride & Groom returned in western wedding dress, the Bride in a traditional white wedding gown and the Groom in a Morning Suit. According to Shinto tradition Mother of the Groom now becomes head of the family.
For Rick & Cilla to see a traditional Shinto wedding was indeed a unique and moving experience.

Jim thanked Rick & Cilla on behalf of the Club for giving those present an insight into a traditional Shinto wedding.

Ric then closed the meeting where those present probably went home to watch a totally forgettable football game !!!

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
15th June
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker

22nd June
Masonic Hall at 5:50 for 6:00pm for Club Assembly with cheese and biscuits.

29th June
Vocational visit TBC.

6th July
Change Over at The Old Bank Cafe at 6:30 for 7:00pm.  Partners Night.

13th July
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

BIRTHDAY FOR JUNE
21st Peter Wilkinson

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR JUNE
1st Chris and Judi Ross-Smith  16th  Alan and Mary Wilson

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
AN OLD FAVOURITE UPDATED: clancy@theoverflow.
WHAT BANJO MIGHT WRITE TODAY!

I had written him a text
Which I'd sent, hoping the next
Time he came in mobile coverage
He'd have time to say hello.

But I'd heard he'd lost his iPhone,
So I emailed him from my smart phone,
Just addressed, on spec, as follows:
clancy@theoverflow
And the answer redirected
Wasn't quite what I'd expected
And it wasn't from the shearing mate
Who'd answered once before.
His ISP provider wrote it
And verbatim I will quote it:
'This account has been suspended:
You won't hear from him any more.'

In my wild erratic fancy
Visions come to me of Clancy:
Out of reach of mobile coverage
Where the Western rivers flow.
Instead of tapping on the small screen,
He'd be camping by the tall green
River gums, a pleasure
That the town folk may never ever know.

Well, the bush has friends to meet him
But the rest of us can't greet him:
Out there, even Telstra's network
Doesn't give you any bars.
He can't blog the vision splendid
Of the sunlit plains extended
Or tweet the wondrous glory
Of the everlasting stars.

I am sitting at the keyboard,
I'm too stressed out to be bored
As I answer all the emails
By the deadlines they contain.
While my screen fills with promotions
For 'Viagra' and strange potions
And announcements of the million-dollar
Prizes I can claim.
But the looming deadlines haunt me
And their harassing senders taunt me
That they need response this evening
For tomorrow is too late!
But their texts, too quickly ended,
Often can't be comprehended
For their writers have no time to think
They have no time to wait.

And I sometimes rather fancy
That I'd like to trade with Clancy:
Just set up an email bouncer
Saying 'Sorry, had to go.'
While he faced an inbox jamming
Up with deadlines and with spamming
As he signed off every message:
clancy@theoverflow.

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 20th May 2015

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 22

WEDNESDAY 20TH MAY 2015

THIS WEEK'S MEETING
Joint Clubs' Meeting at USC for annual Rotary Scholarships presentation.

APOLOGIES
Apologies to Bernice were due on 13th May.

DUTY ROSTERS
                            20 May                 3 Jun      
                   
Duty Officer        USC Meeting       TBA     

ADO & Scribe   

Registration                

Fellowship     
      
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER
23rd May
Malcolm B (Leader)  Philip S  Rick V

6 June
Chris B  (Leader)  Chris R-S  Andy S

13 June
To be confirmed

20 June
Jeff C  (Leader)  Donna C  Bill H 

MINUTES OF MEETING OF 6TH APRIL
President Ric welcomed members to the meeting, especially CL Claridge who was inducted during the meeting, with the classification International Community Development. Welcome to the Club CL!

Michael G reported on the Rotary D9600 Conference held the previous weekend at Bribie Island with the theme: “Shine the Light”. Michael described some of the highlights in terms of good guest speakers:
• Ron Seddon from Port Moresby reported on the progress of the Rotarians against Malaria campaign (RAM). The long lasting insecticide treated bed net program has reached almost all of the 22,000 villages in PNG at least once, with villagers receiving new nets every 3 years. The program has been very successful in reducing prevalence and deaths from malaria, with malaria prevalence reduced by more than 80% from 2009 to 2014. This is a huge reduction in malaria in PNG.
• Prof Ian Fraser spoke of his work in linking the human papilloma virus and cervical cancer to create a world-first vaccine. His presentation was followed by a team from PNG who will be supervising a TRF global grant project to vaccinate all school girls in Port Moresby against cervical cancer.
• Other presentations highlighted Post-polio syndrome, Rotary Health indigenous scholarships, Foodbank, Drugs in the workplace, Young novice driver road safety, Muslim Women’s property rights in Pakistan (by a Peace Fellow), RYLA, Rotaract, Computers4Learning project in Arusha, Youth Exchange – and lots more.

Lionel T reminded members that May was Bowel Scan month. New style kits are available at the pharmacy for $15.

Rick V reported that the new Mary Cairncross Scenic Reserve Management group has met, and the plan for the new education centre is going to the Council, who will report in about 2 months. A Rotary working party will be needed in a couple of weeks to do some replanting in the areas where picnic setting reconstruction has been happening.

Guest Speaker: Michael Wearing from Maleny Men’s Community House.
Michael “Laughing Wolf” Wearing has lived in Maleny for 23 years. He described his background as a soldier in the regular army, with time in Vietnam, and his battle with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and depression when he returned. His father committed suicide while he was in Vietnam, and this tragic event turned Michael to look at the high suicide rates of young males, one of the highest suicide rates in the world, and eventually prompted him to give support to other men who are unhappy and worried, and in need of support. The Men’s House in Fig Street gives help to up to 15 men at a time and also women in need of shelter. The house has a permaculture garden which was donated to them, and they receive support and donations from the Maleny IGA. They would like to be self-supporting and were submitting plans to the Council to lift the house up to put in more accommodation underneath, and have a workshop at the back. More information on the Maleny Men’s House can be found at the following link:
http://www.hinterlandtimes.com.au/2015/03/04/the-maleny-community-mens-house-love-self-and-do-next-thing/

Michael concluded by saying that he believed that they had started something that could be replicated in other towns, in conjunction with local Doctors and the Men’s Help Line.

President Ric closed the meeting, after a decision was made to postpone next week’s Board meeting owing to many board members being away. The next dinner meeting will be on Wed 20 May- a combined Sunshine Coast Rotary Meeting at the University of the Sunshine Coast at Sippy Downs.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS
27th May
Project Meeting at the Masonic Hall with $10 meal.

29&30th May
Maleny Show.

3rd June
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with our own Phillip Stark talking on My Story.

10th June
Board Meeting at the Masonic Hall.

17th June
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker TBA.

24th June
Changeover Dinner at Old Bank Cafe - Partners Night.

BIRTHDAYS FOR MAY
4th Angela Griffin  18th Cilla Vickers  23rd John Hay

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT
A CAUTIONARY TALE FOR THE UNWARY

HUSBAND DOWN IN AISLE 5


A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket, The husband picks up a carton of beer and puts it in their cart.

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.

"They're on sale, only $30 for 24" he replies.

"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, and they carry on shopping.

A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $60 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.

"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of beer and it's half the price."

THAT'S HIM IN AISLE 5.

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 17th September 2014

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 6

WEDNESDAY 17TH SEPTEMBER 2014

THIS WEEK'S MEETING

Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Leo Phelan of Eco-Goats. Please go to www.ecogoatsqld.com.au for background information.

APOLOGIES

Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                                17 Sep        1 Oct          15 Oct         
                    
Duty Officer            Jeff C           Bill H            Lionel T           
 
Registration            Andy S         Donna C      Sherryl G

ADO & Scribe         Angela G      Rick V         Malcolm B
          
Fellowship               Alan W         Ric T          Johm McL  
  
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER

27 September
Lionel Tilley (Leader)   Rick Vickers   Angela Griffin

11th October
John Whan (Leader)  Ric Townsend   Donna Cervantes 

MINUTES OF MEETING OF LAST MEETING

Meeting opened by President Ric followed by loyal toast, grace and welcome to Brian Turner (PP), Ric’s wife Jacinta and guest speaker Melissa Borich.

Lionel T gave report on the calendar progress and change of Bowel Scan kit suppliers, unfortunately resulting in a dearer kit.

Chris B spoke on parking with Real Food Festival. Roster to be sent out. Although by the time this goes to print, RFF will have been and gone.

Sergeant Chris B gave an absolutely scintillating session with usual wonderful wit and brilliance (wonder if anyone actually reads/believes this).

Jim Atkinson introduced Guest speaker Melissa.

Melissa explained that the catalyst for change to healthier lifestyle was husband Kevin’s diagnosis of a very aggressive cancer.

They researched as much as they could and treated the opportunity to help with Kevin’s treatment as a challenge rather than a sentence.

Kevin and Melissa adopted a much healthier lifestyle including change of diet with more juicing and cooking with the ingredients as close to the natural source as possible. They chose food with non-additives and no trans-fats. Any meat had to be free range, good quality and lean. 

Exercise of at least 30 minutes per day (walking, yoga), meditation, breathing control, moderate amount of sunshine for Vitamin D and the ability to remain positive and happy.  They resolved to keep active as well as set aside time for relaxation. 

Melissa believes the ideal lifestyle accepts the mind, body and spirit.  Breathing control is essential for controlling stress levels, weight control and mental stimulation.  Vitamin D can come from salmon, fatty acids and flax seed oils as well as sunlight.

Melissa summed it up as daily exercise, choose food wisely, sunshine and be happy.

Chris B thanked Melissa acknowledging her as a living example of her lifestyle and couldn’t help himself in promoting the RSL yoga classes Monday mornings at 0930h.

Meeting closed by President Ric and we all went home.

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS

24th Sep
Vocational visit to IGA.

1st October
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Professor Nita Nestor on Botanical Art.

8th October
Masonic Hall for Board Meeting.

15th October
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm for Official DG's Visit with Partner's welcome.

22nd October
Masonic Hall at 6:30 for 7:00pm for Project Meeting - $10 meal.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES FOR SEPTEMBER
4th John & Bernice  18th Andy & Mia  28th Keith & Gloria

BIRTHDAY FOR SEPTEMBER
29th Mia Schouteten

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT

A CAUTIONARY TALE ABOUT PRESCRIPTION DRUGS AND POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS

A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?"

He declines. "Thanks for asking, but, I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime, she asks him if he'd like something.  "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?"

He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food."

Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat.  "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie?  Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"

He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry."


"Well," she says, "Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving."

Rotary Club of Maleny Bulletin for 20 August 2014

"THE RANGE"  Vol. 56 No. 4

WEDNESDAY 20 AUGUST 2014

THIS WEEK'S MEETING

Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Alan Wilson on "My Story".

APOLOGIES

Please tender apologies to Bernice by noon Tuesday.

DUTY ROSTERS
                                  20 Aug        3 Sep          17 Sep          
                    
Duty Officer             Mike G          Jim A         Jeff C           
 
Registration             Bernice M     Robin T     Andy S

ADO & Scribe          Keith R          Chris B      Angela G
          
Fellowship               Lionel T         John W       Alan W  
  
SAUSAGE SIZZLE ROSTER

30 August
Malcolm Baker (Leader)  Jeff Cornfoot  Bill Hankinson

13 September
John Whan (Leader) Andy Shouteten  Ric Townsend

27 September
Lionel Tilley (Leader)  Rick Vickers  Angela Griffin

MINUTES OF MEETING OF LAST MEETING

President Ric opened the meeting with the normal formalities and welcomed our Guest Speaker Audrey Raymond.

 New member induction:

It was most welcome to have a new member induction at the meeting. President Ric, with due ceremony,  inducted Donna Cervantes as a new member, sponsored by Bernice McLennan. Donna, who has already begun working with the club on service activities and has a desire to serve the community, was warmly welcomed to the Club by the members at the meeting.


Incoming President
President Ric announced that Jeff Cornfoot had accepted this position. The AGM was reconvened and Jeff was elected unopposed.

Men's Shed
President Ric announced the proposal to lay a concrete slab for the new Men’s Shed.  Michael G. proposed putting in an application for a District Grant to assist with costs.

BowelScan 2014
Lionel reported that overall it was a successful year, however the number of kits sold (260) was down on the last two years (344/280). The return rate was 84% which was an improvement on the usual 75%.  Disappointingly the younger demographic (none below 45) are giving the scheme a miss with 82% of participants being 60 years of age or older.
The good news is that across the project area only 11 positives were detected – one being in Maleny. Next year we will be using a different type kit (Eiken immunological) which should prove a bit easier to use and the samples will be analysed at the Sullivan Nicolaides Lab in Toowong. Not sure yet of the cost but it will be slightly higher than this year.  He thanked Jim for his assistance early in the program when I was holidaying.

Calendar
Lionel gave a report on the calendar progress. He will be calling soon for volunteers to assist to hang the photos at Maple 3.

Guest Speaker
Audrey Raymond from the Buddies Refugee Support Group gave a passionate account of the organisation she belongs to and how they make a difference to refugees living on the Sunshine Coast and Brisbane areas. Audrey also went through a long list of myths about asylum seekers, boat people and refugees – some of her information was very confronting and disturbing. She provided lots of statistics and personal accounts to back up her talk.

Buddies Refugee Support Group based on the Sunshine Coast was established in 2001, offering refugee support services which include hospitality, picnics, exchange of letters, phone calls, a weekly bulletin, education opportunities, advocacy and lobbying. They also fundraise to assist the financial plight of refugees on bridging visas, as they have very little money, are not allowed to work or even do voluntary work. The organization has had a growth spurt in the last 6 months increasing their member base from 250 members in December 2013 to 800 members at present.

 Some of the myths that Audrey dispelled were:
• Boat people are illegal
• Boat people are queue jumpers
• Boat arrivals are not genuine asylum seekers
• Boat arrivals present a security risk
• Asylum seekers who can afford to come by boat are economic migrants
• Mandatory detention is necessary for border security
• Australia has one of the most generous refugee intakes in the world.

She handed out a brochure with more statistics and facts to dispel the myths. Some quotes form the brochure “ With over 15 million refugees worldwide and only 80,000 places allocated each year for resettlement, if all the world’s refugees were to join a queue, the wait would be more than 190 years….”.  “Australia stands alone as a democratic developed nation which imposes mandatory indefinite detention on asylum seekers who arrive legally without visas”. Sources cited for more information include:
Refugee Council of Australia: www.refugeecouncil.org.au
Asylum Seeker Resource Centre:  www.asrc.org.au/resources/mythbusters
Chilout (Children out of detention):  www.chilout.org/myths-and-facts
Refugee Action Coalition Sydney: www.refugeeaction.org.au

FUTURE MEETINGS & EVENTS

27th Aug
Masonic Hall at 7:00pm for Club Assembly with $10 meal.

3rd Sep
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speaker Melissa Borich on Healthy Lifestyles.

10th Sep
Masonic Hall for Board Meeting.

13th/14th Sep
Parking for Real Food Festival at Maleny Show Grounds.

17th Sep
Maleny Hotel at 6:30 for 7:00pm with Guest Speakers Maggie & Steve Lowe on Goat Co-op Project.  Please go to www.ecogoatsqld.com.au for background information.

24th Sep
Vocational visit to IGA.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY FOR AUGUST
29th Angela and Mike

BIRTHDAYS FOR AUGUST
17th Malcolm Baker  20th  Jocelyn Brooker  29th  Lionel Tilley

NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT

TALES FROM A MONASTERY

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.  He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say "We can't tell you because you're not a monk."

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes on his merry way.

Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.

The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.

That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply "We can't tell you because you're not a monk."

The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know.  If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?"

The monks reply "You must travel the Earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk."

The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery.  He says, "I have travelled the Earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.

The monks reply "Congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk.  We shall now show you the way to the sound."

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says "the sound is behind that door."

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked.  He asks "May I have the key?"

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.

Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.  The man requests the key to the stone door.

The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.

Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say "This is the key to the last door."

The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound.
It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight ...........









..... But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.




DON'T SWEAR AT ME!

With acknowledgement to Dave Allen